Review by Maureen Refior -- A Life Naive by Oliver Phipps
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Maureen Refior
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- Latest Review: A Life Naive by Oliver Phipps
Review by Maureen Refior -- A Life Naive by Oliver Phipps
[Following is a volunteer review of "A Life Naive" by Oliver Phipps.]
2 out of 4 stars
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I wanted to love A Life Naive. I had never read any of Oliver Phipps' books before, but I had seen some truly glowing reviews of his other work. The reviews were so glowing that I'd even added Mr. Phipps to my personal list of "must read" authors. So when this book became available for review, I jumped at the chance.
I wanted to love it. But I couldn't.
Being a fan of period fiction, I was immediately drawn to the subject matter. Set in 1962, A Life Naive is the story of Hershel Lawson and his journey from being a sheltered boy to becoming a fully awakened young man. At the age of twenty-seven, Hershel has led a quiet life in St. Louis with his grandmother (whom he calls "Me'ma"), running her errands and taking care of her needs. But when his Me'ma passes away, Hershel is thrust into a series of events that will change the course of his life. Me'ma leaves the house and all of her money to Hershel's brother, Joe, leaving Hershel her Lincoln Continental, $700 in cash, and first pick of the house's contents. But Hershel's life is about to become significantly less peaceful and uneventful due to Me'ma's explicit instructions: Hershel is to drive the Lincoln to Los Angeles and deliver her ashes to her final resting place.
Hershel sets out on Route 66 and drives for two days without incident; on the third day, however, Hershel makes an acquaintance, loses his car and his wallet, and finds himself stranded in the middle of nowhere. After spending the night on the porch of an abandoned gas station, Hershel meets Sally, a tough, streetwise smalltown girl. When she's assured herself that Hershel isn't one of the men she calls "pigs," she informs him that she's on her way to Hollywood to become a movie star. The two decide to team up and travel together, and this is where the true journey begins.
All of that makes this sound like a book I would really enjoy; unfortunately, while the concept is wonderful, the execution is anything but. I was immediately distracted by the incorrect or missing punctuation (questions ending in a period instead of a question mark, incorrect capitalization after a quote, and missing commas and periods, to name a few). Take this sentence: "Yes, I can see what you have, Hershel; set it down there." She replied. It should be written as "Yes, I can see what you have, Hershel. Set it down there," she replied. Or this: "Are you certain I must relax all the time." It's a question, it needs a question mark. I got the impression that the book was never proofread or edited, with that much sloppy punctuation and bad grammar right at the beginning (the grammar wasn't because Phipps was attempting to write dialect). Even the best books have an occasional typo here and there, but not this many and not on the first couple of pages.
The writing itself is also a problem. It's awkward. For example (again from Chapter 1): "His grandmother's face twisted in a frustrated manner. She stared at her grandson as he appeared very uncomfortable." I assume that Phipps meant to say that it was Me'ma who was frustrated, but that's not what he says; he says her face is frustrated. Maybe I sound trifling, but things like that significantly impede my enjoyment of a book.
The exposition surrounding the events of Hershel's childhood, the things that caused him to become the Hershel Lawson we meet at the beginning of the story, seems forced. The entire story of Hershel and Joe being raised by their grandmother is packed into one conversation with Me'ma's doctor. Given the fact that she's had a relationship with Dr. Gregory for many years, one might assume that he already knew the story. But even if he didn't, Hershel's history could have been written into a series of questions and answers, or flashbacks, or revealed over the course of the book. There are so many ways to weave backstory into a narrative; a good writer will choose the best one for his or her particular story and writing style. The way it stands, it makes the reader feel like they're sitting in a lecture entitled "The Story of Hershel Lawson's Childhood."
There is one truly touching piece of writing. When Hershel discovers Me'ma dead in her bed, Phipps makes the reader feel like they're actually in the room, watching Hershel and feeling his emotions. It's great work. I just wish the rest of the book displayed that level of talent.
There are other moments in A Life Naive that are well done; the description of Hershel and Sally's journey down Route 66 in its heyday is, for example, mostly vivid and engaging. The interplay between Sally and Hershel, as their friendship blossoms into something deeper and more meaningful, is also well written (if at times somewhat pedantic). But the book as a whole needs work. The sloppy editing and clumsy sentence structure, along with the ill-chosen vocabulary scattered throughout the text, are so distracting that it makes it very difficult to read. Because of those issues, I rate A Life Naive 2 out of 4 stars. It's a wonderful concept, but it's been done before and done better. Here's hoping that Mr. Phipps lets someone else edit his next book, or that he reads his own work with a more critical eye before publishing.
