What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?
- perejay
- Posts: 2
- Joined: 07 May 2018, 09:49
- Bookshelf Size: 0
Re: What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?
- Uniquevictor1
- Posts: 1
- Joined: 14 May 2018, 10:45
- Bookshelf Size: 0
I say it over and over, but it’s true.
You will never completely overcome
abuse, as my psychiatrist explained.
There will always be damage, but you
learn how to live with it and unlearn
most damage behaviours. You heal.
Some of the PTSD never quite goes away
but it’s manageable, on the fringes of
your life.
Removing yourself from the situation is
next although, as I discovered even
before the internet and smart phone
age, you can move far away or across
the other side of the world, and all you
do is cut down physical contact, though
that’s a plus. Phones and letters do the
same controlling work they did when
you were living closer.
So going No Contact - whatsoever -
forever - is the next big plus despite the
ongoing attempts (again by letter and
phone) to break you down.
Fortunately I was in a good place then,
husband completely on side, able to
enjoy my young children without the
pressure to abuse them too, and the
abusers already beginning to abuse
them as well which was the tipping
point. Supported by upholding therapy
for 6 years. Good friends. And beginning
to do well in the field of my passion.
- Kristy Khem
- Previous Member of the Month
- Posts: 738
- Joined: 20 Feb 2018, 13:22
- Favorite Book: Carmela
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 183
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kristykhem.html
- Latest Review: Hattie Vavaseur by M. Rebecca Wildsmith
- bruin
- Posts: 287
- Joined: 24 Aug 2016, 14:48
- Currently Reading: Cracking the Genome
- Bookshelf Size: 235
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bruin.html
- Latest Review: Havana 1995 -english version- by Ileana Gonzalez Monserrat
- MAPA06
- Posts: 1
- Joined: 18 May 2018, 02:41
- Bookshelf Size: 0
- Nena_Morena
- Posts: 120
- Joined: 19 Feb 2018, 20:39
- Favorite Book: The Notebook
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 37
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-nena-morena.html
- Latest Review: Getting Used to Success by H.J. Shalev
-
- Posts: 157
- Joined: 23 Apr 2018, 00:04
- Currently Reading: Blood and Roses
- Bookshelf Size: 51
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-elizab8.html
- Latest Review: Ironbark Hill by Jennie Linnane
- PeaceLoveNature44
- Posts: 93
- Joined: 04 May 2018, 08:01
- Favorite Book: Apollo's Raven
- Currently Reading: Cows I Have Known
- Bookshelf Size: 73
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-peacelovenature44.html
- Latest Review: Apollo's Raven by Linnea Tanner
- Bukari
- Posts: 567
- Joined: 04 Feb 2018, 15:59
- Currently Reading: Everything Solid Has a Shadow
- Bookshelf Size: 99
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bukari.html
- Latest Review: Days of the Giants by RJ Petrella
- P Reefer
- Posts: 601
- Joined: 06 May 2018, 08:13
- Favorite Book: The Lost Identity Casualties
- Currently Reading: De Facto Feminisn
- Bookshelf Size: 159
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-p-reefer.html
- Latest Review: The McCoys Before The Feud by Thomas McCoy
If I could think of some activities that may assist in getting past the hurt, it would most certainly entail forgiving the offender in order to free oneself from the burden and danger of revenge. Additionally, I would strongly suggest adopting a sport of choice and reading as a means of escape from the unpleasant memories.
- VirgoRules2018
- Posts: 19
- Joined: 07 Feb 2018, 14:21
- Currently Reading: Who Told You That You Were Naked?
- Bookshelf Size: 5
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-virgorules2018.html
- Latest Review: Puffy and the Formidable Foe by Marie Lepkowski and Ann Marie Hannon
It is a sad reality that many have grown up with...and it affects them later on in life. If they do not get some type of healing, their relationships become tainted by the scars, they previously suffered when they were in that abusive relationship.
I think that to heal, the first step is recognition. If you do not realize that the negative actions and words being hurled in your direction equates to 'abuse'.... you may not know that you need to take steps to get away. It is sad when the abuser is someone who is supposed to protect you, keep you safe and love you. It is so hard for children to admit to themselves that their parent's or guardians are being abusive.. .. and that the actions being directed towards them is not right.
There is so much to be said about this topic...because it is complicated by the layers of life that can sometimes be associated with abusive relationships. These are the people close to us, in our lives who are treating us poorly. The answer and the solutions for each case...and path to help us overcome abuse and trauma will never be easy...but as long as you take steps in the right direction to get out and away from your abuser..it means you are on the road to recovery.
- khusnick
- Posts: 82
- Joined: 25 May 2017, 17:20
- Currently Reading: Atlas Shrugged
- Bookshelf Size: 30
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-khusnick.html
- Latest Review: The Elf Coup - Book Three of the Magi Charter by Jordan David
- bootsie0126+
- Posts: 284
- Joined: 11 Mar 2018, 19:36
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 285
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bootsie0126.html
- Latest Review: The Reel Sisters by Michelle Cummings
- Reading Device: B01GEW27DA
I applaud your courage to break free from that relationship. Abuse in any form (emotional, verbal, or physical) is a terrible thing to go through. The damage that is caused from an abusive relationship could last a life time. Some people are able to escape and go on to live a healthy life, with the help of therapy or counseling, however some people's scars from an abusive relationship are so deep, that even though they may have removed themselves from the situation, are still unable to truly live a healthy life. I am glad that you were able to find refuge in other things. Being able to talk about the situation is a step in the right direction to healing.
- NL Hartje
- Previous Member of the Month
- Posts: 1262
- Joined: 04 Jan 2018, 12:58
- Favorite Book: Kushiel's Dart
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 385
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-nl-hartje.html
- Latest Review: Looking forward as the Journey continues by George Mills
Thank you for your positive and uplifting words. They are appreciated and brought a smilebootsie0126+ wrote: ↑21 May 2018, 02:03I applaud your courage to break free from that relationship. Abuse in any form (emotional, verbal, or physical) is a terrible thing to go through. The damage that is caused from an abusive relationship could last a life time. Some people are able to escape and go on to live a healthy life, with the help of therapy or counseling, however some people's scars from an abusive relationship are so deep, that even though they may have removed themselves from the situation, are still unable to truly live a healthy life. I am glad that you were able to find refuge in other things. Being able to talk about the situation is a step in the right direction to healing.
-Dr. Seuss
- bootsie0126+
- Posts: 284
- Joined: 11 Mar 2018, 19:36
- Currently Reading:
- Bookshelf Size: 285
- Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bootsie0126.html
- Latest Review: The Reel Sisters by Michelle Cummings
- Reading Device: B01GEW27DA
You are correct that there is no one standard way to deal with abuse. The damage caused by abuse are numerous. The emotional, physical and mental problems that can occur from abuse is devastating. In spite of the fact that a person may no longer be in an abusive environmet, then resulting damage could take a person years to overcome. Some people hold resentment, anger and revengeful thoughts inside without ever dealing with them. A person can not heal with these types of emotions festering away inside of them.Bookmermaid wrote: ↑19 May 2018, 13:46 Abuse and trauma are emotionally draining experiences that can sometimes have a crippling effect on an individual's motivation and willpower? There is certainly no one way in which an individual can overcome abuse and trauma.
If I could think of some activities that may assist in getting past the hurt, it would most certainly entail forgiving the offender in order to free oneself from the burden and danger of revenge. Additionally, I would strongly suggest adopting a sport of choice and reading as a means of escape from the unpleasant memories.