Hilarious Quotes

RJohnReves · Post by **RJohnReves** » 08 Aug 2014, 12:40

"That depends on what the meaning of 'is' is."
Bill Clinton

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 08 Aug 2014, 12:58

As long as there are tests there will be prayer in public schools...

Fran · Post by **Fran** » 09 Aug 2014, 09:58

When you pass 70, you are no longer obligated to finish what you’ve started, not a book, not a meal, not even a sentence.
- Garrison Keillor

EarlByrd · Post by **EarlByrd** » 09 Aug 2014, 11:13

I voted for John Gotti. None of the others has a conviction. Salvatore Gravano

RJohnReves · Post by **RJohnReves** » 10 Aug 2014, 08:06

The year I turned 13, I experimented with something, and my grandma caught me in the bathroom just a'doin it. She said, "It says in the Bible, young man, that it is better for your seed to fall in the belly of a whore than on the ground." I said, "Tough to argue with that logic, Grandma. You got 50 bucks?" Ron White

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 10 Aug 2014, 08:09

A day w/o sunshine, is like, you know, night...

Steve Martin...

RJohnReves · Post by **RJohnReves** » 10 Aug 2014, 08:33

I believe that if life gives you lemons you should make lemonade. Then find someone life has given Vodka and have a party - Ron White

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 10 Aug 2014, 17:53

Support Bacteria, they're the only culture some ppl have...( unknown )

RJohnReves · Post by **RJohnReves** » 12 Aug 2014, 08:33

This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

Douglas Adams

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 12 Aug 2014, 09:24

" Candy is dandy
but liquor is quicker ".........Ogden Nash, one of my fave poets ( a master of SUCCINCT )

PashaRu · Post by **PashaRu** » 16 Aug 2014, 08:17

Definition of a classic: a book everyone wants to have read, but nobody wants to actually read. -Unknown

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 16 Aug 2014, 16:24

Hahaha...

Fran · Post by **Fran** » 17 Aug 2014, 04:39

"He wouldn't be happy until the furniture was laughing" - Nigel Planer appreciation of Robin Williams in The Guardian

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 17 Aug 2014, 04:59

Ahhhh, love that one!...it says it all...

Linda7228 · Post by **Linda7228** » 29 Aug 2014, 14:04

“Are you wearing perfume?…Son, there ain’t any cologne in this house, only your mother’s perfume. I know that scent, and let me tell you, it’s disturbing to smell your wife on your thirteen-year-old son.” Sh*t my Dad Says by Justin Halpern