******
A Life Naive
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2 out of 4 stars
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I wanted to love A Life Naive. I had never read any of Oliver Phipps' books before, but I had seen some truly glowing reviews of his other work. The reviews were so glowing that I'd even added Mr. Phipps to my personal list of "must read" authors. So when this book became available for review, I jumped at the chance.
I wanted to love it. But I couldn't.
Being a fan of period fiction, I was immediately drawn to the subject matter. Set in 1962, A Life Naive is the story of Hershel Lawson and his journey from being a sheltered boy to becoming a fully awakened young man. At the age of twenty-seven, Hershel has led a quiet life in St. Louis with his grandmother (whom he calls "Me'ma"), running her errands and taking care of her needs. But when his Me'ma passes away, Hershel is thrust into a series of events that will change the course of his life. Me'ma leaves the house and all of her money to Hershel's brother, Joe, leaving Hershel her Lincoln Continental, $700 in cash, and first pick of the house's contents. But Hershel's life is about to become significantly less peaceful and uneventful due to Me'ma's explicit instructions: Hershel is to drive the Lincoln to Los Angeles and deliver her ashes to her final resting place.
Hershel sets out on Route 66 and drives for two days without incident; on the third day, however, Hershel makes an acquaintance, loses his car and his wallet, and finds himself stranded in the middle of nowhere. After spending the night on the porch of an abandoned gas station, Hershel meets Sally, a tough, streetwise smalltown girl. When she's assured herself that Hershel isn't one of the men she calls "pigs," she informs him that she's on her way to Hollywood to become a movie star. The two decide to team up and travel together, and this is where the true journey begins.
All of that makes this sound like a book I would really enjoy; unfortunately, while the concept is wonderful, the execution is anything but. I was immediately distracted by the incorrect or missing punctuation (questions ending in a period instead of a question mark, incorrect capitalization after a quote, and missing commas and periods, to name a few). Take this sentence: "Yes, I can see what you have, Hershel; set it down there." She replied. It should be written as "Yes, I can see what you have, Hershel. Set it down there," she replied. Or this: "Are you certain I must relax all the time." It's a question, it needs a question mark. I got the impression that the book was never proofread or edited, with that much sloppy punctuation and bad grammar right at the beginning (the grammar wasn't because Phipps was attempting to write dialect). Even the best books have an occasional typo here and there, but not this many and not on the first couple of pages.
The writing itself is also a problem. It's awkward. For example (again from Chapter 1): "His grandmother's face twisted in a frustrated manner. She stared at her grandson as he appeared very uncomfortable." I assume that Phipps meant to say that it was Me'ma who was frustrated, but that's not what he says; he says her face is frustrated. Maybe I sound trifling, but things like that significantly impede my enjoyment of a book.
The exposition surrounding the events of Hershel's childhood, the things that caused him to become the Hershel Lawson we meet at the beginning of the story, seems forced. The entire story of Hershel and Joe being raised by their grandmother is packed into one conversation with Me'ma's doctor. Given the fact that she's had a relationship with Dr. Gregory for many years, one might assume that he already knew the story. But even if he didn't, Hershel's history could have been written into a series of questions and answers, or flashbacks, or revealed over the course of the book. There are so many ways to weave backstory into a narrative; a good writer will choose the best one for his or her particular story and writing style. The way it stands, it makes the reader feel like they're sitting in a lecture entitled "The Story of Hershel Lawson's Childhood."
There is one truly touching piece of writing. When Hershel discovers Me'ma dead in her bed, Phipps makes the reader feel like they're actually in the room, watching Hershel and feeling his emotions. It's great work. I just wish the rest of the book displayed that level of talent.
There are other moments in A Life Naive that are well done; the description of Hershel and Sally's journey down Route 66 in its heyday is, for example, mostly vivid and engaging. The interplay between Sally and Hershel, as their friendship blossoms into something deeper and more meaningful, is also well written (if at times somewhat pedantic). But the book as a whole needs work. The sloppy editing and clumsy sentence structure, along with the ill-chosen vocabulary scattered throughout the text, are so distracting that it makes it very difficult to read. Because of those issues, I rate A Life Naive 2 out of 4 stars. It's a wonderful concept, but it's been done before and done better. Here's hoping that Mr. Phipps lets someone else edit his next book, or that he reads his own work with a more critical eye before publishing.
******
A Life Naive
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
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Latest Review: A Life Naive by Oliver Phipps
