The First Ten Focus Group Feedback for Followers of Lightning
Because Followers of Lightning was Book of the Day, some of our most trusted members have carefully looked over the cover, the description, and other aspects of this book as a part of purchase-intent focus group. We then asked each participant in the focus group if they planned to buy and read the book, and why they planned to buy and read the book or not. Their answer to that question and reasons are displayed below. We call this awesome feature The First Ten Focus Group.
Keep in mind, the responses from the members are not reviews. This is purchase-intent focus group which means the participants are people who have NOT yet bought or read your book. A purchase-intent focus group is an important and extremely useful marketing tool for any product, not just books. For other products, you might walk on the street and show people an item in a package and poll them about whether they would buy if or $X or not. These kind of focus groups are one of the ways big marketing companies find the ideal price points for products and test the effectiveness of different packaging. The focus group can help you identify your market so you how to target ads of your book, and it can (but may not) provide you new useful info about your "packaging" (e.g. your book cover, your book synopsis on Amazon, etc.). The point of the focus group comments is to give you information from people who have not bought or read your book about why they plan to buy your book which will help you in marketing the book. These are not reviews or critiques of your book because they are not from people have read the book. This is a marketing tool, not reviews. The trick of book marketing and book advertising is that you have to convince people who have not read your book yet that your book is worth buying and reading. For marketing, it doesn't matter much if people love your book after reading it if you cannot convince potential buyers before they read it that they will love it.
IMPORTANT: Any score over 10% is considered very good. And any score above 0% is acceptable. This is because we only poll about 20 or so readers, and all readers have to say "no" to almost all books. Over a million books are published each year. Even a very active reader cannot come close to even reading 1% of books out there.
This is also why publishing books is such a tough industry.
Rodel Barnachea
Reading the book's official OBC review and Amazon page gave me plenty of info and insights about the story. I found myself somewhat drawn into the premise: I wanted to know how the protagonist will turn his life around. However, the title also contains an overwhelming amount of shortcomings. The book's disorganized plot structure made me realize that trying to immerse myself in the story could be difficult. I don't like how some build-up of the events "completely fall flat." To top it all, the book does not seem professionally edited because of the myriad of grammatical errors it contains. For these reasons, I wouldn't purchase the book.
After I sampled the book, my decision remains unchanged. I wouldn't purchase the book for similar reasons I stated in the first paragraph. My favorite part of the book is its descriptions. I like how the author focused on those descriptions and how vivid they are. I don't believe the book is professionally edited because I noted many errors in the sample; most of these errors are missing punctuation marks after introductory words/phrases/clauses. An example is that the sentence "Five days and nights[,] we were out there..." is missing a comma after its introductory phrase. Apart from fixing those mistakes, I have nothing else to suggest to the author.
First Ten review added on November 10, 2020, at 4:59 am by Rodel Barnachea.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
evraealtana
I was initially attracted to the ethical dilemma as laid out by the official OBC reviewer, so I might have checked out the book based on that, even though the cover is nondescript. The author's greatest strength, insofar as I can tell at this early stage, lies in description. The rugged, harsh landscape felt close enough that I could touch it, and I could almost see the ancient paintings as he described the different pigments used and mused on the exact makeup of the prehistoric paints. I also loved the description of Haldane, particularly the phrase describing how "his identification with [the Bushmen's] lowliness pardoned his transgressions"; to me, that description makes him much more relatable than just physical description would have been, since I know people who seem to be exactly like that and can now envision his entire personality. Ultimately, although I didn't dislike anything in the first ten pages, I'm just not "hooked" on anything to the point that I would invest time and energy continuing to read. It started well and I wouldn't be opposed to reading it, but it isn't at the top of my list because I'm not invested in the characters or events yet. I don't really even have a sense of what will happen beyond the medicinal plant described in the official review. I noted two errors in the first ten pages: homophone confusion in "some mysterious element...we'd let slip passed" (past); and a missing comma in "Until it happened that is" (comma needed after "happened").
First Ten review added on November 10, 2020, at 4:59 am by evraealtana.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Alice Heritage
Although I was intrigued by the cover image and references to the South African landscape, I probably wouldn't have sampled this book without the programme as its topics don't represent my current reading preference. After reading the sample, however, I won't buy this today (I could not get a free copy without Kindle Unlimited), because the meandering of the narrative was confusing. I noticed one spelling error: "we'd let slip passed" should read "we'd let slip past". I liked the details, for example, the fact that the mountaintop had once been on the bottom of an ocean was fascinating to contemplate. I also liked the narrator's wisdom, for example, in noting that brokenness is not weakness but provides opportunity. The OBC review was insightful and confirmed that there are problems with the structure and organization of the narrative. I think these aspects need to be improved to give more cohesion and clarity to some interesting material.
First Ten review added on November 10, 2020, at 4:22 am by Alice Heritage.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
xsquare
The cover and title of this book are rather bland – there’s nothing outstanding that would have caught my attention. I don’t think I would have sampled this book had it not been part of the First Ten program, and after reading the official OBC review, I was even more hesitant to sample the book owing to its very poor rating. However, I was surprised to find that the book was rather interesting – the author has a strange writing style that might not be to everyone’s taste, but it was enough to keep me hooked. However, I wish that some of the terms used were explained in the book – for example, ‘fynbos’ is a term specific to the areas in the Western and Eastern Cape of South Africa, but I only discovered this through my own research. I did see some spacing issues, as well as a typo: ‘“Let’s think it through”. He scanned the rock face, then the skyline.’, where the first full stop should have been before the closing quotation mark. Ultimately, the typos and the fact that I had to keep stopping to check out words from the dictionary are the factors that are stopping me from reading the rest of the book.
