The First Ten Focus Group Feedback for Making Monsters: Dark Origins
Because Making Monsters was Book of the Day, some of our most trusted members have carefully looked over the cover, the description, and other aspects of this book as a part of purchase-intent focus group. We then asked each participant in the focus group if they planned to buy and read the book, and why they planned to buy and read the book or not. Their answer to that question and reasons are displayed below. We call this awesome feature The First Ten Focus Group.
Keep in mind, the responses from the members are not reviews. This is purchase-intent focus group which means the participants are people who have NOT yet bought or read your book. A purchase-intent focus group is an important and extremely useful marketing tool for any product, not just books. For other products, you might walk on the street and show people an item in a package and poll them about whether they would buy if or $X or not. These kind of focus groups are one of the ways big marketing companies find the ideal price points for products and test the effectiveness of different packaging. The focus group can help you identify your market so you how to target ads of your book, and it can (but may not) provide you new useful info about your "packaging" (e.g. your book cover, your book synopsis on Amazon, etc.). The point of the focus group comments is to give you information from people who have not bought or read your book about why they plan to buy your book which will help you in marketing the book. These are not reviews or critiques of your book because they are not from people have read the book. This is a marketing tool, not reviews. The trick of book marketing and book advertising is that you have to convince people who have not read your book yet that your book is worth buying and reading. For marketing, it doesn't matter much if people love your book after reading it if you cannot convince potential buyers before they read it that they will love it.
IMPORTANT: Any score over 10% is considered very good. And any score above 0% is acceptable. This is because we only poll about 20 or so readers, and all readers have to say "no" to almost all books. Over a million books are published each year. Even a very active reader cannot come close to even reading 1% of books out there.
This is also why publishing books is such a tough industry.
Ekta Kumari
The story depicts the life of a young boy, Vander Masozi, who struggles through life because of his alcoholic father and mentally disturbed mother while he has a supernatural power that unlocks a different world for him. I wouldn't have read the book as the blurb didn't entice me, and I'm not much into the genre as well. On reading the official OBC review, I felt a bit overwhelmed seeing the wide variety of themes this book has. However, I liked sampling it, and the steady pace of the narrative helps understand the characters better. The thing I liked the most is the title to the chapters that offers a good overview of the content while also encouraging curiosity. I also like that the writing is able to entice feelings of mystery while also influencing sympathy for Vander. I was able to find an error in the portion sampled in this sentence, "To Vander’s delight a strange and unlikely friendship began, though one that Vander was hard-pressed to explain." There should be a comma after 'delight'. I saw an official OBC review, but still I wouldn't be reading the whole book as I don't think I really find the themes engaging enough. I do not recommend anything for improvements based on the sample.
First Ten review added on March 6, 2022, at 5:55 am by Ekta Kumari.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
va2016
The cover with monsters and a human and the title "Making Monsters" indicate that the book is about monsters. There are only four Amazon customer ratings on the book which is not a sufficient number for me to decide to sample the book. The Amazon summary clearly states that the story is about the supernatural abilities of a boy. As I am not interested in the overall theme, I would have skipped sampling the book if not for the First Ten program. As I sampled through the book, I found the narration describing the protagonist Vander's early life. As I am not interested in the theme, I am not going to read this book in full. I didn't find the sample professionally edited. There were formatting errors in the sample. For example, the line spacing is different in paragraph 2 compared to paragraph 1. I didn't like anything specifically about the book. As an improvement, I would suggest thorough proofreading of the book. Although I found one OBC review of the book, my decision to not to read the book in full is based on my own sampling.
First Ten review added on March 6, 2022, at 4:56 am by va2016.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Manang Muyang
I am a certified thriller fan, but knowing from the blurb that a 9-year-old boy is involved in all the gore gave me pause. I wouldn't have sampled the book on my own. The first chapter confirmed my decision not to read the book. It was much too violent. I couldn't appreciate anything from what I read because of the shocking gore. I also noted sentence fragments and comma splices. One sentence fragment was at 1% of the book: "'You're not leaving, are you?' the familiar voice emanating from the blackness." "Emanating" should have been "emanated" or "called." This comma splice is at 2%: "Looking back at the woman, Vander caught the flash of surgical steel as it sliced down and hit an artery in the woman's neck, blood spewed." The last comma should have been a period or semicolon. I hope the authors can tone down the violence or make Vander much older. The complimentary official OBC review failed to convince me to try the book.
First Ten review added on March 6, 2022, at 4:46 am by Manang Muyang.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Jeremie Mondejar
This book was introduced to me by OnlineBookClub, so I sampled this book based on the program. The reviews give a good synopsis, but the sample will tell if I like it or not. I will not read this book because the plot seems too dark for me to read, especially when it involves children. The only thing that is a bit striking is this statement, "better left unknown." I like the statement because it easily catches attention. When I read the sample, I don't see any typos, and I think the book seems professionally edited. The book has an OBC review that helps readers understand the story, but it doesn't affect my decision. Lastly, I can't recommend anything for improvements.
