Review of Fish Wielder
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Review of Fish Wielder
[Following is a volunteer review of "Fish Wielder" by J.R.R.R. (Jim) Hardison.]
It’s late at night. You return from the bar and settle on the couch in a drunken haze, while your buddy plugs in his PS4 to play Red Dead Redemption. Soon you are directing your friend to attack this wagon or plunder that house. The horse and rider see and saw tirelessly between your opposing whims. It’s storyboard anarchy, much like Fish Wielder, by J.R.R.R. Hardison. This whirlwind may stem from the fact that Hardison wrote the book as an “epically silly” mashup of Lord of the Rings, Narnia, and Monty Python, with a smattering of We Might Be Giants (a nerdy musical band).
The story begins in the corner of a tavern. Thoral, the ridiculously jacked and depressed hero of the story, sips warm ale while lamenting his existence (think WWE meets Pooh Bear). He is joined by a twelve-inch-long orange koi fish, Brad, his adventuring partner. Brad is rational and frank, sometimes literally providing words to Thoral when Thoral is at a loss for them, and at other times, reasonable advice that Thoral often ignores.
After Brad and Thoral avoid an assassination attempt, they head out of town towards the Godforsaken Swamp where they discover a castle. Upon hearing screams, they enter the structure. Thoral kills a sorcerer they encounter and frees a chained elf maiden, but then Thoral and Brad abruptly return to town. The beginning of the next chapter finds Thoral, again, seated in the corner of the tavern, tankard of warm ale in hand, adventure complete, totally miserable. Don’t worry. It doesn’t devolve into a Groundhog Day story, but I’m not sure it ever becomes the mash-up it intends to be.
Fish Wielder is for the most part, it’s own story. It slowly elaborates on Thoral’s past while bringing forth the evil characters and their evil plans. Thoral proves to be superhuman and his very existence mocks the idea of mortality and plot tension. The elf princess they rescue falls in love with Thoral in a very fantasy way and is an on/off damsel in distress throughout the story. In addition, Hardison takes elements of Lord of the Rings (LOTR) and changes the names and places slightly before reinserting them into his story. This is distracting because the book is not really a spoof or silly reenactment of Lord of the Rings and it's disappointing, to a LOTR fan, when the Fellowship leaves “Windendale,” but does not follow the arc or even similar characters of the Fellowship of the Ring.
It is also difficult to determine who this book was written for. Sometimes, the narrator makes the reader feel incompentent instead of tickled. Here, the narrator explains a scene to us. “He didn’t literally explode because someone had cast a deadly exploding spell on him. He just said the words in an explosive way.” In contrast to this explanatory language, there is a weird obsession with breasts: breast mutilation is a recurring punishment, an old part of the town is referred to as “the teat,” and Thoral’s wife loses a breast to an evil creature. Although the silliness and lightheartedness could be sold to a child a few years old, an upstanding parent would never expose their child to such violence towards the feminine body; let alone a child young enough to be suckling on said breasts.
If it isn’t clear yet, the humor struggles as well. For example, at one point, Thoral looks up at the constellation, the Celestial Gopher, and then moves on to another thought. Silly? Check. In John Cleese’s or Terry Gillam’s voice? Sure, a giggle is appropriate, but to elicit full blown laughter, the reader needs a more developed idea of the Celestial Gopher. There were too many rushed jokes in the book like this. However, there was an intense and amusing fight scene between Thoral and the sorcerer. Having exhausted their magical strength and unable to teleport, the sorcerer chases Thoral up a long flight of stairs where both arrive at the top, winded.
Scanning across the canon of spoofs (if this indeed is a spoof), one thing is clear. The good ones are capable of standing on their own, while the bad ones just rely on the references and the “aha!” moments from the audience. It doesn’t suffice just to let the audience know that they are in on the joke.
I rate this book 2 out of 4 stars. The book shows promised with its absurdity, but I found that it was a slog at points. The borrowed story elements are distracting, slightly confusing, and took away from the tale Hardison wants to tell. I recommend this book to fantasy readers and those with an interest in the extreme absurd.