First Ten review added on November 10, 2020, at 3:37 am by xsquare.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
AvidBibliophile
The cover art leaves much to the imagination. With limited print information and a rocky nature scene, it's hard to predict what genre this title fits into. The Amazon product description entices prospective readers with mentions of a thieving bio-prospector with lucrative sights set on a group of medicinal plants in South Africa. Profit-driven schemes have unfairly affected many cultures and indigenous societies throughout the course of history, and this tale clearly shines a light on one example of that. The story begins with an explorative search for cave drawings, and I enjoyed all the geographically descriptive terminology that soon followed. I appreciated statements like "It was easy to conjure weird imaginings in that high altitude atmosphere." At Location 30/2%, there is a typographical spacing error between sentences. There is a homophone error at Location 260/15% where "we'd let slip [passed]" should say (past). Then there is another spacing error at Location 210/12%, but the biggest problem is that the "Locations" and percentages don't even progress sequentially with each passing page. The official OBC review recommends this book to no one, yet the nine additional OBC reviews award this title a perfect score. The nine currently posted Amazon user ratings are primarily positive, but some opinionated variation is present there as well. Since the chaotic reviews concern me, I think I will pass on this ethnobotany exploration. For readers familiar with African terminology, and for those who are passionate about ways we can protect cultural heritage, this one seems like it might have potential!
First Ten review added on November 10, 2020, at 3:20 am by AvidBibliophile.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sonya Nicolaidis
Upon reading the OBC reviewer’s opinion of this book, I wasn’t inspired to read it at all. It sounded like a good idea but rather drab in it’s delivery. This, coupled with an uninteresting cover, would have prevented me from picking up this book. However, upon reading the first ten, I was pleasantly surprised. The story began well, captured my interest, and proceeded to draw me further into the story. I especially like the use of familiar South African terms, having come from there myself. There was nothing I didn’t like about this sample, and saw only a couple of formatting and punctuation errors, such as the missing comma after “As a sculptor” on the first page. Otherwise, I think this book was professionally edited. I really like it, although I would suggest a rethink on the cover design and title font to make it more appealing. It is not a book in my preferred genre, so I wouldn’t buy it and read it, but I think this book will do well.
First Ten review added on November 10, 2020, at 2:57 am by Sonya Nicolaidis.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Annelore Trujillo
I would not have sampled this book based on the genre, blurb, OBC review, cover and title. The official reviewer gave the book only one star. I don’t read books with low ratings by the review team. After reading the first ten pages, I won’t be finishing this book. I liked the story a little bit. The talk of the Bushmen and the paint they used to make their drawings was kind of interesting. I’d be interested in knowing what they put in the paint to make it last so long. However, I thought this background pulled attention away from the story. I didn’t like that the chapters didn’t have any type of heading. Also, the editing needs to be improved; the book did not seem to be professionally edited. For example in “me.Neither” there should be a space after the period, and a semicolon was incorrectly used at the beginning of the first chapter. I don’t read books that aren’t professionally edited.
First Ten review added on November 10, 2020, at 12:57 am by Annelore Trujillo.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kajori Sheryl Paul
'Followers of Lightning' is written by Charles Bentley. The narrator and Haldane, a sculptor, visit Cederberg to view the elusive rock arts. These were works of the Bushmen, also known as Sans. They were from the pre-historic times. The writing style is very detailed. We get a feel of the atmosphere. I like this about the book. I found some errors. There should have been a space before “Neither" in “Haldane invited me.Neither of us harboured ambitions as mountaineers.” I do not think that it is professionally edited. The title is very intriguing. The cover was great. The OBC review and the Amazon reviews are pretty appreciative. There is nothing that can be improved. I will read this book as I am a history buff. I would like to know about the pre-historic paintings.
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 5:39 pm by Kajori Sheryl Paul.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Diana Lowery
The title of the book made me think that it was going to be about storm chasers. The picture looked like it was a rock formation in the desert. I would not have chosen to read this book if it were not part of the first ten program. The blurb mentioned that it was about finding a magical plant which did not interest me. The first ten pages were somewhat boring and full of errors. The first error was at location 30. There is a space missing after the period. "Haldane invited me.[ ]Neither ..." The review convinced me to not finish reading the book because it was rated one out of four stars. There was nothing about the book that I liked. I think that the author should have the book edited.
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 3:40 pm by Diana Lowery.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Vickie Noel
I wouldn't have read this book outside the program based on its book cover. I can't figure out what it signifies. The title sounds interesting, though. My opinion didn't change after sampling the first ten pages. First, the descriptions were endless, not properly balanced with adequate dialogue. I had a hard time understanding the information passed across because it's convoluted. Next, the lack of professional editing hampered my reading experience. There were several punctuation errors like comma omissions and poorly structured sentences. For example, there should be space between "Haldane invited me" and "Neither of us harboured ambitions..." I can't identify any aspect that I liked the most in this read. My recommendation is for the book to be thoroughly re-edited by an eagle-eyed editor, especially concerning sentence structure and correct punctuation. I saw an OBC review, but it didn't influence my decision.
