Review by Sarah Dsouza -- The Secrets To Living A Fanta...

Sarah Dsouza · Post by **Sarah Dsouza** » 28 Jul 2020, 11:22

[Following is a volunteer review of "The Secrets To Living A Fantastic Life..." by Dr. Allen Lycka & Harriet Tinka.]

2 out of 4 stars

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When I first contemplated reading this book, I was more or less skeptical about its content. I mean, The Secrets To Living A Fantastic Life? I just didn't buy it! Looking back, I'm glad I followed through, reminded me why they say not to "judge a book by its cover". This scripted guide is a gold mine, harboring over 13 "golden pearls" that could radically improve your perspective on life.

The authors, Dr. Allen Lycka and Harriet Tinka, selflessly indulge us in a well of wisdom drawn from their very own life experiences. They both endured significant trauma, yet managed to re-emerge stronger. Allen was diagnosed with a terminal disease and six-month prognosis, while Harriet scraped through a life-and-death situation as her friend-turned-stalker spitefully stabbed and left her to die. I must say, their unbridled vulnerability is what keeps this book real, and helps the reader resonate with them.

I do, however, have qualms about it. This book essentially demonizes anxiety and advocates gratitude, regardless of the situation. While I do believe that anxiety is not always fruitful and gratitude is indeed a healthy discipline to practice, your feelings are valid and need to be acknowledged. People must emotionally deal with the injustices they face, instead of dismissing their feelings. It is possible to have two emotions co-exist. In fact, Harriet herself talks about a time when she was exhausted post-pregnancy and her child was severely ill, so she had to stay in the hospital and couldn't catch a break. Her body had undergone a lot over the past few months, and she had every right to vent. Instead, someone made her feel more miserable for complaining, bringing up her friend's case who had lost her child, indirectly calling her privileged and ungrateful. That is toxic positivity, and a line must be drawn.

There are many individuals challenged with different grades of clinical anxiety and it is not right to generalize that term. I do agree that some have a nasty habit of catastrophizing everything, but using an "elastic band around your wrist to make you aware when you complain by snapping the elastic" is an extreme exercise that can project an unhealthy image on people who find it inevitable to overthink things. In my opinion, a disclaimer for these matters are imperative. I would also like to add that although I understand the tenor the authors are trying to convey by encouraging us to keep positive company, using a statement like "avoid those who tend to be dour and depressed" is inflammatory and can adversely impact readers who are already depressed and feel self-conscious. Our goal should be to accept them the way they are and help them come out of their shell, not steer clear of them.

A subjective opinion, but in the topic "humor", I didn't find the camel story amusing but dangerous, and reflected poorly on the subheading. Also, this doesn't count as a flaw, but that story included the author calling out the Islamic God's name in vain, so I feel the need to forewarn people of that faith, due to the trigger possibility.

Moving onto the positive aspects of this book, I deeply enjoyed the meaningful anecdotes that reinforced the value of each lesson. This book is packed with positive energy, very timely and relevant in these trying times when people are in dire need of hope. I personally found the conversational fashion of writing to be unique and more effective than a series of non-interactive paragraphs. The authors' playful banter was a treat. Clearly, they're a fan of each other, and made great use of their synergistic potential by putting this book together.

I love how they maintained an uplifting tone all throughout and freely shared their success rituals without holding back. It was a delight to read about the lives they had touched and how that in turn helped them grow. Being a woman, I was greatly impressed to spot a feministic approach in the book. Harriet's work on empowering women and Allen's deeds to rehabilitate the downtrodden thoroughly inspired me. Their precept on not budging when it came to self-respect and tenacity was applaud-worthy, and much-needed for anyone in a phase of self-doubt.

This book had no profanity or erotic scenes. The language used was lucid, and the text exceptionally edited, as I barely found any errors. Considering everything, I rate this book 2 out of 4 stars. If you constantly feel stuck in a rut of negativity, this book is for you, although I would caution readers diagnosed with PTSD, clinical depression and anxiety.

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The Secrets To Living A Fantastic Life...
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