What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

[Zain A Blade]

In my personal view, no one person is responsible for abuse, the victim also plays an active role as the enabler. And chances are, the same pattern will be repeated in the life of the abused - which shows that it is something ingrained in them. And the way to heal is to free oneself form the original core event and the emotions surrounding it. It requires deeper healing. Otherwise, chances are they will continue to attract abusive partners in adulthood.

[k2rugman]

Fortunately, my exposure to abuse in my own life has been minimal but when I was facing it I turned to writing as an outlet. I also turned to those who I knew loved me and it helped a lot.

[ayoomisope]

Natalie fighting back mistreatment and finding a refuge in art is one way to overcome abuse and trauma. The alcoholic father is not the only one responsible in the family equation. The mother is equally responsible. Instead of letting her eldest child raise up to the challenge of protecting her and her siblings, the mother should have done that instead. It's her responsibility as a mother to protect her children. The best way to respond to abuse and other traumatic experience is to seek professional help or check out https://www.helpguide.org. I don't think it's difficult for a writer to describe abusive situations if the writer follows the right method which are : (1) experience. If the writer doesn't have experience then the writer should seek out experience from those who overcame their abuse and trauma. No knowledge is small. (2) Seek out understanding from the professional. Those who study these kinds of things (Psychologist).

Wow. This is a very comprehensive response. I totally agree with all your points. Thanks for the link provided. Abuse is real and very tragic occurrence, and it is good information like on this thread is available to those who need it.

[Mr Benji]

One way to one overcome trauma is to speak with your pastor. And you must forgive the abuser so you can move on. Though the pain hurts, one must move on.

[Sanyesto]

For Natalie's case, for example, she can deal with this issue in only one way and that is to report! Report to all the relevant individuals and authorities that can assist her and the rest of the family from the evil acts of the alcoholic father.

[MMJ 47]

Most of time people who is in abuse relationship try to get help. But some of them is very afraid to do so.

[Lennycat]

I think the journey of overcoming abuse is different for everyone. Survivors each heal in their own way as they struggle to find their way back to the path of recovery.

[azerikaj]

I don't know...I have met people who recovered best by doing a lot of delving, and others who preferred to put one foot in front of the other more.
I really enjoy Toni Morrison's writing too, but the intensity means it takes a while to read one--still think "The Bluest Eye" is the best since she kept it simple.

[KitabuKizuri]

In the past, we used to have the benefit of community living, where everybody's life was everyone's business. This can aid in prevention of abuse, because it will be easily discovered. Healing is more difficult and takes more than community.

[lbhatters]

What is your view on the matter? Is the alcoholic father the only responsible in the family equation? Which are the best means of responding to abuse and other traumatic experiences? Do you think it is difficult for a writer to describe abusive situations?
[/quote]

I think the alcoholic father is the main responsible one in the family. The best way to respond is to leave the situation.
To deal with something so bad you need a support group. Taking up a hobby like art or sewing and keeping yourself active in sports is the only way to deal with stress. But you probably can never force someone to change. If you stay away long enough they will learn the consequences of their behavior. It's the only way they will change I think.

[Sakilunamermaid]

When it comes to abuse and traumatic experiences it varies person to person how that will impact their lives and everyone deals with the experience differently. Art is a very common outlet to express and work through emotional and mental traumas. I've found that a lot of artists are wounded/ misunderstood/ have a rough past. Its hard for everyone to write about abuse, especially if someone has experienced it first hand. It is a very important issue that needs to be addressed and every survivor has a different story, experience, and perspective that helped them through it. Sometimes you can be part of the same experience and not have the same feelings or reactions regarding it. The mind and emotions are quite difficult when it comes to abuse and coping.

[Spirit Wandering]

I would agree with the recommendation of therapy but, based on my own experience, I would specifically focus on two ideas. First, is to work toward getting to a place of forgiveness. This is not an easy thing and requires releasing the pain and resentment first. However, forgiveness is ultimately not for the benefit of the abuser but rather for the person who has been abused. I sincerely believe that, without this, one continues to hold on to their core of pain, no matter how much therapy and behavior modification they experience. Second, I think conscious self awareness is a critical element. By this I mean the ability to recognize when one's reactions to current situations are being triggered by unconscious past memories of trauma and abuse. Conscious response re-patterning is essential.

[Van112]

Natalie fighting back mistreatment and finding a refuge in art is one way to overcome abuse and trauma. The alcoholic father is not the only one responsible in the family equation. The mother is equally responsible. Instead of letting her eldest child raise up to the challenge of protecting her and her siblings, the mother should have done that instead. It's her responsibility as a mother to protect her children. The best way to respond to abuse and other traumatic experience is to seek professional help or check out https://www.helpguide.org. I don't think it's difficult for a writer to describe abusive situations if the writer follows the right method which are : (1) experience. If the writer doesn't have experience then the writer should seek out experience from those who overcame their abuse and trauma. No knowledge is small. (2) Seek out understanding from the professional. Those who study these kinds of things (Psychologist).

Thumbs up to the post above. Natalie's way of diverting what happened through art is a very meaningful thing which actually is used as a coping mechanism for those who were abuse.

I, too, believe about the power of experience. A good graps of all things really come from experience. And for a writer indeed to be able to fully express a book like this, they should consider interviewing people who have been abused if they have no first hand basis.

I think the best way to overcome abuse and trauma is to accept first that you have been under the two, or you have experienced it. Because in acceptance actually comes healing you can't just go on trying to forget what happened. You have to be accepting of what happened. And afterwards, you forgive the people who did it to you and yourself.

Seeking counsel would actually be a big help.

[BeatrixPotter]

The best way is with professional counseling intervention. Victims need a lot of patience and empathy as they often feel that they are responsible for causing the abuse. They have low self esteem and need to learn how to value themselves.

[Oceanside]

The best way to overcome abuse and trauma is to find an outlet for your emotions. Whether that's talking to someone, doing something physical, creative, finding solace in religion, or a combination of all these things. It's important to not hold these bad feelings in. I definitely agree that a writer needs to have experienced something for themselves, or talked with someone who has dealt with abuse or something traumatic otherwise it can come across as ingenuine and be offensive to someone who has experienced abuse.