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 3:39 pm by Vickie Noel.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Elvis Best
Considering the title, I would not have read the book, as it did not pique my interest. Further, after reading the sample pages, I would not read this book because I couldn't connect with the storyline. I am also not interested in the culture aspect of the book. Furthermore, I believe the book is professionally edited, although I found some minor errors in the sample pages. In the following example, for instance, there was a missing space after the word 'me': "Haldane invited me.Neither of..." (Location 36.) The one thing I liked most was the sense of intrigue and mystery in the author's writing. I do not have any suggestions for improvement. Lastly, I read an Official OnlineBookClub review that was well written.
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 3:16 pm by Elvis Best.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Jorge Leon Salazar
The story is recounted from the first-person perspective from the point of view of the main character whose name has yet been unrevealed. In the beginning, the book counts when a character, Haldane invited the protagonist to climb a mountain with the intention of searching for rock art. Haldane was seeking a specific site where the paintings were hidden from vandalism. He was obsessed with the Khoisan Life and had studied them. Plus, he suffered from a fear of heights.
The story is interesting and provides historical knowledge of the paintings and rock art, like the composition of pigments and the age of some. The fact that Haldane did not dare to ascend high because of his fear gives the plot an expectation. The same way when the protagonist is left alone in the mountain with the dangerous fog. The story is narrated in an entertaining way. However, the predominant themes of rock art, the ascent of the mountain, and medicinal plants did not completely capture me.
The official review mentions several aspects that need to be corrected in the book. In the first ten pages, the edition seems appropriate. However, some details are worth mentioning like that there are no chapter names or titles to indicate the beginning of one. Also, at location 82, in the expression "rock- hewn horses", it appears to be a wrong white space before 'hewn'. The cover is striking and shows a rock formation that is associated with the adventure of climbing to find hidden paintings on the mountain. In conclusion, I think I will not read the rest of the book.
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 12:54 pm by Jorge Leon Salazar.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Iva Stoyanova
I wouldn’t have chosen to read or sample this book if I wasn’t part of this program. I wasn’t interested in the cover, the title, and the genre of the book. The official review was interesting, and I gained a good idea of the story. It intrigued me a bit, however, it wasn’t enough to make me want to read the book. I will not buy and read the whole book. The story is quite interesting, but it didn’t catch my attention that much. I believe this book will not be an enjoyable read for me. I did not change my opinion after reading the first ten pages. Moreover, I was a bit bored while reading them.
I think the book is relatively well edited. However, I noticed the omission of commas. For example, the first instance is in the very beginning; location 30, third paragraph: “As a sculptor Haldane had come under the mysterious influence of San rock art and made a study..”. Based on my opinion, in this example, there are missing two commas: the first one after the word sculptor, and the second one after the word art. Also, I noticed the use of long sentences, which is a bit unpleasant. I would suggest another round of editing, mainly for punctuation and writing shorter sentences. I liked the thorough descriptions the author offers the reader. It is easier for the reader to imagine the situation. I am certain the story is very interesting. Many readers will find it very enjoyable.
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 11:28 am by Iva Stoyanova.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sanju Lali
Nothing was evident to me from the cover and the title what the book is about because "Followers of Lightning" meant many things to me. I read the official review of this book because I was curious to know about the contents of this book. The official review was helpful enough to let me know that this book takes the readers on a hike through the rocky mountains in search of rock art and indigenous medicinal plants in South Africa. This idea motivated me to sample the book. After reading the first ten pages, I found that this book was not professionally edited because I found numerous grammatical errors in it. For example, the sentence "You could say the fate of the Khoisan had become an obsession with him. A people at the gate.", which could have been, "You could say that the fate of the Khoisan, the people at the gate, had become an obsession with him.". The thing l liked the most in this book is the premise of the story where the protagonist takes a hiking trip to rocky mountains looking for rock art and indigenous medicinal plants. I was curious to learn more about rock art and medicinal plants. Sadly, the number of errors in writing pushed me off from reading this book completely. My suggestion to the author would be to go for a round of professional editing and make the book easier to read. Noting all these aspects of the book, I decided not to purchase and read this book today but wait until the author could help by addressing my suggestion so that I could read the book easily.
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 9:50 am by Sanju Lali.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
AnnOgochukwu
From the first glance, I found neither the title nor cover page of this book interesting or intriguing, and the genre, which is labeled 'other fiction', was too vague to help matters. Also, the OBC official review, which gave this book a very low rating, further discouraged my already-lacking interest. And if it weren't for this program, I would have stopped pursuing this book at this point.
Reading a sample of this book has neither helped my initial lack of interest nor changed my decision to pass on this book. Besides my initial disinterest, the reason for this decision is that I just couldn't flow with the story. Perhaps because the subject matter and premise of this book are unfamiliar to me, or because the story wasn't coherent enough, or because of both reasons.
While I sadly cannot state a particular thing that I liked about this book, I noticed that the book was lacking proper editing. Ideas were all jumbled up, and the flow of the stream of consciousness wasn't smooth. I also noticed missing commas, and some typographical errors, for instance, there is a 'missing space' in the first line of the second paragraph, "Haldane invited me.Neither of us harboured ambitions as mountaineers."
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 9:50 am by AnnOgochukwu.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sou Hi
The cover looks nice, but it's not matching very well with the title. The official review does not give it a good rating, but the summary seems interesting and refreshing, so I opt for the sample. The book begins with the main character and his companion, Haldane, in South Africa. They are climbing the Cederberg, looking for a hidden site of rock arts recently discovered.