First Ten review added on March 6, 2022, at 4:39 am by Jeremie Mondejar.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Justine Ocsebio
I read the blurb, and I thought I didn’t want to sample it because of the premise. The sample begins with Vander finding himself in a strange place. Spirits trail behind Vander as he looks for his friend, Jack. I don’t have any idea what’s going on, but I like it. It seems like this is the kind of book that you just dive into without knowing anything about it. The world-building is imaginative, and it has an interesting air of mystery to it. I’m interested in learning more about this place that Vander explores in the beginning. Therefore, I’m going to read the book. The OBC review was helpful. I don’t have anything negative to say about the book. I didn’t find any errors, so I would say the book must be well edited. I don’t have any improvements to suggest.
First Ten review added on March 6, 2022, at 4:35 am by Justine Ocsebio.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Shrabastee Chakraborty
Despite the official OBC review's rating, I was hesitant because of the "dark themes" the review mentioned. Reading the first ten pages made me change my mind. I couldn't find any errors in the pages. The author described Vander's unique ability to roam the realm of the dead while asleep. In this instance, Vander was searching for his friend, Jack. I was readily drawn into the story and Vander's supernatural power piqued my interest. I didn't think the book needed improvement. Based on my experience, I will gladly read the entire book.
First Ten review added on March 6, 2022, at 4:22 am by Shrabastee Chakraborty.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Sonya Nicolaidis
The reviews of this book were all outstanding and my interest was certainly piqued when I noted that the story starts in South Africa, as this is the part of the world that I am from. The OBC also offered an excellent review of this book, and this, as well as a great cover design, would make it likely that I would have stopped for a closer look at this one. l really enjoyed the first ten. The writing was clear and flowed well and the descriptions were such that I felt I was really there with the boy, sharing his experiences. The story promises to take an interesting turn with the introduction of a serial killer, so it incorporates all the elements that I look for in a book. I didn’t see anything I can say I didn’t like, nor were there any errors, so I think it definitely was professionally edited. If I were to change anything, it might be the title. The current title doesn’t do the story due justice and suggests a story that is more aimed at younger readers. In fact, this book seems it would be better for adults. So far, I liked what I read and I would definitely read the whole thing. Great book today.
First Ten review added on March 6, 2022, at 3:46 am by Sonya Nicolaidis.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Mercy Bolo
This book's cover didn't entice me to read it. The OBC review dissuaded me when it mentioned that the author narrates the story of Vander, a South African boy with supernatural abilities. That storyline doesn't appeal to me, so I won't read the rest of the book. When I read the first ten pages, I liked that Vander was grateful to find shelter for his soul while his body slept. I will conclude that the text underwent professional editing since I spotted no errors. There's nothing I disliked about the bit I read, and I wouldn't change anything about it.
First Ten review added on March 6, 2022, at 3:44 am by Mercy Bolo.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Dzejn_Crvena
I wouldn't have sampled this book outside this program based on the genre and blurb. I'm not fond of reading stories with disturbing scenes right now. The OBC review and the sample didn't convince me to read it. I'm anticipating a lot of violence and gore that are featured in this book. The protagonist is a nine-year-old boy with a special ability in astral projection. While wandering through the realms of the souls of the dead, his friend Jack made him watch a glimpse of his future. One scene showed a woman who was killed in front of him. That part was too graphic for me, so I decided not to read further. I like the poetic and fast-paced writing style that made the sample very engaging to read. The book seems professionally edited, so I don't have suggestions for improvements.
First Ten review added on March 6, 2022, at 3:32 am by Dzejn_Crvena.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sou Hi
Even without this program, I would have sampled this. There are only four ratings on Amazon, but the official review from OnlineBookClub and the blurb look good. I'm also interested in Vander's supernatural gift.
I like the suspenseful plot. Jack seems to be a weird fellow, and I feel that he is trying to taint Vander. However, I would suggest another round of proofreading. Since the book is interesting enough, I will buy it.
Error example: At thirty-two years of age, she was a slender, five feet-ten-inch-tall blonde with captivating brown eyes. -> There should be a hyphen after "five"
First Ten review added on March 6, 2022, at 1:51 am by Sou Hi.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Annelore Trujillo
I would not have sampled this book based on the genre, blurb, OBC review, cover and title. The review talked a lot about descriptions of abuse, which I didn’t think I’d be up for reading. After reading the first ten pages, I won’t be finishing this book. It started out in the netherworld with Jack getting ready to show a future vision. This story just isn’t for me. I’m not into this other realm and the future viewing and the potential to change that future. There wasn’t anything specific that I liked so far. Nothing needed improvement. The book did seem to be professionally edited.
