3 out of 4 stars
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I Was a Yo-Yo Wife…Until I Learnt THIS by Vivian Probst is a book in the non-fiction genre. It is more in the nature of a semi-autobiographical account where the author narrates her journey, to aid those trying to overcome roadblocks in their relationships.
Briefly, the author was brought up expecting to fit in a missionary style of life. The marital discord between her parents adversely shaped her attitude towards life and herself. Added to that, the author’s first marriage didn’t turn out as she hoped, leading to a divorce, and separation from her kids as well. Fate arranged for the author to meet her second husband, however, unfortunately for the author issues came up in her second marriage too. How does she defeat these issues, rediscover herself, and resurrect her marriage?
“Did you know that the National Center for Disease Control and Prevention keeps track of marriage and divorce statistics? I don’t find that encouraging—do you? They also monitor statistics on disease and epidemics, which could suggest that if marriage is a “disease,” divorce would be its fatal consequence.” This illuminating observation is the focal point of the book, because the author helps the reader to cure the hiccups in a relationship.
Much of this book reads like fiction, as the author’s takes the reader through the various emotional encounters in her life. This was an important aspect of the writing style, because the author conveys much of her advice using her life experiences as an example. This is quite useful, as it helps the reader relate with her experiences and learn from her example.
The pattern of the book is pretty straightforward. The book is divided into three parts, which are further subdivided into several chapters. Each chapter begins with a quote either by the author herself or by someone else. The author also provides relevant material from other sources, to give the readers an in-depth insight. The first part is largely the narrative section where the author brings the reader up to speed with her life history. The second part is the crucial section where the author explains what she calls the ‘Magnificent Seven Wonders of the Inner World’, and how the reader should go about rediscovering themselves, healing themselves, developing a new outlook to life, and then finally apply these changes to their relationship. The third part looks at the how to preserve the lesson and continue applying it in their lives.
Much of the book revolves around the author emphasizing on ‘THIS’. Throughout the book, the author writes about ‘THIS’, but she never exactly spells it out for the readers. ‘THIS’ is not a well-defined solution which the author proposes; instead it’s a way of overcoming the barriers to a healthy relationship which the author mentions. For example, how an individual should stop blaming oneself, recognize the ‘orphans’ or the problems which are suppressed within oneself, and not let other’s opinions affect our opinion of ourselves.
While the book was engaging, I felt that there were portions where the author is going around in circles. As a guide, the author could have put forward her viewpoint in an uncomplicated manner. There are portions where the reader would appreciate what the author is saying, but at the same time would be confused as to how apply it in their lives.
According to the author, “a Yo-Yo wife is a woman who gives up and leaves a committed relationship for a wide variety of reasons. Then she comes back.” The author’s experience of how she stopped being a Yo-Yo wife is worth a read, and readers who are encountering similar issues in their lives, should definitely give this one a try. I rate it 3 out of 4 stars.
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I Was A Yo-Yo Wife...Until I Learned THIS
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