Gender expectations do seem to be largely the same. Men are expected to ask women out, bring flowers and candy on a whim, plan dates, and propose marriage. Women are the pursued. But women have been more empowered to have more equality in the pursuit of relationships. Its not really that odd for a woman to be the first to express interest in a relationship.AWANDO OGUTU wrote: ↑24 Jun 2018, 07:53 For all I can remember, there is little difference between today's romance and that of the 1960s. Romance still largely remains one sided with expectations on men to be romantic in all scenarios.
Romance and time-how is romance different now?
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Re: Romance and time-how is romance different now?
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It seems like love was almost a result of "business arrangements." People were lucky to find love within an arranged marriage or some type of planned marriage where the couple married for financial gain. Now people commonly mistake lust for love. I think this is part of the reason divorce rates are so high. In previous decades divorce was not so common and much more difficult. People were expected to follow through on their marriage vows for life.MiziS_1305 wrote: ↑26 Jun 2018, 00:29 Romance has always been the same irrespective of time periods. What differs is lust. I just feel that now there is more lust in a relationship than love.
Also, love (or lust mistaken for love) is the foundation of long-term relationships and marriage.
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Wow, this is very insightful and so true!!! I even catch myself making the mistake of thinking my marriage should be a certain way, not necessarily because I saw it in a movie or read it in a book so I think it's reality, but more because I saw or read it and thought "that's how I want my relationship to be." Romance stories especially can set the bar high for relationships. We rarely ever see what comes after the "happily ever after." The screaming baby at 3am, handling holidays with in-laws who live in two different states, arguing about where to eat for dinnermcfeealexis wrote: ↑29 Jun 2018, 10:38 I think romance is different now because of the values that people hold. In older generation people had different values that they would look for when it came to a relationship with someone else. Also I think entertainment has also given people a different idea of what romance and being in love is like.
With all of that said, I am not using Alex and Angela has a benchmark although I'm sure my husband would be appreciative if I had the passion for him that Angela displays for Alex. But hey, real-life is exhausting. Alex and Angela may not be phased by international travel, attempts on their lives, and random feinting spells but I think most of us would be pretty exhausted.
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Actually, I thought the couples' stories were different. Fioretta and Giuliano's love was not acceptable because the constraints of him belonging to a powerful family and being promised to another woman. With Sophia and Gerhard, he was a Nazi officer and they were escaping; in particular, he was going AWOL from the Nazi army. Two different plotlines, in my opinion.greenstripedgiraffe wrote: ↑27 Jun 2018, 12:18 That is another strange lack of depth in this book. Each couple's story was basically identical I think things would have definitely happened differently in different centuries. However, the idea of a forbidden love could have been much more meaningful back when marriages were arranged, or done for convenience...
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Can you pinpoint specific areas in which you think romance has remained the same across time? I just see so many differences, I'm curious as to what you think hasn't changed.MiziS_1305 wrote: ↑26 Jun 2018, 00:29 Romance has always been the same irrespective of time periods. What differs is lust. I just feel that now there is more lust in a relationship than love.
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In a way, Sophia and Gerhard were living secretly in the sense that he was living under an alias and was a former Nazi officer. I can't imagine that would have gone over well with her family.kfwilson6 wrote: ↑29 Jun 2018, 17:11 Sophia and Gerhard's love, in general, wasn't forbidden, while Fioretta and Giuliano's was. The circumstances each couple found themselves in was pretty different, even their endings were different with one couple both dying, one couple losing one person, and one couple just beginning a relationship and a life together.
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While I really see the differences, I think MiziS_1305 may be right too. Lust is about the sexualization we see nowadays, which has definitely changed in the past years. But romance has always been about giving attention, admiration, caring for one's partner, giving and receiving happiness, helping the other, etc. Lust refers to how showing an ankle in 1800 had the same effect as showing your underwear today.kfwilson6 wrote: ↑29 Jun 2018, 17:13Can you pinpoint specific areas in which you think romance has remained the same across time? I just see so many differences, I'm curious as to what you think hasn't changed.MiziS_1305 wrote: ↑26 Jun 2018, 00:29 Romance has always been the same irrespective of time periods. What differs is lust. I just feel that now there is more lust in a relationship than love.