I like the author's narrative. While the sample does not contain many dialogues, the main character's words feel nice and peaceful. It reminds me of a pilgrimage through the isolated mountainous area, where hardly any soul can be spotted. The editing is fine, too. However, the transition between the scenes is a bit inconsistent and abrupt. For example, the men were looking for rock arts when the narrator's trapped in the overhangs. He then recalls the past where he's a botanist being sent out to somewhere. I was a bit puzzled by this outcome, as the two events hardly have any connection. Maybe I will need more of the content to comprehend. Since this seems like a nice story, I want to read on. I will buy this book.
Error example: Haldane invited me.Neither of us harboured... -> Should be [me. Neither]
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 8:43 am by Sou Hi.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Maria Esposito
I knew I would not buy this book before I read its sample. Firstly, the book is advertised as free, but it is not in my location (Italy). While I like the title and cover design, and I am intrigued by the blurb, the reading age is marked between 13 and 18, and I am older than that. The book has one customer review on Amazon, but this had no impact on my decision. The story begins as the main character and his friend, Haldane, set out on a climbing journey, hunting for rock paintings. The beginning of this book describe their adventurous journey of climbing dangerous rocks and surviving below-zero temperatures. I liked that the text was descriptive about the scenery and the type of rocks the characters are climbing, yet the descriptions were not boring. There was nothing about the book I disliked: it simply seems like it is targeted to a younger audience, and I am not fond of the adventure genre. There is a missing space after the period in the first sentence of the second paragraph: "Haldane invited me.Neither of us..." This makes me think that the book might not have been professionally edited. The book has an official review on OBC.org, but it had no impact on my decision.
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 5:12 am by Maria Esposito.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Hazel Arnaiz
I will not sample the book outside the program. The cover was appealing but gave the impression that it was travel or outdoor adventure story. The title reminded me of experiments or studies on lightning. Looking at the cover and title together did not provide an idea about the story. The blurb was short but was enough to describe the contents of the book. However, I am not very keen on botany and pharmaceuticals. Also, customer reviews were a mix of enthusiastic and critical feedback. Sampling the first ten pages did not change my mind. I appreciated learning the native words and botanical terminologies. But I had to look up the definitions of the unfamiliar terms to have a clearer understanding of the story. It disrupted the flow of reading. It would have been helpful if there was a reference explaining the unfamiliar or technical terms. The pace of the story was slow. As for editing, I noticed some errors in punctuation and spacing. Here is an example from location 30. “Haldane invited me.[ ]Neither of us harboured ambitions as mountaineers.” There should be a space between the period and the word "Neither." I have no other suggestions aside from anything mentioned above. There was an Official OnlineBookClub review and several from volunteers. They were equally informative but gave ratings from the extreme ends. It piqued my curiosity and made me reconsider to finish reading the book eventually. But for now, I will pass.
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 3:49 am by Hazel Arnaiz.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Shrabastee Chakraborty
From the cover or the title, I was not sure what this book is about. The blurb sounded interesting enough, but the official OBC review rates this 1 star. Based on this, I wouldn't have read the book. I found 3 errors in the first ten pages.
Location 30: There should be a space after the period in the first sentence of the second paragraph.
Location 40: "slip passed" should be "slip past"
Location 45: there should be a comma after "until that happened"
The protagonist describes his journey to Northern Cedeberg with a friend named Haldane. The latter adapted the ways of the Khoisan bushmen and was searching for some past artifact. The pages describe their camping days. Although the premise seemed promising, I did find technical issues the reviewer mentioned. This is one area that could be improved. Along with that, the book read like a travelogue, without much hint to the actual storyline. I would have liked it if the pace were faster. Based on these, I decided not to read the book.
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 3:11 am by Shrabastee Chakraborty.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Ari Martinez
I would not have sampled this book if it wasn't for this program. The cover and the title simply did not seem interesting to me, and the Official OnlineBookClub review gave it 1 star, which confirmed my original guess of not wanting to sample it. After reading the first ten pages, I will not be reading the rest of the book because the story was not engaging enough for me - it was a very simple beginning with not much action, suspense, or emotion. To improve the book, personally, I would have begun with more action or suspense in order to draw the reader into the story. Another option would be to begin with more background on the narrator to make the reader care about him. From what I read, I liked the most the imagery and wording used by the author. I was able to imagine what the narrator was describing, and at times, it felt like he was writing his thoughts as they were happening which was nice. In the second paragraph of the book, the author forgot to put a space after a period mark (Location 30: "Haldane invited me.Neither of us harboured..."). Even though the book does not appear to be edited well, I found less errors than I thought I would based on the official OnlineBookClub review.
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 1:53 am by Ari Martinez.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Mutai Marshal
The narrator had been invited by Haldane on an expedition. Their sole intention was to find rock arts and see how high the paintings occurred. During the adventure, they interacted with Khoisan culture. The language used by the author is fathomable. It is narrated from the first-person perspective. I loved most the vivid descriptions deployed. I could picture how lonely the terrain they traversed was. I would have read this book without sampling based on its hypnotic book title and cover page. It hinted on an exploration venture, which is a thrilling theme for me. I will buy this book since I want to nudge my understanding about South Africa and its environs. It was not edited professionally as I noticed punctuation errors (such as missing space after a full stop, before the word 'Neither' in location 30 of 1755). Therefore, I recommend a round of professional editing for this book. The review by OBC also persuaded me to check out this book.