First Ten review added on March 6, 2022, at 1:28 am by Annelore Trujillo.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sanju Lali
Making monsters meant many things to me, so I could not guess anything about this book. I read the OBC official review of this book to know about its contents. The OBC official review gave me the idea that this is a supernatural fantasy storybook. This idea inspired me to read the first ten pages sample of this book. After reading the first ten pages, I realized that this book was not professionally edited because I found some grammatical errors in the sample. For example, the sentence, "To Vander’s delight a strange and unlikely friendship began, though one that Vander was hard-pressed to explain. " The sentence could be as follows. "To Vander’s delight, a strange and unlikely friendship began, though one that Vander was hard-pressed to explain." I liked the way in which Jack surprised Vander on several occasions because it entertained me. Sadly, I lost interest in reading because I had to make wild guesses when I was visualizing the scenes as their description was inadequate for me. My suggestion to the author would be to go for a round of professional editing and to consider my difficulties as mentioned above. Considering all the aspects of this book, I decided not to purchase and read this book until the author resolves my difficulties.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 10:05 pm by Sanju Lali.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
brooke oakes
I don’t think I would have sampled or read this book outside this program. I didn't really find its cover or title interesting. Also, neither its OBC nor Amazon review appealed to me with the mention domestic violence. Vander is a young boy. He lives in the slums of South Africa. His dad is physically abusive. There are gangs that he has to watch out for and try to stay away from. I liked the character personalities in this book, but nothing else in the book appealed to me, so I won't complete it.I don't notice any errors, while I read. I don't think this book needs any improvement.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 9:40 pm by brooke oakes.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sarah_Khan
At first glance, I thought the cover and title of this book were intriguing and they made me want to find out more. I liked that the Amazon blurb did not give too much information away. The first few pages were well edited. I have to say I was not expecting the story to get so violent, so fast. I was shocked at the description of the woman bound in a chair who then gets her neck sliced. The OBC review provided more information about the plot, which I am grateful for. After seeing the reviews and comments, I realized this book is a little too violent for me. For this reason, I will not be reading the rest. I do not have any suggestions for the author.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 9:05 pm by Sarah_Khan.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Jorge Leon Salazar
The cover and title look in keeping with the tough topics that the book tackles. I think the target audience should be drawn to it. In general, dark mystery readings do not appeal to me. The blurb comments that the story revolves around Vander, a boy with a supernatural gift. He lives in a poor slum in South Africa and faces difficult situations like an abusive father, street gangs, and predatory police officers. Plus, he has to evade a sophisticated serial killer. The customer reviews give this book a perfect rating. Based on these aspects, I am uninclined to try this book. The first ten pages present Vander in two different environments, one in a netherworld where spirits live and the other in a crumbling shanty where his parents live. From the beginning, the story poses disturbing situations. The strange place where tormented spirits live sounds terrifying as well as the incident in which a woman bleeds to death. I find it disturbing that a child has to witness events like these. On the other hand, the situation at his abusive father's house is mortifying; I was struck by the fact that his father took what little Vander had to eat and didn't even share it with him or his starving mother. An expectation is raised regarding Erin and Peter who are running an investigation that seems to have to do with Vander. What I read in these first pages was very hard not only because of what happened but also due to Vander is just a nine-year-old boy. The official OnlineBookClub review indicates this tragic book addresses topics like death, murder, abuse, racism, gender discrimination, sexual perversion, poverty, and mental illness. However, it also offers an attractive touch of intrigue, suspense, mystery, and thrill. The editing looks outstanding since I did not see any detail to comment on. Overall, I didn't see anything that I believe could be improved. What I read poses many worrisome issues that are not to my liking. What Vander lives is very disturbing. Moreover, I'm not a fan of topics related to spirits or paranormal elements. In conclusion, I will not read the rest of the book.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 11:47 am by Jorge Leon Salazar.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Diana Lowery
I would not have chosen this book based on the title or the cover. The blurb stated that the setting was in South Africa, which I found interesting, but not enough to convince me to read the book. The OBC review mentioned disturbing messages, which made me not want to read the book. There was an unnecessary comma at 13%, "...while his body slept [,] because here..." I liked the realistic dialogue between Jack and Vander, the nine-year-old boy. I did not like the description of the other world. I am not going to finish reading the book because I do not want to read something that will scare me. I do not have any suggestions for the author.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 9:38 am by Diana Lowery.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Vidhi Adhikari
I liked the interpretive title and cover of this book. However, the description of the plot did not have a strong suspense element to compel me to read the sample. The lack of enough customer and editorial reviews did not give me much confidence in the story either. However, the moment I realized that the book involves astral projection, I knew I had to read it further. My favourite part was how subtly and gradually the concept of astral projection was introduced in the beginning of the story. There were only a few minor grammatical errors in the first ten pages ('there was still one {add comma} who had been quick to welcome him and to offer him insights.'). I would only suggest adding more details in the description to better grab the attention of the reader.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 8:57 am by Vidhi Adhikari.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Theresa Moffitt
I would not have picked this book up based on the cover alone. The title and cover art look like this is a fantasy novel. I am not really a fan of that genre. So, I would not have been attracted to the cover. The Online Book Club review was very positive and recommended the book; however, it confirmed that it is a fantasy novel. The OBC review was very informative, so I didn’t read any additional customer reviews. The first ten pages were well written. I didn’t see any errors, so I believe it was professionally edited. I didn’t see any area that the author could improve upon. The story begins with Vander describing a nether world where he appears to be able to come and go. He’s looking for his friend, Jack, but he thinks he might be in Hell instead. Ultimately, he sees Jack who shows him his possible future. I think fans of this genre will enjoy this book. However, based on the first ten pages and the OBC review, I don’t think this is a book I would enjoy reading.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 8:46 am by Theresa Moffitt.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Gabrielle Sigaki
