Review of Scandal, Heartbreak and Deceit: One Woman's Experience with Online Dating
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Claire Twy
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Review of Scandal, Heartbreak and Deceit: One Woman's Experience with Online Dating
[Following is a volunteer review of "Scandal, Heartbreak and Deceit: One Woman's Experience with Online Dating" by Elizabeth Mahoney.]
Scandal, Heartbreak, and Deceit by Elizabeth Mahoney details her real-life experiences with online scammers and manipulators. In this book, she shares the story of how she lost $12,500 to a fraud, alias Shephard Wilner, whom she met on a dating site, as well as insight into her abusive relationship with her ex-husband. Beyond simply retelling her experience, Mahoney explains the psychology behind these manipulators who exploit their victims, revealing signs to look out for and avoid.
Online dating scams are not uncommon, and in fact, people falling prey to fraudsters has become an increasingly pressing issue. People desperate for love often fall into the trap of believing too much and trusting too fast, the focal point of Mahoney’s experience. Although a painful and depressing tale, it is inspiring to read about her admirable strength and resilience as she struggles to get on with her life.
Being taken advantage of is never an easy thing to admit, and hopefully Mahoney’s courageous step forward to share her experience will empower other victims to speak up as well. Mahoney fully depicts the entire experience, from the initial hopeful innocence to the growing suspicion and finally, the dawning horror of being duped. As I said before, I truly admire how, despite knowing full well that people will scoff at her naivety, she still chose to recount the whole experience. Perhaps that is why her first chapter is about the importance of not ‘victim blaming’.
Commenting solely on the story structure, I like how she presented the actual messages visually and mixed impersonal data and statistics with her own experience, extending a bond and connection with the reader by bringing it down to a personal level. She also breaks down her thought process and gives more context to the messages, allowing us to understand what led her to make the decisions she did and know what to look out for. Highlighting her bravery once again, she also did not hesitate to drop names, such as bitterly railing against Match.com for its lack of assistance and effort in prevention of dating scams.
Although I commend her on the extensive research done, the second chapter onwards feels as if I’m reading a research paper. The amount of information is almost dizzying; every paragraph about statistics from journals or quotes from psychologists. It’s easy for the reader to get lost or disinterested and I feel that the story should have been kept to her own experience and maybe some data and statistics to reinforce her points but not such an overwhelming amount.
I would give this story 3 out of 4 stars. It is a useful guide for those navigating dating sites for the first time and even old hands could use the tips she brings up to not only avoid a scam but also how to deal with one if it happens. Besides that, it provides interesting insight into the psychology of fraudulent behaviour and how scammers trick their victims. In our world of darkness, the book shines a spotlight on the best of humanity- our resilience to get back on our feet even after being knocked clean off and get on with life.
******
Scandal, Heartbreak and Deceit: One Woman's Experience with Online Dating
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
Scandal, Heartbreak, and Deceit by Elizabeth Mahoney details her real-life experiences with online scammers and manipulators. In this book, she shares the story of how she lost $12,500 to a fraud, alias Shephard Wilner, whom she met on a dating site, as well as insight into her abusive relationship with her ex-husband. Beyond simply retelling her experience, Mahoney explains the psychology behind these manipulators who exploit their victims, revealing signs to look out for and avoid.
Online dating scams are not uncommon, and in fact, people falling prey to fraudsters has become an increasingly pressing issue. People desperate for love often fall into the trap of believing too much and trusting too fast, the focal point of Mahoney’s experience. Although a painful and depressing tale, it is inspiring to read about her admirable strength and resilience as she struggles to get on with her life.
Being taken advantage of is never an easy thing to admit, and hopefully Mahoney’s courageous step forward to share her experience will empower other victims to speak up as well. Mahoney fully depicts the entire experience, from the initial hopeful innocence to the growing suspicion and finally, the dawning horror of being duped. As I said before, I truly admire how, despite knowing full well that people will scoff at her naivety, she still chose to recount the whole experience. Perhaps that is why her first chapter is about the importance of not ‘victim blaming’.
Commenting solely on the story structure, I like how she presented the actual messages visually and mixed impersonal data and statistics with her own experience, extending a bond and connection with the reader by bringing it down to a personal level. She also breaks down her thought process and gives more context to the messages, allowing us to understand what led her to make the decisions she did and know what to look out for. Highlighting her bravery once again, she also did not hesitate to drop names, such as bitterly railing against Match.com for its lack of assistance and effort in prevention of dating scams.
Although I commend her on the extensive research done, the second chapter onwards feels as if I’m reading a research paper. The amount of information is almost dizzying; every paragraph about statistics from journals or quotes from psychologists. It’s easy for the reader to get lost or disinterested and I feel that the story should have been kept to her own experience and maybe some data and statistics to reinforce her points but not such an overwhelming amount.
I would give this story 3 out of 4 stars. It is a useful guide for those navigating dating sites for the first time and even old hands could use the tips she brings up to not only avoid a scam but also how to deal with one if it happens. Besides that, it provides interesting insight into the psychology of fraudulent behaviour and how scammers trick their victims. In our world of darkness, the book shines a spotlight on the best of humanity- our resilience to get back on our feet even after being knocked clean off and get on with life.
******
Scandal, Heartbreak and Deceit: One Woman's Experience with Online Dating
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon
Latest Review: Terms of Service by Craig W. Stanfill
