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Rotten Fruit
Posted: 08 Jun 2017, 20:13
by TobiOrNotTobi
My beloved, Elpis,
The forbidden fruit is safe,
But you are not.
Why couldn't you stay?
Instead of running away?
My beloved, Elpis,
That lurker from the darkness,
He has taken you away.
Far away to the frontier;
Where you will stay with regret.
My beloved, Elpis,
What have I done wrong
To make things go this way?
A woman has taken the forbidden fruit.
The woman has claimed the forbidden fruit as hers.
My beloved, Elpis,
What do I do now?
The forbidden fruit has returned,
But it's returned rotten,
Just like you.
Re: Rotten Fruit
Posted: 08 Jun 2017, 20:45
by Czarmaine AM
This could pass as a lyrics in a pop rock song. I can imagine the official music video now. Haha Thank you for sharing this. Loved the change of emotion in every stanza.
Re: Rotten Fruit
Posted: 08 Jun 2017, 20:57
by TobiOrNotTobi
czarmaineam wrote:This could pass as a lyrics in a pop rock song. I can imagine the official music video now. Haha Thank you for sharing this. Loved the change of emotion in every stanza.
Haha, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Re: Rotten Fruit
Posted: 09 Jun 2017, 03:29
by baley
Karisma,Darling,
Why,why? Did you risk the fruit?
By so doing you put everything at jeopardy,
So no Justification in spite of pardoning.
Karisma, Darling,
Forbidden fruit, is put at stake,
Now, it's rotten fruit,
Rotten and rotten to the core.
Karisma,Darling,
Did I not give you all I could,
Betrayal has clowned all,
Stay,stay I abandon the rotten fruit.
Re: Rotten Fruit
Posted: 09 Jun 2017, 05:49
by TobiOrNotTobi
baley wrote:Karisma,Darling,
Why,why? Did you risk the fruit?
By so doing you put everything at jeopardy,
So no Justification in spite of pardoning.
Karisma, Darling,
Forbidden fruit, is put at stake,
Now, it's rotten fruit,
Rotten and rotten to the core.
Karisma,Darling,
Did I not give you all I could,
Betrayal has clowned all,
Stay,stay I abandon the rotten fruit.
Is this another poem someone wrote, or did you write it yourself?
Re: Rotten Fruit
Posted: 13 Jul 2017, 07:28
by Mashell Chapeyama
I like the poem. It captures some emotions. It Flows smoothly and the message is put across in a great poetic way.
Re: Rotten Fruit
Posted: 13 Jul 2017, 07:59
by TobiOrNotTobi
Mashell Chapeyama wrote:I like the poem. It captures some emotions. It Flows smoothly and the message is put across in a great poetic way.
Thank you! That means so much to me (considering it's second poem I've written).
