A dodgy-style kind of life

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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A dodgy-style kind of life

Post by Daniel-book » 08 Aug 2018, 02:27

I cannot go down stairs,
Because I still have not paid for the pears,
That I took from the grocery shop,
So I will just chill indoors and watch movies non-stop.

I cannot call nor text John,
Because I still have not paid my Okoa loan,
Now he thinks I am ignoring him,
Because of the two thousand shillings that I owe him.

I cannot pass by Mama Akinyi’s Cereals store,
Because I still have not paid her what I owe,
She has been sending me bills,
After I took from her some green grams and beans.

I cannot have a peaceful sleep,
Knowing I have not given the landlord a bank-in slip,
How can I possibly have peace,
While everyday he threatens me with eviction notice?

Micro-finance institutions turn down my loan application form,
Because my name being listed on CRB has become the norm,
I even fear going near the altar,
Because I am a serial tithe defaulter.

I cannot borrow money from friends and family,
Because I have not paid the previous ones they lent me,
Oh how I wish I hadn’t sold my home-theatre system.

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Post by palilogy » 23 Aug 2018, 10:41

I love the originality in this poem.
Such a strong voice.
I feel as if it is just touching on the surface though
Perhaps more imagery is needed I wanted to see the speaker and feel as they feel in the lines.

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Post by mac83 » 23 Aug 2018, 12:03

This poem is different than ones I have read before. There is a fun scheme to it, but at the same time the theme of money being the issue.
Mac :techie-reference:

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