Unbroken Heart

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CHRIS2428
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Unbroken Heart

Post by CHRIS2428 » 08 May 2018, 11:12

Unbroken Heart

It was innocent and happy
when it first came to see the beauty
of life and love.

It was cheerful and graceful
when it tries to love
and have given it all.

But when melancholy hits
its inner core, then it suddenly
felt the pain that it never
knew existed.

Unbroken heart then can
be broken when it
started to open.

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palilogy
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Post by palilogy » 11 Jun 2018, 12:29

I'm not sure if this is about an unbroken heart. I think you left that idea behind and the poem became about something else. Follow where your pen leads you. Perhaps go back and reconsider what you wanted to say and what you did end up saying.

ms07
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Post by ms07 » 19 Jun 2018, 21:34

I enjoyed reading your poem very much, I think because it is so relatable to me. I have always been the closed off kind and letting people in is difficult and worrisome. When I let someone into my life, the jolly spirit that people saw in me turned into heartbreak and misery. I do have to admit though, it was worth it for the love I experienced. Thank you for sharing.

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Litchii
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Post by Litchii » 20 Jun 2018, 01:03

This is a very well written poem. It is honnest and pure. I think everyone can relate to your poem.

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TaaraLynn
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Post by TaaraLynn » 12 Jul 2018, 14:48

It reminds me of being young and innocent, the heart is so pure and open. Then something tears straight through it; a lie, a truth, death, etc. Or just life in general, no matter what the age. That's what I got from it, my perspective. Either way, I enjoyed this.
"Maybe the two different worlds we lived in weren't so different. We saw the same sunset." - Ponyboy Curtis, The Outsiders

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ChaunMartin
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Post by ChaunMartin » 13 Jul 2018, 12:12

It was nice but I felt like you left something out, what caused you to be brokenhearted and how did you get over it?

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Shalu jain+1212
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Post by Shalu jain+1212 » 29 Jul 2018, 22:59

"Unbroken heart"
It is poem with a simple meaning. It is well written that an unbroken heart can be broken when it started to open.

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Mudassir Shehzad
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Post by Mudassir Shehzad » 30 Jul 2018, 02:21

This poen is near to reality. Really heart touching.

SMwathi
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Post by SMwathi » 23 Aug 2018, 10:08

truly its heart touching. I like it.

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Innocent Nifty
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Post by Innocent Nifty » 24 Aug 2018, 12:08

It's a nice poem but I think the unknotting of embellishments in the reader is a somehow missing...
I know you can work on it and do better. Great work!

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fatima115
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Post by fatima115 » 03 Sep 2018, 16:22

Quite inspiring. It reminds me of the several times my pure heart was broken, then mended, then broken again...

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Rashmi W
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Post by Rashmi W » 05 Sep 2018, 00:20

Unbroken heart is your poem name but it ended up with broken heart.
Rewriting the topic or poem would last better

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