Making Monsters by AJ Parnell & Chuck Duncan is a psychological thriller book that also contains mystery, violence, and various dark themes, such as gender discrimination and domestic violence. This book follows the story of a boy with supernatural gifts named Vander. If I didn't sample this book, I would read it based on its Official OnlineBookClub review, its blurb, its genre, and its customer reviews since the book seemed to be dynamic and the characters seemed to be complex and not completely good or evil. After sampling it, I changed my mind and I won't read the entire book because it reminded me of police dramas where the cops can't catch a serial killer and the one who might help them has supernatural skills, and I'm not interested in this kind of book since I thought that it would be more focused on the psychological aspect of the characters. The book's cover and title didn't affect my decision. The book seems professionally edited since I didn't find errors while sampling it, but I think it could be improved if the author focused more on the characters' thoughts and less on the actions. Besides, my favorite part was Jack's character, who did a lot of awful things in the past, but now he is the friend of a kid with a dysfunctional family.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 6:47 am by Gabrielle Sigaki.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
gen_g
Looking at the cover illustration and title, it is obvious that the book seems to be a fantasy adventure of sorts (and maybe also targeted at young adults). I am not in the market for supernatural fiction, so I would not have sampled it. This time, the OBC review (which was positive) delved pretty deep into the book regarding its plot and themes, which I very much appreciated. However, the OBC review still would not have changed my mind regarding sampling because of the genre mismatch. I would also like to mention here that the cover illustration is extremely well-designed and is very appealing. Unfortunately, after sampling for First Ten, I have spotted a couple of errors present. An example of an error can be found at 1% in the book, where there is wrongly used hyphen: "...small, painfully-thin frame...". The hyphen is not needed here because the adverb ends in "-ly". In this case, more editing is required because I expect all authors who want to publish to, at the very minimum, present an error-free work. Additionally, after sampling, I realise that whenever new characters are introduced, the authors tend to first describe them by mentioning their body type/height; for example, we learn that Vander is extremely skinny, Erin is five feet and ten inches tall, and Peter is six feet tall. I appreciate the general descriptions given, but because there is a set formula of sorts that the authors follow when introducing new characters to the reader, it get a bit repetitive and possibly takes the reader out of the immersive reading experience. Hence, what I would suggest is to build upon previous descriptions; for example, if Erin is five feet ten, she can be described as having to tilt her head upwards slightly to look at Peter, which would then indicate to the reader that he is quite a bit taller than she is, without having to give exact figures. Doing as such will also keep the reader immersed in the story. Regrettably, whilst the cover illustration and the Amazon blurb are rather appealing, the number of errors I have spotted has taken away a significant portion of my enjoyment of the book, so I will not be reading the rest of it.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 4:03 am by gen_g.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Eunice Geres
I would've checked the sample of this book even if it wasn't on BOTD because the book cover is gorgeous. I don't usually read thriller books, but I'm prepared to make exceptions for this book because the premise seems interesting. The official review did an excellent job highlighting the social issues mentioned in this book. I think that makes the book more interesting and relatable. Furthermore, I didn't notice any grammatical mistakes in the sample I've read. The first ten pages of the book were wonderfully written. The vocabulary used in this book gives an eerie aura to the narration, which fits the book's theme pretty well. I think Vander would be a great character. The starting scene with him and Jack is an excellent start. It is thrilling, and a great sneak peek at the book's story. I would definitely continue to read this.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 3:59 am by Eunice Geres.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Rodel Barnachea
After I perused the book’s official OBC review and Amazon page, I decided not to purchase the title. I am not fascinated by the “scary supernatural gift” that Vander Masozi possesses. I am not intrigued by how this gift could help him get out of his current situation wherein his parents either abuse or do not care about his wellbeing. I am also not interested in learning how an Englishman and a serial killer would change his life. Sampling the title failed to change my mind. I would not acquire it because nothing in the sample convinced me I could enjoy reading the rest of the novel. Other reasons I stated before I sampled the thriller are factors I considered in making my final decision. The first ten pages cover the first three chapters. What I liked most is the surprise Jack had in store for Vander. I identified one error in the text. In the sentence “...bright, promising, possibilities,” the comma after the word “promising” must be removed such that the sentence now appears as “...bright, promising possibilities.” Since there is only one error, the book still seems professionally edited. I have no advice to offer to the author.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 3:37 am by Rodel Barnachea.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Harsh Soni 3
After looking at the cover and title, the book seems like a mysterious thriller that I, generally, don't read. Then, I read the Official OBC review of the book (after that I don't need any other blurb or review) where I came to know that the book contains too much violence for me. If the book is not part of the first ten, I will never sample the book. So, I am going to pass this book because of the reasons mentioned above. After reading the sample, I found that the author includes some short lines. That is my favourite thing about the book, as it works as a brief description of the chapter. I found no errors in the book. I have no suggestion for the book.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 3:15 am by Harsh Soni 3.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Gabriella H
The cover looks interesting. I don’t like the title, but I like the genre. After reading the official OBC review, I was very skeptical about this book. It deals with themes I’m not interested in. Based on this review, it seemed too dark, and I didn’t feel like reading it after reading this review. My mind wasn’t changed after reading the first ten pages because I’m not interested in astral projection and the themes contained in this book. The customer reviews and the blurb were also not able to change my mind. I didn’t read any editorial review. I won't be completing this book, and I saw no errors in the first ten pages, so I think the editor did a good job on those pages. I have no suggestions for improvement.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 3:10 am by Gabriella H.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Ari Martinez