First Ten review added on November 9, 2020, at 1:13 am by Mutai Marshal.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Verna Coy
Had I not sampled this book through the First Ten program, I would have picked it up initially because the title sounds interesting.
For this reason, I intend to read the whole book.
Reading the first ten pages was interesting, and I enjoyed the descriptive style of writing.
Based on what I read, the book did not seem professionally edited
I did notice some errors in the first ten pages. These ranged from no space between sentences, such as at location 30 of 1755,“Haldane invited me.[ ]Neither of us harboured ambitions as mountaineers.” and at location 30 of 1755 I saw a missing comma, “Even now[,] paintings are still being discovered in remote caves and inaccessible overhangs.”
What I liked most about what I read is the way the reader feels like they are in Africa when they begin reading.
I know that readers who appreciate natural lifestyle and cultural studies will enjoy this book.
As far as improvements, a round of proofreading for grammatical, and punctuation erros would be good.
I did read the Official Online Book Club review and found it insightful. It didn’t affect my views of the book.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 11:50 pm by Verna Coy.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Kaitlyn Canedy
I likely wouldn't have read the sample of Followers of Lightning if it hadn't been the book of the day through the OnlineBookClub. The plot didn't interest me too much, and even after reading the sample, I decided that I still did not want to read it. I did enjoy the protagonist being a botanist; this was quite interesting. However, there were quite a few grammatical errors in this book. The first instance is after the first sentence, as there is no space after it to separate it from the next sentence. If there are any improvements that need to be done, I think having another round of editing would help. The official OnlineBookClub review did not rate the book too well, and based on my own research, it is justified. I am not sure if I can recommend the book to anyone right now, as the sample bored me quite a bit.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 11:45 pm by Kaitlyn Canedy.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Mbrooks2518
The summary of this book didn't catch my interest, so I would not have sampled it without The First Ten. The writing had a very stilted flow and odd phrasing instead of being a smooth and easy read. According to the official review, the entire book has that problem and others, so I am not going to read the rest of it. I also found multiple editing mistakes. One of them is on page one and says, "Haldane invited me.Neither of us harboured ambitions as mountaineers."
The only good thing I noticed and liked was that there were some moments of nice descriptions, like when the narrator describes the weather being still and cold, and that he felt a sense of unreality.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 10:15 pm by Mbrooks2518.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Laura Lee
The Amazon blurb intrigued me so much, that I was surprised at the low rating the book review gave the book. After sampling the first few pages, though, I can understand why. This book has not been professionally edited. I've seen worse before; these errors tend to be minor: missing commas, missing quotation marks, two spaces between words in the same sentence, no space between a period and the start of the next sentence, missplaced period, etc. That said, the sheer number of them is distracting.
Aside from the editing issues, there was nothing in particular I disliked. What I did like was the easy, conversational tone of the first person narration. Also, the conversation I thought was exceptionally well-done. Some writers really struggle to have realistic-sounding dialogue, but I thought this author achieved that very well.
Ultimately, I decided not to read the book. While I find it interesting and was willing to give it a try despite the poor book review, the sheer number of typos is too distracting. I won't be finishing reading the book. Once it has been professionally edited, though, I'd be interested in giving it another try as, the Amazon blurb and the summary given in the book review both interested me.
Oh, I guess there is one thing that could be improved: a more interesting cover. Without reading the blurb or the plot summary, based on the cover alone, I wouldn't not choose to read the book. The blurb plus the book review's summary, though, is sufficient to make me want to give it a try if the author gets it professionally edited.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 9:54 pm by Laura Lee.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Jsovermyer
I like the picture on the cover, and the title is also appealing. I can't tell what kind of book this is by the cover, so I would not buy it from the cover alone. The official reviewer didn't like this book at all, but I disagree and found the pages I read very interesting. This novel, based on a true story, follows a botanist searching for medicinal plants in South Africa. This story has a lot of potential as the main character faces a moral dilemma. I liked the exciting part where the narrator climbed the steep cliff wall, at times almost falling. My least favorite thing about the book so far is that it is mostly narration with little dialogue. I think it could be improved by telling more of the story through dialogue. I found a grammatical error at location 32 where it has "Haldane invited me.Neither" and needs a space after the period. However, this may be a printing problem. I liked what I read so far and want to find out if the narrator survives after the fog traps him on top of the mountain. I plan to finish this book to find out.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 9:01 pm by Jsovermyer.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Jennifer Donovan Smith
I was not drawn in by the cover or the title, so I would not have sampled it on my own. I appreciated the honest official OBC review. I was surprised to see that every volunteer review rated this book 4 out of 4 stars when the official reviewer had found so many problems and errors in the book. I decided to read the first ten pages to see for myself if the book had been revised since the official review was published, which would explain the very different volunteer reviews.
Unfortunately, I found numerous errors beginning with the first page. I am disappointed in all of the volunteer reviewers for not catching the multitude of errors.
For example, there is a space missing in "Haldane invited [me.Neither] of us..." (Loc. 32). Also, the author made the mistake of using a homophone of "past" in the sentence, "...yet something about them, some mysterious element, essential to our own happiness, we'd let slip [passed]..." (Loc. 44). There are also numerous errors with commas, just as the official reviewer had pointed out. This book has not been edited.
I liked the author's voice in the narrative, but many vague sentences (that tended to conclude paragraphs) left me confused. I'm not sure if this was done on purpose, but it was frustrating for me as a reader.
