Hilarious Quotes

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 13 Jun 2013, 05:44

" I hate to advocate drugs, violence, or insanity to anyone but they've always worked for me ".....

Hunter S. Thompson...

Sandie · Post by **Sandie** » 14 Jun 2013, 11:27

"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this." Terry Pratchett

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 14 Jun 2013, 12:18

heeee he hee...ya got that right!

Sandie · Post by **Sandie** » 14 Jun 2013, 13:03

In the afterword to Madelein L'engle 'a wrinkle in time' the author writes: "When I have something to say that I think will be too difficult for adults, I write it in a book for children. Children are excited by new ideas; they have not yet closed the doors and windows of their imaginations. Provided the story is good...nothing is too difficult for children." it is not ha-ha funny but it is pretty cool I think

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 14 Jun 2013, 13:07

Very!

MarathonCF · Post by **MarathonCF** » 01 Jul 2013, 13:10

"Major, Major, Major, Major"
Catch 22, Joseph Heller

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 05 Jul 2013, 06:17

In answer to a question from a reporter ( on Sunday Morning T.V. show ) this week, Stephen King said : "I could tell you, but i'd have to kill you "...

jazmen23 · Post by **jazmen23** » 31 Jul 2013, 12:12

To be or not to be that is the question

BookWorms101 · Post by **BookWorms101** » 12 Aug 2013, 00:41

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Phyllis Diller

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 12 Aug 2013, 05:50

good one !

From Joan River's book : " I told my mother in law that my house was HER house and she said: " Get the hell off my property "

DATo · Post by **DATo** » 13 Aug 2013, 06:20

One of my favorites for the witty wise crack is Dorothy Parker (1893 -1967)

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.

Tell him I was too f**king busy - or vice versa.

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.

I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy.

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.

Now to me, Edith looks like something that would eat her young.

Fran · Post by **Fran** » 13 Aug 2013, 06:27

@DATo
I love good old Dorothy Parker - as suzy would say "she was some gal!"
She really did seem to have a quote for every occasion

MiniDF · Post by **MiniDF** » 13 Aug 2013, 07:22

Terry Pratchett does come up with some good ones I quite like '“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?” '

suzy1124 · Post by **suzy1124** » 13 Aug 2013, 16:06

[quote="MiniDF"]Terry Pratchett does come up with some good ones I quite like '“It would s
eem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?” '[/quote

good one !

DATo, Fran.

Would have loved to have been " a fly on the wall " back in the days of the Round Table at the Algonquin Hotel...

I can only imagine !

Fran · Post by **Fran** » 13 Aug 2013, 16:11

suzy1124 wrote:
MiniDF wrote:Terry Pratchett does come up with some good ones I quite like '“It would s
eem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?” '[/quote

good one !

DATo, Fran.

Would have loved to have been " a fly on the wall " back in the days of the Round Table at the Algonquin Hotel...

I can only imagine !