If it hadn't been for this program, I would have still sampled this book based on its Official OnlineBookClub review because I was intrigued by the "disturbing introspection" readers will have to face since I like it when a novel makes me think. I also don't mind reading gory or disturbing stories as long as I like the plot. The title and cover alone made me think the book would be a fantasy novel, which is a genre I do not enjoy much. After reading the first ten pages, I will continue reading the book because the first chapter reminded me of certain ghost stories I used to read as a child. I know this book will end up being very different from those stories, but I couldn't help being drawn to this book for that reason. My favorite part of the sample was the first chapter for the reason I just mentioned. I can't think of any way to improve the book, and it appears professionally edited.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 2:20 am by Ari Martinez.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Soraya Bayah
I believe I am a good fit for reading this book. It has been a while since I read a thriller with fantasy intertwined, especially with souls and darkness. I will happily continue this book. I would choose it from the genre, cover, title, and reviews, especially OBC, as they help me know what I am up to. I did not find errors and found the book extremely neat. It hurts to think that Vander, being only nine years old, have to keep up with the gruesome scenes Jake shows him. I am eager to know more about Erin and what she does, and how everything intervenes with Vander’s dark world. It has been a while since I felt this excited about a book.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 2:06 am by Soraya Bayah.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Astral Magi
The haunting title and frightening cover piqued my interest. If I hadn't read the first ten pages, I would have read the book based on these. I found the first ten pages a little overwhelming due to the mention of departed spirits and the fact that Vander's father was an alcoholic, according to the official OBC review. Because I, too, had an abusive parent, I put the book away. The book's customer reviews indicated that it dealt with Vander's childhood hardships. I liked that he had such a strong personality, but I'm not interested in reading this book. I didn't notice anything that needed to be improved, and there were no errors. The book was professionally edited.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 12:54 am by Astral Magi.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Jennifer Garcia 555
I like this genre and the title of the book. I was curious to find out more about it. I read the sample pages and found the beginning of this story intriguing. I like the place with the tortured souls the boy visits in his sleep and wonder if it’s real or a dream. Vander seems like a sad boy. I did not see any editing errors, so this book seems professionally edited. I have no suggestions for improvement. I usually pass on stories of abuse, but the official OnlineBookClub review that I read convinced me I need to read the rest of this story. I look forward to reading the rest of this book.
First Ten review added on March 5, 2022, at 12:19 am by Jennifer Garcia 555.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Mary WhiteFace
The title and cover are perfect for the type of story. I do not like reading psychological thrillers, so without the First Ten program I would not have been interested in reading this one. I made my decision after reading the synopsis. Neither the OnlineBookClub review nor the customer reviews influenced my decision, as I did not read them before writing this. Reading the first ten pages reinforced my decision. The book seemed to be professionally edited. I have no suggestions for improvements.
There was no part that I particularly liked better than another, but there was a part that I found particularly gross and gruesome. At location 108, Vander saw a women's artery get sliced with a piece of "surgical steel" which I presumed to be a scalpel. I would have been able to handle the incident a little better if the author hadn't done such a great job of describing the aftermath. The blood "spewed" all over Vander and got in his eyes, and then "He wretched as he realized that his mouth was dripping with her life’s essence (location 114)."
The author was exceptionally talented in creating visuals, which ironically is the reason I will not be able to read the whole book.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 8:53 pm by Mary WhiteFace.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kelyn
Even if I had not been in this program, it is possible that I would have run across this book. The supernatural is one of my areas of interest, so it is within the types of books I look for. Both the title and the cover would have attracted my attention. They suggest that the book has a bit of darkness to it. That's something I enjoy on occasion in the books I read. The blurb was interesting and definitely engaged my interest in the book. The customer reviews on Amazon and the official OBC review on this site were very complimentary. I did not see an OBC review on the Amazon site. If I had, I would have been interested in what the reviewer had to say. In the sample, Vander is a character who instantly catches your heart. I shudder to imagine what it would be like as a nine-year-old to be struggling with a supernatural gift I did not yet understand or control while at the same time being expected to support my family to avoid severe abuse. I truly hope that Vander gets his wish and lives on the other side of the wall one day. Due to the grim nature of Vander's situation, I can't say I had a favorite part of the sample. While I did find the plot intriguing and Vander's character extremely engaging, the sample didn't give me quite enough to commit to reading the book. For instance, is he a necromancer or simply someone who can access purgatory? Including a bit more detail about what his gift is might have pushed me into reading the book. The book seemed well-edited. I found no 'countable' errors in the sample.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 8:46 pm by Kelyn.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kaitlyn Canedy
If Making Monsters hadn't been the OnlineBookClub's book of the day, I would have skipped the sample of it. Horror books are not my favorite, as I cannot stand reading about bloody scenes. After seeing the cover art and reading the description, I knew that I would see these once I read the sample. The customer reviews that are present did not affect my decision to read the book. For a nine-year-old, Zander speaks like an adult, which I found interesting. There were no grammatical errors at all in the sample. Because I did not like the scene with the woman and the blood, I will be skipping the rest of this book. I cannot think of anything that needs improvement, and the official OnlineBookClub review did not affect my decision to skip the book due to my aversion to gore. If a reader likes horror books or enjoys horror movies, this book may appeal to them.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 7:39 pm by Kaitlyn Canedy.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Hazel Arnaiz
Based on the cover and title, I will skip this book. It looks like young adult fiction, which I seldom read. The blurb mentions supernatural abilities and serial killing. Although the protagonist is a young boy, the target audience is 18 years old and above. Customer reviews are positive. After sampling, I appreciate that the story is an eye-opener to the cruel realities of poverty. However, I will not finish the book. The initial chapters focus on slowly building up the characters. I prefer a faster pace. Also, the boy sounds older for his age. I suggest more distinction between the tone of the young and the adult characters. There are editing issues, and here are some examples.
