Love

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Saadia13
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Joined: 29 Jun 2018, 15:37
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Love

Post by Saadia13 »

Like a shower of rain you stir my sensitivity
Like a pearl of flower you enchanted me
I was indifferent of you
But your magic words put life in me
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palilogy
Posts: 477
Joined: 05 Jun 2018, 16:24
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Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-palilogy.html
Latest Review: Mistress Suffragette by Diana Forbes

Post by palilogy »

"I was indifferent of you"
There is your poem - expand more on this - less imagery and cliches.
Really dig into the tone and meaning.
Latest Review: Mistress Suffragette by Diana Forbes
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KatSims92
Posts: 205
Joined: 21 Jun 2018, 13:01
Currently Reading: The Beauty Myth
Bookshelf Size: 451
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-katsims92.html
Latest Review: From Drift to SHIFT by Jody B. Miller

Post by KatSims92 »

I think you have a great start to this poem if you wanted to expand it more. But, I love the images and the feelings you're trying to evoke. Good work!
Latest Review: From Drift to SHIFT by Jody B. Miller
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