Because this book has not been edited and because I was not gripped by the sample pages, I will not continue reading. I strongly recommend that the author find a competent editor to revise not only the grammar and punctuation but also the problems brought up by the official reviewer.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 8:51 pm by Jennifer Donovan Smith.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
MsH2k
The location on the cover seemed like an interesting place to visit. If I were not part of this program, I would not have sampled this book based on the blurb.
The writing was vivid but choppy. It did not flow well, but I could get a clear picture in my mind of the scenery. The story jumped right in with Haldane and the narrator hiking. I don’t know much about the plot, but I will finish this book because I am intrigued by the area and the San people. I was captivated by the scenery in the sample pages.
I found two grammatical errors in the pages I sampled.
At location 30, there is a space missing after the end punctuation: “Haldane invited me.Neither of us harboured ambitions”
At loc 40, a comma is missing after [San]: “the Bushmen (San as some people call them)”
The featured OnlineBookClub review was thorough and honest. The reviewer recommended another round of editing, both for punctuation and style. The review was written in 2018, and the book does not appear to have had any subsequent editions, so the deficiencies the reviewer noted would still remain. The featured review gave me an idea of what to expect, but it had no bearing on my decision to finish this book. I consider myself forewarned. I am reading this book to get a feel for the San people, and if the rest of the story bogs me down, I will just skim it. The Amazon ratings also did not influence my decision. I do not have any suggestions for improvement. The writing is a bit choppy, but it has not been a distraction for me yet.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 8:44 pm by MsH2k.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Gabrielle Sigaki
Followers of Lightning by Charles Bentley is an adventure fiction book based on true events. If I didn't sample it, I would read it because of the premise of pharmaceuticals, the act of stealing discoveries from other people or nations, and the complexities of dealing with personal issues. This book has an Official OnlineBookClub review that I saw. After sampling it, I changed my mind, and I won't read the entire novel since its errors disturbed my reading. The book doesn't seem professionally edited, for example, in the first page, I found the lack of spacing in "Haldane invited me.Neither of us harboured ambitions." My favorite aspect of the sample was the unique premise the author chose to narrate. However, this book could do with another round of editing to remove typos and errors.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 8:01 pm by Gabrielle Sigaki.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Chelsy Scherba
The author is very good at setting the scene. I could really picture the location in Africa and the concerns Haldane had over the ancient rock art being defaced by people scratching away the color or throwing liquid on it. I like that the story centers on finding an indigenous plant with useful properties that will require the characters to decide if money is more important than morality. I’m interested in discovering more about the San and how they use their surroundings. The review mentioned the book isn’t well-edited, but I really only saw a missing space error in the first chapter ( ...me.Neither...) and incorrect punctuation: “...though”. Otherwise, the book is well-written. I don’t really read a lot of fiction so it’s unlikely I would have read/discovered this book outside of the program. The cover is interesting as is the title, and, since I got a free copy, I’ll read the rest.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 7:43 pm by Chelsy Scherba.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Wy_Bertram
I individually would have chosen to sample this book. The cover is a bit underwhelming and could be much better, but the plot sounded fascinating.
No, I will not be reading the entire book. Much of the first ten pages was occupied with exposition. I needed a scene. There wasn't enough material in the sample to convince me of this book.
I found a few punctuation errors in the sample. [Haldane invited me.Neither] - first page.
I liked the author's writing most. Given the outward presentation, I was expecting something amateurish, but I was pleasantly surprised by the penmanship. For improvements, I would suggest a stronger hook, earlier in the story.
The official review on the website has this book at 1 out of 4 stars.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 7:29 pm by Wy_Bertram.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Brenda Creech
This is not a book that would have captured my attention based on the cover and title alone. After I read the official review, I was convinced I did not want to read the rest of the book. One of the main reasons I do not care to finish reading this book is the multiple errors the reviewer mentioned and the fact that I found errors in the first and second paragraphs while reading the first ten pages. The first sentence of the first chapter needs a correction. It reads, "Funny how things happen, as if round the next corner, it’s waiting." There should not be a comma after 'happen.' The errors continue throughout the first ten pages. It would greatly improve the book to have professional editing done as the errors affect the pleasure of reading the book. It would also be helpful to have chapter names or numbers at the beginning of each chapter.
I liked best in the portion I read when the protagonist and Kaldane were coming back down the mountain after spending three days and nights looking for plants and rock art and ran into a cliff barrier. The protagonist climbs the cliff, gets caught in fog, and has to spend the night in freezing weather without food, water, or anything to cover up with. The book has a lot of potential with some professional editing. If not for the errors distracting me I would have given this book a try; however, I will pass and not read it at this time due to the error issues.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 3:14 pm by Brenda Creech.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kirsi Cultrera
The cover, the title, and the available blurb left me pretty much clueless. I had no idea what this book was about, and the information available was not intriguing enough to draw my attention. If it wasn't for this program, I would have probably passed this book. Reading the sample pages still left me confused and wondering what this book was about, and only reading the available Official OnlineBookClub review finally provided the answers. Unfortunately, the beginning of this book was not catchy enough to glue me into my seat and desire to read further. I also had an issue with the writing style of the author. I could not quite figure out what was the matter, but somehow the story was not proceeding smoothly. I did not spot any crucial editing mistakes. For example, there was one missing space between the sentences on the first page. ”Haldane invited me.Neither of us…”. However, for some reason, I felt doubtful about the level of professionalism in editing this book. To conclude, Followers of Lightning did not seem like an extraordinarily good book. Since there are many extraordinary stories out there, I am going to pass this one.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 2:53 pm by Kirsi Cultrera.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Juliana_Isabella
I wouldn't have chosen this book because I don't usually read non-fiction. The review I read made me believe I wouldn't enjoy the book because it pointed out the many errors in the text and said that the plot was disorganized. I found an error on the first page. The space after a period appeared to be missing ("Haldane invited me.Neither of us harbored ambitions as mountaineers."). Unfortunately, this error was not the only issue in the section I read, as the author's writing style made it difficult to follow the story. His choppy sentences made each phrase feel disconnected, so I won't be finishing the book.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 2:38 pm by Juliana_Isabella.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda
The cover of the book suggested an exotic adventure, in my opinion. And I wasn't that wrong with this idea. The blurb is too succinct for me to make a decision. I don't know if this is a book focused on adventure, on botany, or perhaps a reflection about cultural appropriation. The mixed ratings and reviews didn't help, so I wouldn't have chosen to read the book based just on my first impressions.