Location 65. Spelling. Compound word. Consider adding a hyphen.
Knowing the awful things his friend had done in his [long ago] lifetime, Vander was pretty sure Jack was not destined for the light.
Location 96. Spelling. Consider using "wisps" in this context.
Waves of dark shadows began to flow from Vander’s spirit like [whisps] of smoke.
The official OnlineBookClub review is insightful. But, I skip this one.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 6:52 pm by Hazel Arnaiz.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Stephanie Runyon
The mystical appearance cover of the book gave me the impression this would be a fantasy story. When I read the OBC review, this was confirmed partially, whereas it was also presented as a possible reality check in the darker parts of depraved human psyche. I would have sampled the book based on the initial impression as well as the review's description. I noted one error: To Vander's delight a strange and unlikely friendship began, though one that Vander was hard-pressed to explain. There should be a comma after the word delight. However, the minor error does not detract from the overall quality of the story. I would not offer any suggestion for improving the book beyond minor editing. The OBC review did influence my choice to continue reading the story. The chilling reality of what Vander lived and where he traveled were intriguing. I think he did his best to detach from the constant possibility of death.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 6:31 pm by Stephanie Runyon.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Mariana Figueira
Before reading the book's first pages, I wasn't interested in it because nothing on the cover or the title got my attention. After sampling the book, I don't want to continue reading it because the story didn't captivate me. I like that it is stated that Vander is not normal, even I was scared of the place he was in! This book seems professionally edited, I didn't see any typos; plus, it has an official Online BookClub review. I didn't see anything that needed improvement. Neither the blurb, customer reviews, nor editorial reviews affect my decision not to read the book.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 5:56 pm by Mariana Figueira.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
markodim721
I would choose to read a sample of this book because of the cover and title. I read customer reviews and the Official OnlineBookClub review but they did not influence my decision. The blurb helped me understand the structure of the book and in that sense influenced my decision. I didn't find any editor reviews. The title of the book is enigmatic, mysterious, and reminiscent of adventure. The cover of the book is very successfully associated with adventure, uncertainty, and action, and it fits well with the title. I will not read the book because I am not in the mood to read psychological fiction at the moment. While reading the sample I did notice multiple typos (painfully-thin instead of painfully thin; astral-project instead of astral project; red sea instead of Red Sea) and the book does not seem like it is professionally edited. Reading the sample did not change my mind from my original guess. I like how the authors described in detail and with a lot of persuasiveness the scene in which Vander is present, which refers to the cutting of the carotid artery of a woman who was tied up. Although the scene is violent, it is also authentic. I don't think anything needs to be improved in the book.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 5:36 pm by markodim721.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Brenda Creech
I would not have checked this book out based on the title and cover because both appeared intimidating. I don't care for scary stories. After reading the OBC review, I was sure I would not be reading this book. I didn't read any other blurbs or reviews. I found the book to be very well written and exceptionally edited as I did not find any errors in the portion I read. I have to admire the authors' imagination by making a nine-year-old boy the story's protagonist. Vander's way of escaping the terrible conditions he lived in at home was strange. By just reading ten pages, I could not get a natural feel for the book's concept. But I firmly decided I would not be reading the rest of the book because of the intense situations Vander faced in his visions. I did not find anything that needed improvement from the standpoint of the storyline. I can't say there was a part I liked the best as I wasn't fond of anything I read!
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 5:06 pm by Brenda Creech.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Laura Ungureanu
Based on the cover, this book looked like some urban fantasy. As I'm not a fan of that, I wouldn't have sampled the book based on the cover. However, the OBC and Amazon reviews convinced me that the book touches on some very deep subjects, so I wanted to see more. We follow Vander as he wanders through the world of the dead, guided by his only friend, Jack. The book has a fair share of terrifying scenes, like the one where the woman dies and there is blood everywhere. I didn't expect the book to be so supernatural-oriented. I thought that this was a side subject, and Vander's living conditions were the main things, but it seems that his gift is an important asset to the book. As I'm not interested in books with supernatural elements, I don't wish to read this whole book. I don't have anything to recommend for improvement, but this book is not for me. The editing is not bad, but I did spot a few inconsistencies. There is a missing comma in "You are either the hunter or the prey my young friend."