******
Fish Wielder
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
It’s late at night. You return from the bar and settle on the couch in a drunken haze, while your buddy plugs in his PS4 to play Red Dead Redemption. Soon you are directing your friend to attack this wagon or plunder that house. The horse and rider see and saw tirelessly between your opposing whims. It’s storyboard anarchy, much like Fish Wielder, by J.R.R.R. Hardison. This whirlwind may stem from the fact that Hardison wrote the book as an “epically silly” mashup of Lord of the Rings, Narnia, and Monty Python, with a smattering of We Might Be Giants (a nerdy musical band).
The story begins in the corner of a tavern. Thoral, the ridiculously jacked and depressed hero of the story, sips warm ale while lamenting his existence (think WWE meets Pooh Bear). He is joined by a twelve-inch-long orange koi fish, Brad, his adventuring partner. Brad is rational and frank, sometimes literally providing words to Thoral when Thoral is at a loss for them, and at other times, reasonable advice that Thoral often ignores.
After Brad and Thoral avoid an assassination attempt, they head out of town towards the Godforsaken Swamp where they discover a castle. Upon hearing screams, they enter the structure. Thoral kills a sorcerer they encounter and frees a chained elf maiden, but then Thoral and Brad abruptly return to town. The beginning of the next chapter finds Thoral, again, seated in the corner of the tavern, tankard of warm ale in hand, adventure complete, totally miserable. Don’t worry. It doesn’t devolve into a Groundhog Day story, but I’m not sure it ever becomes the mash-up it intends to be.
Fish Wielder is for the most part, it’s own story. It slowly elaborates on Thoral’s past while bringing forth the evil characters and their evil plans. Thoral proves to be superhuman and his very existence mocks the idea of mortality and plot tension. The elf princess they rescue falls in love with Thoral in a very fantasy way and is an on/off damsel in distress throughout the story. In addition, Hardison takes elements of Lord of the Rings (LOTR) and changes the names and places slightly before reinserting them into his story. This is distracting because the book is not really a spoof or silly reenactment of Lord of the Rings and it's disappointing, to a LOTR fan, when the Fellowship leaves “Windendale,” but does not follow the arc or even similar characters of the Fellowship of the Ring.
It is also difficult to determine who this book was written for. Sometimes, the narrator makes the reader feel incompentent instead of tickled. Here, the narrator explains a scene to us. “He didn’t literally explode because someone had cast a deadly exploding spell on him. He just said the words in an explosive way.” In contrast to this explanatory language, there is a weird obsession with breasts: breast mutilation is a recurring punishment, an old part of the town is referred to as “the teat,” and Thoral’s wife loses a breast to an evil creature. Although the silliness and lightheartedness could be sold to a child a few years old, an upstanding parent would never expose their child to such violence towards the feminine body; let alone a child young enough to be suckling on said breasts.
If it isn’t clear yet, the humor struggles as well. For example, at one point, Thoral looks up at the constellation, the Celestial Gopher, and then moves on to another thought. Silly? Check. In John Cleese’s or Terry Gillam’s voice? Sure, a giggle is appropriate, but to elicit full blown laughter, the reader needs a more developed idea of the Celestial Gopher. There were too many rushed jokes in the book like this. However, there was an intense and amusing fight scene between Thoral and the sorcerer. Having exhausted their magical strength and unable to teleport, the sorcerer chases Thoral up a long flight of stairs where both arrive at the top, winded.
Scanning across the canon of spoofs (if this indeed is a spoof), one thing is clear. The good ones are capable of standing on their own, while the bad ones just rely on the references and the “aha!” moments from the audience. It doesn’t suffice just to let the audience know that they are in on the joke.
I rate this book 2 out of 4 stars. The book shows promised with its absurdity, but I found that it was a slog at points. The borrowed story elements are distracting, slightly confusing, and took away from the tale Hardison wants to tell. I recommend this book to fantasy readers and those with an interest in the extreme absurd.
******
Fish Wielder
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
Latest Review: There's a Rooster in My Bathroom! by Trish Ostroski