I have nothing nice to say about the first ten pages. The idea is interesting, but the narration feels chopped and disorganized. For example, the author doesn't take a second to explain who the Bushman people are. That doesn't justify my ignorance, but I can bet a lot of his English-reading audience don't know it either. I had no idea who was narrating, either. And later on, when I was excited about their first encounter with a human, the author left me hanging and started talking about the vandalism of the ancient paintings. That was interesting, I have to admit it, but it also cut the reading flow completely. I found a couple of editing mistakes. The first one on position 22 where a verb is missing or, perhaps, this should be written in independent sentences: "The balancing act of ensuring a difficult ride like this is portrayed in a manner easy yet fulfilling, makes for satisfying reading." In this same quote, there are a couple of extra blank spaces. Further on, on position 36, where it says "...Khoisan had become an obsession with him." I'm quite sure the correct preposition there is "for" instead of "with" unless both the fate of the Khoisan and Haldane were obsessed together.
I would suggest making the blurb clearer so the reader can now, at least the genre. The book needs a thorough proofreading revision, and I would suggest to the author to consider his audience when deciding the order of the narrative. The official review discouraged me even more, if possible, from reading this book.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 1:30 pm by María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Laura Ungureanu
Based on its appearance, I didn't know what to think of this book. I really couldn't decide if it was something I would like or not. Then I read the OBC review, which at first made me think this was an amazing book, only to later convince me that it has some significant problems. I still wanted to see for myself, as a book about culture and exploration is something I find interesting. However, I was let down by it. The beginning confused me a lot. The author doesn't explain what is happening, or rather he jumps from subject to subject, causing me to lose focus. Am I supposed to know anything about San, Khoisan, and Bushmen before reading this book? I would've liked it if the author explained these concepts from the start. There were many grammar errors. The first could've been solved by adding a space between these two sentences: "Haldane invited me.Neither of us harboured ambitions as mountaineers." Then there are some forgotten commas, like in "As a sculptor Haldane had come under the mysterious influence of San rock art". The book doesn't inspire trust, so I'm not going to find myself reading it any further.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 1:25 pm by Laura Ungureanu.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Emy Katherine
The story follows the adventure journey of a British botanist as he travels to South Africa to search for medicinal plants. Things take an unexpected turn when he discovers a mysterious medicinal plant that belongs to the African indigenous people known as the Bushmen (San people). As I am not interested in reading adventure stories, I would not have read the book without The First Ten program. Neither the OBC review nor the first ten pages convinced me to read the rest of the book. Even though I enjoyed the author's descriptive writing style and appreciated that the first ten pages were filled with suspense, I did not feel invested in the story. Plus, the book had editing and formatting issues. I found many punctuation errors and a lack of spacing between words that disrupted the flow of the story. For example, there is a missing space between the following two sentences: "Haldane invited me.Neither of us harboured ambitions as mountaineers." (location 30 of 1755 • 2%) There should not be a comma after "fynbos" in the following sentence: "I had never camped in fynbos, and found it difficult coming to terms with the harshness of it all..." (location 68 of 1755 • 4%) There should be a comma after "glimpse" in the following sentence: "When I looked back for a last glimpse it was a tiny white speck far below." (location 40 of 1755 • 2%) Other than another round of editing, I honestly found nothing that needed to be improved.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 12:54 pm by Emy Katherine.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sarah_Khan
The cover and title of this book are average. I would not have picked this up without the First Ten program because the cover made me think this was a non-fiction book. I do not think this book was professionally edited. The first sentence was confusing and there was also a missing space in the second paragraph (Haldane invited me.Neither of us harboured ambitions as mountaineers). I have to admit I was intrigued by the idea that the caves could have messages and were time capsules. The official OBC review gave this book only one star out of four. The reviewer also mentioned that there were numerous editing issues and issues with the plot. I think it is clear that this book needs some polishing-up. Therefore, I will not be reading the rest. My only suggestion for the author would be another round of editing.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 12:26 pm by Sarah_Khan.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Odette Chace
I love the title and was hoping this would be a book either about descendants of Zeus who have supernatural abilities or about storm chasing. When I saw the cover, I was disappointed and realized the book would not be about either of those things. The cover is not very interesting. The synopsis on Amazon outlines an interesting moral dilemma but there's only two ways it could end. Either the main character sells out and terrible things happen or the main character is selfless and has to get a different job. I am not interested in reading about the aftermath either way. The official Online Book Club gave the work a rating of 1 out of 4 stars and stated that the book does not read like it's ready for publication. I wasn't interested in the book before and the review was just the icing on the cake. "The balancing act of ensuring a difficult ride like this is portrayed in a manner easy yet fulfilling, [which] makes for satisfying reading" (loc. 16). I noticed several errors in the first ten pages and don't believe the work was professionally edited. While I enjoyed the author's style of describing things, the plot doesn't interest me. While I found the bio-prospector's struggle to find a job relatable, it didn't make for compelling reading. I don't plan to finish the book.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 12:05 pm by Odette Chace.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Theresa Moffitt