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 3:00 pm by Laura Ungureanu.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
AntonelaMaria
Judging only by the genre, I'm not interested in reading this book. Amazon reviews are complimentary, but they didn't impact my opinion. The murder mystery and supernatural elements from the blurb I find interesting. After reading the sample, I haven't changed my mind. I like the atmospheric writing. However, it is very dark and tragic, and I am not willing to read. It is way out of my comfort zone. There is an excellent Official OnlineBookClub review that was helpful. Sadly, it didn't change my mind, mostly because I am not the right audience for this book. I noticed an error on location 78 of the book. The Rea Sea is the name, and it should have been written with capital letters. "Parting like the red sea, agitated souls shifted away as Jack confidently pushed through them, making his way to Vander." I wouldn't change anything about the book.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 2:28 pm by AntonelaMaria.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Catherine Hsu
I absolutely love the cover art for this! This is also my favorite genre, and the blurb looks super interesting. Therefore, if I had not read the sample as part of the First Ten program, I would have read the book, undoubtedly. After reading the sample, I have not changed my mind. The book did a really amazing job with setting up Vander's place in the world, from the "threadbare" blanket to the pain he felt at the hand of his father Lenka. It was very harrowing to read but it made the characterization of Vander super intriguing. There was nothing I disliked as the book was also professionally edited. The official review on OnlineBookClub did not affect my decision, and I loved that the book seems to tackle relatable theme of domestic violence and abuse even though it is of the supernatural genre.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 2:26 pm by Catherine Hsu.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda
The cover gave me the impression that this was a fantasy book, so it didn't catch my attention because fantasy is not a genre I prefer. I like plots about serial killers and adding "supernatural premonitions" makes it even more interesting. I also think ending the blurb with a smart question is a surefire way to capture the readers. The book also has high ratings. Therefore, I would've bought it based on my first impressions.
The first ten pages hindered my desire to read the book. There are some poignant images that I appreciated (i.e. "Vander was grateful he had found this place of shelter for his soul while his body slept, because here the dead couldn’t harm him, even if they wished to.") However, most of the sample consists of descriptions that are quite abstract and there's not even a dialogue until position 81 (the 9th page according to my Kindle.) Once the dialogue starts, and Jack shows Vander his "what ifs" things start to pick up, but what really convinced me to read the whole book was the official OBC review, which explains in detail the many themes this book broaches. I didn't find editing mistakes. My main suggestion would be to make the cover a little less fantasy-like, since the topics the review mentions (domestic abuse, racism, etc.) are, unfortunately, realistic.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 1:26 pm by María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Shridhar Suryawanshi
If I had not actually sampled the first ten pages as part of this program, I would not have chosen to read or sample this book based on the cover, title, genre, blurb, editorial reviews, and customer reviews that I saw because I believe in "don't judge a book by it cover." I won't read this book because the text was too confusing for me. I think the author wanted to add suspense, but in this case, it got to the point where I could not figure out anything. It is exceptionally edited since I did not find any grammar errors. I liked the pace of the book, but I suggest with more straightforward with the reader. An OnlineBookClub review did not affect my decision.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 1:18 pm by Shridhar Suryawanshi.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kajori Sheryl Paul
'Making Monsters' is a novel written by AJ Parnell & Chuck Duncan. Vander had a hard life. He started visiting the netherworld through astral projection. Jack was the only spirit who was in his corner. It should have been "..the familiar voice emanated from the blackness.." instead of "..the familiar voice emanating from the blackness.." One round of editing would easily fix the errors. Nothing else is in need of an improvement. I have always been interested in Astral projection. So I would have read the book based on the cover, title, genre, blurb, editorial reviews, and customer review. I like the way the author depicted the spirits. I also liked the detailed OBC review. I have decided to give this book a try as I got engrossed in the plot.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 12:46 pm by Kajori Sheryl Paul.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Emy Katherine
I liked the cover, but I would not have read the book based on the title, genre, and OBC review. The book has no editorial reviews, but the intriguing Amazon blurb and the four positive customer reviews provide enough information to motivate the readers to buy the book. Sadly, as this book deals with heavy topics like child abuse and neglect, it is too intense for me to read. Because of that, reading the first ten pages did not convince me to read the rest of the book. The story follows the survival journey of Vander, a nine-year-old boy who lives in Cape Town, South Africa, and finds himself dealing with poverty, supernatural visions, an abusive father, a serial killer, and several corrupt police officers. I liked the story was told from multiple perspectives, and the writing style was quite descriptive. However, as I noticed some errors, I would suggest another round of editing. For example, it should be written "wisps of smoke" in the following sentence: "Waves of dark shadows began to flow from Vander’s spirit like whisps of smoke." (location 93 of 4893 • 2%) There should not be a comma after "promising" in the following sentence: "Up ahead are only bright, promising, possibilities." (location 122 of 4893 • 2%)
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 12:01 pm by Emy Katherine.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Chinazo Anozie
