What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?
- jasmeen narula
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Re: What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?
- vwalter93
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When addressing the question of it the father is the only person responsible, I think it's important to think about responsibility versus fault. It's definitely his fault, he's the one to blame for much of the turmoil, but I don't think it's soley his responsibility. Responsibility falls on everyone. Hear me out, I am in no way victim-blaming as it is never anyone's fault that they are abused. We do have to think about our reaction to the things that happen to us and how we respond.
If available, talking to a counselor is the best route in my opionion. You have to be able to let out all the horrible things that happen and much of that occurs when you talk about them. Bringing things into the light often requires that we take leaps of faith and open up to someone. Counselors can not only be there to listen, but they also are trained professionals that will be able to help you navigate healing.
I think that depends on the type of abuse. For me, I believe it would be easier to write about verbal and emotional abuse because it's something that's been so commonplace in my life that it seems normal. Recalling conversations I've had with partners, parents, and others, I could effortlessly use them as inspiration for a character.
cristinaro wrote: ↑01 Apr 2018, 16:23 The protagonist in Ironbark Hill is sixteen-year-old Natalie Chapman. She has to cope with verbal, physical and psychological abuse from an alcoholic stepfather. Her answer is fighting back mistreatment and finding a refuge in art.
What is your view on the matter? Is the alcoholic father the only responsible in the family equation? Which are the best means of responding to abuse and other traumatic experiences? Do you think it is difficult for a writer to describe abusive situations?
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- kislany
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Some of the best means of responding to abuse and other traumatic experience is to have therapy, talk to friends and non-abusive family, and doing anything to stop the abuse. Having therapy would help relax the victim after the abuse was over, and slowly get rid of trauma. Talking to friends would also help the victim cope with abuse and trauma, and would give them someone to talk to about their problems instead of bottling them up. Trying to stop the abuse, such as reporting it to the police or escaping, would also help a person stop the abuse and then be able to receive treatment or help. Unfortunately, none of these options are available if the person is still being abused and does not have access to outside resources.
Unless the author has personally experienced abusive situations, it would be very difficult for a writer to describe those situations. Only a real victim could truly describe the horrible experiences. People who have not experienced abusive situations would usually not understand the trauma, and would also not understand the true severity and torture of being abused.
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I think it may be difficult for a writer who has never experienced an abusive situation or spoken to one who has to adequately describe an abusive situation. Some writers are quite creative though.
- f-callisaya
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This may be the case sometimes, but not always (or even often, in my experience). I currently live in the Midwest and grew up in the South, all in small insular towns like you're describing. In all of them there were instances of severe abuse being covered up and excused because the abuser was related to or best friends with someone. Often the abused person or people would be shamed and mocked to shut them up, or accused of lying, and in a few cases they would end up pushed out of the community altogether.KitabuKitamu wrote: ↑08 Apr 2018, 13:57 In the past, we used to have the benefit of community living, where everybody's life was everyone's business. This can aid in prevention of abuse, because it will be easily discovered. Healing is more difficult and takes more than community.
On the flip side, there were a few situations where an innocent person that was generally disliked or disliked by important local people would be accused of some type of abuse and the town would go for vigilante justice with no proof of anything.
Small towns can be great places to live, find community, and raise families. But they are not automatic safe havens, either.
- f-callisaya
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As I grew stronger I was able to focus on finding things that I enjoyed because I enjoyed them not, because girls are supposed to. I've never been able to find a good therapist that I can afford for long, though I've tried a lot and keep searching, but introducing me to myself has been a very therapeutic experience in the meantime.
- KitabuKizuri
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I see your point, It is very unfortunate when such things happen.This may be the case sometimes, but not always (or even often, in my experience). I currently live in the Midwest and grew up in the South, all in small insular towns like you're describing. In all of them there were instances of severe abuse being covered up and excused because the abuser was related to or best friends with someone. Often the abused person or people would be shamed and mocked to shut them up, or accused of lying, and in a few cases they would end up pushed out of the community altogether.
On the flip side, there were a few situations where an innocent person that was generally disliked or disliked by important local people would be accused of some type of abuse and the town would go for vigilante justice with no proof of anything.
Small towns can be great places to live, find community, and raise families. But they are not automatic safe havens, either.
- PeaceLoveNature44
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I was watching a documentary about children in the early years and womb. They say a mothers Trauma she goes through, any emotional etc, get's passed to the baby, and on to theirs, etc, etc. If they don't learn to deal with that emotional trauma. I thought it very interesting, because it made me want to know his mom more, and her story. I hope to teach my children how to deal with emotional stuff, because I know I've had issues.Bookmermaid wrote: ↑21 May 2018, 11:04 Agreed and it could easily breed a cycle of violence that can sometimes be passed on for generations.
- Samantha Simoneau
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This is basically what I was going to say, except you beat me to the punch and worded it far better than I would have. I admire authors that aren't afraid to shine a light on difficult situations and ugliness in the world without glorifying it. We need to be aware of these things and help victims, even if it's just through spreading awareness.BDTheresa wrote: ↑02 Apr 2018, 03:36 Natalie fighting back mistreatment and finding a refuge in art is one way to overcome abuse and trauma. The alcoholic father is not the only one responsible in the family equation. The mother is equally responsible. Instead of letting her eldest child raise up to the challenge of protecting her and her siblings, the mother should have done that instead. It's her responsibility as a mother to protect her children. The best way to respond to abuse and other traumatic experience is to seek professional help or check out https://www.helpguide.org. I don't think it's difficult for a writer to describe abusive situations if the writer follows the right method which are : (1) experience. If the writer doesn't have experience then the writer should seek out experience from those who overcame their abuse and trauma. No knowledge is small. (2) Seek out understanding from the professional. Those who study these kinds of things (Psychologist).
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