I like the cover art for this book it caught my attention right away, but the images and the title don’t tell me what the book is about. For that reason, I would not have picked this book up based on the cover alone. The Online Book Club review didn’t give this book a very high rating and, among other issues, said that the book was not well edited. This made me want to finish reading the book less. I didn’t read an additional customer review. There were several errors in the first ten pages. For example on the first page, “Haldane invited me.Neither”. There should be space after the period. So, I don’t believe the book was professionally edited. The only area I thought the author could improve upon was additional editing. I wasn’t drawn into the story enough to finish reading this book, so I will not finish reading it. The first ten pages sounded like it might be an interesting story. The narrator of the story was describing mountain climbing in Cape Town. It might be an interesting story, but with the large amount of errors and other issues outlined by the OBC review, I don’t think I would enjoy finishing this book.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 11:58 am by Theresa Moffitt.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Timothy Rucinski
From the Official Review, I would never have selected to read this book. I also thought that the cover was boring. Nevertheless, I didn't feel that the book is as horribly written as suggested by the Official Reviewer. Yet, it's messy enough and I won't be reading it, particularly if the Reviewer is correct about a disjointed narrative. The book has not been professionally edited as it is riddled with errors. For example, at Kindle location 111, the paragraph beginning "Let's think..." ends with a period following the quotation marks, unlike previously where the period preceded the quotation marks. At location 117, the first sentence in the new chapter ends without a period. The author's style is very fragmentary and although it could be considered first-person narrative dialogue, I personally found it jarring. At location 61, the sentence beginning "Places no hiker..." is really a part of the previous sentence and should be preceded by a comma. Another example at location 64: "Shaman symbolism hidden from modern understanding." I did enjoy the author's description of the surroundings during the hike but really disliked the poor quality of the editing. I recommend that the author pursue much better editing by a competent professional to improve this work.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 10:39 am by Timothy Rucinski.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
LinaJan
‘Followers of Lightning’ by Charles Bentley was brought to my attention through the ‘Book of the Day’ scheme. Otherwise, even though I quite like the title and the cover art, I would not have noticed it on the ‘virtual shelf.’ Upon reading the official onlinebookclub.org review, I learned that the story – if the reader overlooks the reported lack of editing – has great potential. Having also had the opportunity to sample ‘Followers of Lightning,’ I found that the reviewer was right to point out the issue of editing. I came numerous across numerous punctuation errors; for example, ‘Until it happened that is’ (loc. 44) is missing a comma following the word ‘happened.’ This lack of proper editing, sadly, impedes the flow, effectively making it harder for the reader to comprehend. On the other hand, I utterly enjoyed the richness of descriptive vocabulary that the author employs. I found it quite impressive how the author manages to evoke so many different feelings in me – the envy of adventure, nostalgia towards things that I never knew – whilst, in the background, painting a sad but accurate picture of the state of humanity. I felt frustrated and angry, knowing that things like mindless destruction of ancient and indigenous art are actually an every-day reality. Regardless of the lack of editing, I feel that I would enjoy this book. Hence, I am adding it to my ‘to-read’ list.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 10:01 am by LinaJan.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
gen_g
Based on the title and cover, it seems like an adventure-style book, which I am not in the market for; hence, I would not have sampled it. I have also come across a positive OBC review of the book, but this would not have changed my decision not to sample, since this book does not belong to a genre that I am looking for. After sampling, there are a couple of errors present. For example, at 2%, there is a missing space after the period to indicate the start of the new sentence: "...invited me.( )Neither of us...". I suggest more editing. However, I appreciate that the author has included a few descriptions of what certain characters look llke because this would help the reader to maintain immersion, as the readers will be able to imagine what they look like. For example, the reader learns that Haldane is very similar to a white bushman. Haldane is powerfully built, weighing over 200 pounds, and carries himself with a sort of ease that "belied intensity of purpose". Haldane also smoked pouch tobacco, and he is not overly concerned about the warnings or disapproval that people give him upon the sight of him smoking. However, as I am not currently in the market for stories set in South Africa, I will not be reading the rest of the book. Also, the number of errors present is distracting, which also prevents me from wanting to read the rest of the book.
First Ten review added on November 8, 2020, at 9:58 am by gen_g.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Total ~ 19%
Followers of Lightning earned a score of 19%.
In other words, out of the top-level reviewers who read at least the first 10 pages of this book, 19% plan to read the whole book.
IMPORTANT: Any score over 10% is considered very good. And any score above 0% is acceptable.
Over a million books are published each year. Any given person could not even read .0001% of the books out there. This means readers have to be very selective. Even taking the time to look over reviews and blurbs, let alone read samples, is more time than most readers can afford for most books. The First Ten is a powerful focus group that addresses those issues. It creates a helpful tool for authors, publishers, and other readers.
Go to main Bookshelves page for Followers of Lightning
