Review by Ssanna -- Black Soul Eater by Bryan Nyaude
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Ssanna
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- Latest Review: Black Soul Eater by Bryan Nyaude
Review by Ssanna -- Black Soul Eater by Bryan Nyaude
[Following is a volunteer review of "Black Soul Eater" by Bryan Nyaude.]
First and foremost, when I post a review I like to start with the negatives. Black Soul Eater by Bryan Nyaude’s is riddled with many run-on sentences. These sentences tend to drag on, making descriptions feel forced and a chore to read. Example - “And beneath me, yellow, slimy blood leaked through the sands, the torn, charred ligament of scaly, fiendish beast still wrapped around my chest”. Beyond the run-on sentences it seems most of the characters often boom, roar, or spit their statements (there is a lack of adjectives to describe dialogues unfortunately).
Overall, I feel the sentence structure and writing style prevent the characters feelings, conversations, and setting descriptions from being conveyed appropriately. The overall story is good if you can get around the writing style (and the many recurring grammatical mistakes). The book seems to be written with strange word choice at times. For example, “I dashed forward for the building in front of me, knowing full well what I was walking into. I smiled in a wryly manner, enjoying the dilemma unfolding in front of me”. The act of dashing is compared to walking almost immediately after; replacing the word walking with rushing would be a better word choice. There also seems to be a shortfall with consistency of story-telling. During one arch of the book, the main character gets away with feigning amnesia but later mentions certain memories haunt him.
Now the positives. This book does a great job with action scenes. Many of the actions taken by the main character are well thought out. The same holds true for his dialogue and personality. The witty banter and quips are definitely something that hooks a reader into the story. I do wish the characters and settings were described better. I would recommend this book for YA fantasy writers that want to learn how to write a gripping action scene.
Going off story, originality, grammar and writing style, I would rate this book 2 out of 4 stars. The story, although well put together, is pulled down purely by the number of grammatical mistakes and poor word choices. When you run across examples such as “Dishes and kitchenware were scattered in every direction, a red stain covering the marble ceiling” where one would easily understand using the word “covered” instead of “covering” is correct, it can be off putting…especially when mistakes are recurring so often.
To conclude, with proper developmental and grammatical review, this book can be an amazing epic fantasy read. I hope to one day see this book edited. It will definitely be worth a second read once a proper flow is achieved and the story-telling is not hindered by the poor word choice and grammatical mistakes.
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Black Soul Eater
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
First and foremost, when I post a review I like to start with the negatives. Black Soul Eater by Bryan Nyaude’s is riddled with many run-on sentences. These sentences tend to drag on, making descriptions feel forced and a chore to read. Example - “And beneath me, yellow, slimy blood leaked through the sands, the torn, charred ligament of scaly, fiendish beast still wrapped around my chest”. Beyond the run-on sentences it seems most of the characters often boom, roar, or spit their statements (there is a lack of adjectives to describe dialogues unfortunately).
Overall, I feel the sentence structure and writing style prevent the characters feelings, conversations, and setting descriptions from being conveyed appropriately. The overall story is good if you can get around the writing style (and the many recurring grammatical mistakes). The book seems to be written with strange word choice at times. For example, “I dashed forward for the building in front of me, knowing full well what I was walking into. I smiled in a wryly manner, enjoying the dilemma unfolding in front of me”. The act of dashing is compared to walking almost immediately after; replacing the word walking with rushing would be a better word choice. There also seems to be a shortfall with consistency of story-telling. During one arch of the book, the main character gets away with feigning amnesia but later mentions certain memories haunt him.
Now the positives. This book does a great job with action scenes. Many of the actions taken by the main character are well thought out. The same holds true for his dialogue and personality. The witty banter and quips are definitely something that hooks a reader into the story. I do wish the characters and settings were described better. I would recommend this book for YA fantasy writers that want to learn how to write a gripping action scene.
Going off story, originality, grammar and writing style, I would rate this book 2 out of 4 stars. The story, although well put together, is pulled down purely by the number of grammatical mistakes and poor word choices. When you run across examples such as “Dishes and kitchenware were scattered in every direction, a red stain covering the marble ceiling” where one would easily understand using the word “covered” instead of “covering” is correct, it can be off putting…especially when mistakes are recurring so often.
To conclude, with proper developmental and grammatical review, this book can be an amazing epic fantasy read. I hope to one day see this book edited. It will definitely be worth a second read once a proper flow is achieved and the story-telling is not hindered by the poor word choice and grammatical mistakes.
******
Black Soul Eater
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
Latest Review: Black Soul Eater by Bryan Nyaude