I was intrigued by the title, cover, description, and customer reviews. Although the official OnlineBookClub review did little to convince me to buy and read this book because it was vague, reading the first few pages did. I like thrillers, and the authors did a great job piquing my interest. I would like to know more about Vander’s powers and if Jack is really a friend or foe. This book also seems professionally edited because I did not notice any typographical errors. I do not think anything needs to be improved.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 11:29 am by Chinazo Anozie.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Timothy Rucinski
The cover seems a little too busy for me, and although I liked the title, I don't think I would have shown any interest in this book based on the cover alone. I feel the same about the Official OBC Review. I don't like books that focus on abuse; I avoid them at all costs. Since much of the story, apparently, features abusive relationships, based on the review I would have never chosen to read this. I read no other blurbs or reviews about the book. What I liked most was the beginning of Chapter Three where Vander wakes up. I like the way the author balanced the character's desire to be back in the horrible "blood-soaked" room with returning to his terrible reality. This juxtaposition provided simple yet deep insight into Vander. There wasn't anything that I disliked other than the subject matter. As a recommendation, I would suggest that the author have the book professionally edited. I don't believe it is as I found a number of grammatical and formatting errors. For example, at location 55 of the Amazon Kindle version, there is an unnecessary comma after the word "faces" in the following sentence: "Others would have fled the sea of dead, haunted faces, that even now, tracked his every move." At location 99, the comma after "spirits" should be changed to a semi-colon in the following sentence: "Hesitant, Vander looked at the swirling mass of restless spirits, they were somehow far more troubled than usual." There are a number of instances in which the initial indentation of a paragraph doesn't match other paragraphs as with the one at location 157: "So?" Erin growled.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 11:15 am by Timothy Rucinski.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kira Bonita Reece
From the official online book club review, this is a very emotional thriller that looks at social issues. I would choose to read the book based on the blurb and the editorial reviews. I'm not too fond of the cover. What I liked most about the sample I read were the descriptions. As Vander navigated this world, we get a vivid image of what he sees.
The sample was professionally edited but on page 4 the author wrote, "You’re not leaving, are you?” the familiar voice emanating from the blackness." I think either the word 'said' is missing or 'emanating' should be changed to 'emanated'. I don't think any improvements are needed but I don't think this is a book I want to read. I don't like supernatural stories.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 10:43 am by Kira Bonita Reece.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Rizki Pradana
Had I not actually sampled the first ten pages as part of this program, I would have chosen to read this book based on the cover, title, genre, blurb, customer reviews, and editorial reviews. Because the information that people share about a book could be enough to help a reader decide whether to buy a book or not.
I will buy the book to read the whole story because the writer is good at storytelling. Reading the first ten pages of the book changed my opinion from the original guess.
I liked this book because it gave me the vibe of a journey to a strange world through a strange ability. This book could benefit adults because this book had many examples of what adults shouldn't do. Furthermore, the one who would be suffering because of the bad adults is the children.
Based on what I read, the book seemed to be perfectly edited. I didn't notice any typos or errors. I don't think this book needs any improvement.
The book had an official OnlineBookClub review that I saw. But it didn't affect my decision.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 10:38 am by Rizki Pradana.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Amy Luman
The cover art is intriguing, as it shows a young boy, but I think I have a different idea of monsters than the author. The blurb and reviews that I read did not provide a sufficient explanation for me. When I read the title, I decided not to read this, and the first ten pages did not change my mind. I didn’t find any errors in this book, so I do believe that it was professionally edited. I liked Erin’s persistence in taking the assignment she believed in, even over Peter’s objections. Thrillers are usually interesting to me. The OBC review was not of any extra help. I won’t be reading this.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 10:23 am by Amy Luman.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Bertha Jackson
I find this book's cover and title intriguing, and I enjoy reading crime thrillers; therefore, I would have checked this book out. The blurb and customer reviews revealed that this book is about a serial killer, which I find interesting. There were no editorial reviews to influence me. The OnlineBookClub review had no impact on my wanting to read this book. The first ten pages contain short chapters that make the text flow faster, and the authors have done an excellent job moving between the chapters that focus on different characters. I am curious about what happened to Carolyn and whether Vander escaped his abusive home. I did find one small error at 6% Loc. 282: "Prescott laid the note upon [the] (delete) Erin's folder and pinned her with a look." The Kindle version does have some formatting issues as well. However, overall, the book appears to have been edited by a professional editor. I have no recommendations for the author. I have downloaded the free copy of the book and will eventually finish reading it.
First Ten review added on March 4, 2022, at 10:01 am by Bertha Jackson.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Total ~ 33%
Making Monsters earned a score of 33%.
In other words, out of the top-level reviewers who read at least the first 10 pages of this book, 33% plan to read the whole book.
IMPORTANT: Any score over 10% is considered very good. And any score above 0% is acceptable.
Over a million books are published each year. Any given person could not even read .0001% of the books out there. This means readers have to be very selective. Even taking the time to look over reviews and blurbs, let alone read samples, is more time than most readers can afford for most books. The First Ten is a powerful focus group that addresses those issues. It creates a helpful tool for authors, publishers, and other readers.
Go to main Bookshelves page for Making Monsters
