Thoughts?

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
Post Reply
User avatar
CJHeigelmann
Posts: 13
Joined: 26 Jan 2018, 22:15
Currently Reading: The Unbound Soul
Bookshelf Size: 3

Thoughts?

Post by CJHeigelmann » 01 Aug 2018, 11:31

Epiphany Rising by C.J. Heigelmann

Here I sit wondering, on an island betwixt discontent and hope. "Is there more?"

The conscience of my mediocrity reaches out once more to my present paradigm of belief.

With boldness it reaches further.

"There must be more! More to this life..." The thought echoes outward into the infinite, the source.

Howbeit, even the shadow of truth understands the oneness of the question and the answer..

The eclipse of my soul divides asunder, as the demise of my mind's archetype begins.

Ever changing is the course of my soul, to glimpse the light which breaches the dark void.

I move toward the light. Why?

I now understand. I am light, and I want to go home.

User avatar
palilogy
Posts: 477
Joined: 05 Jun 2018, 16:24
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 39
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-palilogy.html
Latest Review: Mistress Suffragette by Diana Forbes

Post by palilogy » 05 Aug 2018, 10:23

I just have heard all of these lines before...
I want to see more of the speaker and their life in the poem.

User avatar
CJHeigelmann
Posts: 13
Joined: 26 Jan 2018, 22:15
Currently Reading: The Unbound Soul
Bookshelf Size: 3

Post by CJHeigelmann » 05 Aug 2018, 11:07

palilogy wrote:
05 Aug 2018, 10:23
I just have heard all of these lines before...
I want to see more of the speaker and their life in the poem.
It sounds like you are insinuating plagiarism. If you are, then please provide the evidence of such.

If you are not, then clearly state that fact. Then, I will gladly explain what this means to me, line by line.

If you don't have any of your thoughts to share of the work at all, (besides the dubious comment, and your desire to glimpse into the personal impetus of the work) then I will know to explain from square one.

Thank you!

User avatar
DATo
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 3930
Joined: 31 Dec 2011, 07:54
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by DATo » 06 Aug 2018, 03:34

The poem perfectly captures the premise of the title. I thought this was an excellently constructed description of the transcending phases of illumination when experiencing an epiphany. In the general sense the poem can be representative of any epiphany though I strongly feel that the closing lines are a reference ... to dying? Perhaps I am mistaken and the term "light" is a metaphor for the light of truth.

Nicely done!!!
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright

User avatar
CJHeigelmann
Posts: 13
Joined: 26 Jan 2018, 22:15
Currently Reading: The Unbound Soul
Bookshelf Size: 3

Post by CJHeigelmann » 06 Aug 2018, 08:10

Thank you! You are spot on! I wrote this one night spontaneously. I wrote what I felt inside. No edits, no re-write. Much gratitude for sharing your thoughts!!

Post Reply

Return to “Creative Original Works: Poetry”