Review of Smart Love
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Shauna Franklin-High
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- Latest Review: Smart Love by Vincent Fudge II
Review of Smart Love
[Following is a volunteer review of "Smart Love" by Vincent Fudge II.]
Vincent Fudge's narrative Smart Love details a system developed by the author to communicate effectively in a relationship. The system involves people in a relationship developing individual visions, or daydreams, for their relationship. The people then further develop these into shared visions to be worked towards together. Methods for having healthy, productive conversataions also detailed, such as stating your conversation receptiveness score (CRS) to your partner and keeping track of it throughout the conversation. After describing the SMART system itself in the first chapter, the narrative then follows the main character, Edward, as he uses the SMART system month by month in an attempt to repair his broken relationship.
Although the presented techniques were limited in quantity, they are valuable for any relationship, even those outside of dating. This reader particularly liked the use of CRS to have healthy, constructive conversations. Although at first some of the techniques seem impractical, the focus is on building habits and making what is challenging into something that is second nature. CRS is a useful method to enter a conversation with a clear understanding of all participants' mental states as well as a way to acknowledge when it is time to put a conversation on hold before it becomes hurtful, unhealthy, and nonconstructive. It was also appreciated that the author was so transparent with his experiences and his negative actions, although due to this narrative being described as "quasi-fictional," this should be taken with a grain of salt. Still, it was useful when the narrator clearly noted bad decisions, why they were bad, and/or what he should have done differently. This creates a clear understanding of how certain actions align with or work against the techniques presented in the SMART program.
There are several problems that this reader had with the narrative, the first being word choice. The poor word choice at times comes across as being misogynistic, such as when the narrator and his wife attend a relationship-improvement retreat. The narrator states that there were many single "people" there looking for how to "get and keep a good man." This implies that despite the many single individuals in attendance and regardless of their genders, a male partner was the only goal. The title page also includes the subtitle "The MANual," seeming to imply that this book was written BY a man and FOR men, therefore, men don't have to worry about reading a "girly" book that will damage their masculinity.
Besides word choice, the narrative also has a large amount of Christian-focused mentions, such as constantly dropping bible quotes and mentioning praying, God's blessings, and God's plan, specifically in relation to fixing his marriage. Some things were so unrelatable or problematic that they left this reader uncomfortable. Edward's therapist gives him a questionnaire that includes questions as to whether his wife has ever put the family in danger alongside a question of if his wife has ever practiced any kind of witchcraft or devil worship. This Christian framework is easily a point of tension for readers who are not warned of it ahead of time. Not only this, but at one point the narrator admits to having four physical altercations with his wife. This includes the opening story when the narrator slams his wife's head into a wall (later simply describing it as him having "lost [his] composure on her"). Still, he does not dissolve the relationship, but trusts in "what [he] believed to be God's plan." This reader found this to be a particularly problematic and dangerous idea to promote, as it encourages people to stay in abusive relationships.
I give this book 2 out of 4 stars. The techniques and activities were few in number, but some people may find them useful. Reading the narrator's use of the techniques in his relationship may help some readers more clearly understand how to apply them. Readers may appreciate the honesty of the narrator. However, due to the reasons mentioned above, many readers may also feel frustrated and isolated. By the end of the narrative, it felt as if there was little improvement in the narrator's relationship, and it is difficult to see how any perceived success from the narrator is the result of the presented techniques. This may leave readers feeling confused and doubtful.
Although there is no downside to trying the techniques provided in this book, readers hoping to find a large number of suggested techniques to try should look elsewhere. However, readers who learn easier through examples may find this book useful and the techniques easy to understand. Readers who actively avoid Christian-based content may wish to avoid this book, as the case study includes many faith-based quotes and beliefs that the reader may find problematic in a kind of self-help book targeted at a wide audience.
******
Smart Love
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
Vincent Fudge's narrative Smart Love details a system developed by the author to communicate effectively in a relationship. The system involves people in a relationship developing individual visions, or daydreams, for their relationship. The people then further develop these into shared visions to be worked towards together. Methods for having healthy, productive conversataions also detailed, such as stating your conversation receptiveness score (CRS) to your partner and keeping track of it throughout the conversation. After describing the SMART system itself in the first chapter, the narrative then follows the main character, Edward, as he uses the SMART system month by month in an attempt to repair his broken relationship.
Although the presented techniques were limited in quantity, they are valuable for any relationship, even those outside of dating. This reader particularly liked the use of CRS to have healthy, constructive conversations. Although at first some of the techniques seem impractical, the focus is on building habits and making what is challenging into something that is second nature. CRS is a useful method to enter a conversation with a clear understanding of all participants' mental states as well as a way to acknowledge when it is time to put a conversation on hold before it becomes hurtful, unhealthy, and nonconstructive. It was also appreciated that the author was so transparent with his experiences and his negative actions, although due to this narrative being described as "quasi-fictional," this should be taken with a grain of salt. Still, it was useful when the narrator clearly noted bad decisions, why they were bad, and/or what he should have done differently. This creates a clear understanding of how certain actions align with or work against the techniques presented in the SMART program.
There are several problems that this reader had with the narrative, the first being word choice. The poor word choice at times comes across as being misogynistic, such as when the narrator and his wife attend a relationship-improvement retreat. The narrator states that there were many single "people" there looking for how to "get and keep a good man." This implies that despite the many single individuals in attendance and regardless of their genders, a male partner was the only goal. The title page also includes the subtitle "The MANual," seeming to imply that this book was written BY a man and FOR men, therefore, men don't have to worry about reading a "girly" book that will damage their masculinity.
Besides word choice, the narrative also has a large amount of Christian-focused mentions, such as constantly dropping bible quotes and mentioning praying, God's blessings, and God's plan, specifically in relation to fixing his marriage. Some things were so unrelatable or problematic that they left this reader uncomfortable. Edward's therapist gives him a questionnaire that includes questions as to whether his wife has ever put the family in danger alongside a question of if his wife has ever practiced any kind of witchcraft or devil worship. This Christian framework is easily a point of tension for readers who are not warned of it ahead of time. Not only this, but at one point the narrator admits to having four physical altercations with his wife. This includes the opening story when the narrator slams his wife's head into a wall (later simply describing it as him having "lost [his] composure on her"). Still, he does not dissolve the relationship, but trusts in "what [he] believed to be God's plan." This reader found this to be a particularly problematic and dangerous idea to promote, as it encourages people to stay in abusive relationships.
I give this book 2 out of 4 stars. The techniques and activities were few in number, but some people may find them useful. Reading the narrator's use of the techniques in his relationship may help some readers more clearly understand how to apply them. Readers may appreciate the honesty of the narrator. However, due to the reasons mentioned above, many readers may also feel frustrated and isolated. By the end of the narrative, it felt as if there was little improvement in the narrator's relationship, and it is difficult to see how any perceived success from the narrator is the result of the presented techniques. This may leave readers feeling confused and doubtful.
Although there is no downside to trying the techniques provided in this book, readers hoping to find a large number of suggested techniques to try should look elsewhere. However, readers who learn easier through examples may find this book useful and the techniques easy to understand. Readers who actively avoid Christian-based content may wish to avoid this book, as the case study includes many faith-based quotes and beliefs that the reader may find problematic in a kind of self-help book targeted at a wide audience.
******
Smart Love
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
Latest Review: Smart Love by Vincent Fudge II
