Official Review: Living Forward After Loss by Kathleen Ho

[EvaDar]

[Following is an official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Living Forward After Loss" by Kathleen Ho.]

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2 out of 4 stars

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When your spouse dies, you instantly earn 100 points – the highest value on the psychological scale that measures human stress. Losing a spouse is considered the most stressful event that can befall a human. Author Kathleen Ho has earned those 100 points, and she shares her strategies for moving beyond grief in her 2020 book, Living Forward After Loss: Rebuilding Your Life After Losing Your Life Partner.

After 10 years of marriage, Ho lost her husband David to a stroke. She relates aspects of her own grief process and reassures readers that the pain will lessen and life will eventually feel more tolerable and even joyful.

Ho offers her personal advice as well as some cognitive-behavioral methods to assist readers with navigating grief. Everyone’s grief process is unique in duration and intensity, and Ho encourages fully feeling the whole spectrum of emotion. She also recommends journaling your thoughts and feelings and exercising regularly for the neuro-chemical benefits.

Once the author’s grief had dissipated some, she began re-engaging in activities she enjoyed and eventually was able to honor her partner’s legacy by educating others about the dangers of high blood pressure. Living Forward wraps up with strategies for re-entering the social world, embracing gratitude and even finding love again.

I enjoyed several aspects of this book. Kathleen Ho’s personal story is heartbreaking and will resonate with anyone grieving a departed spouse. Some of the strategies for moving beyond the grief are time-tested and will offer readers guideposts during an emotional time. The do’s and don’ts of supporting others in grief is a valuable inclusion as people invariably say precisely the wrong thing.

The book is presented as a self-help book. Kathleen Ho’s authentic desire to help others through their grief is evident in her writing, That said, I think the book would have worked better as a memoir. Sharing one’s experience is inspiring, but prescribing methods for working through the complexities of deep grief may be over-reaching for a layperson. The author has researched the topic and includes a substantial bibliography but at times seems to not understand the full scope of her advice.

Ho, who has no stated psychology training, recommends strategies that worked for her but misses that some suggestions may not be indicated for others. The importance of having a positive attitude is emphasized throughout the book. Ho reiterates the importance of accepting and fully experiencing the pain of grief but frequently confounds the guidance, as with this flippant caution about dating “bitter people with too much baggage who cry about their late spouse.”

The author writes, “You will not be afraid of anything in your life anymore,” once you have worked through grief. Even if such a thing were possible, stating it as a certainty is naïve at best. Late in the book, Ho writes that a year and a half out from her husband’s death she is still afraid when she thinks of the future. These seeming contradictions diminish the author’s credibility and may confuse readers earnestly seeking solutions.

The book is structured well and is divided into manageable chapters and sections. The first 40 pages contain 10 errors, mostly in the form of subject-verb disagreement and syntax problems. Considering the frequency of the errors and the underdeveloped advice, I award Living Forward After Loss 2 out of 4 stars.

Despite the author’s pure intentions, the book falls short as a self-help effort. Anyone who has lost a spouse, however, will feel an affinity with Ho’s experience and may derive some helpful ideas for navigating the grief process.

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Living Forward After Loss
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[Kirsi Cultrera]

I am one of those people who never know what to say or how to face someone who has suffered a loss of a loved one. Maybe this book would be helpful in figuring that out...

thank you for your insightful review!

[_Lindsey_]

It's a shame that the advice was not developed well enough and that the errors were so frequent, as it sounds like the author had a lot of valuable insight to offer. The book certainly sounds like it has a powerful message and a lot of relatable content to anyone who may be going through such an awful time. Thanks for the review.

[Alice Heritage]

You astutely point out where the author goes too far with her advice. It's so important to include a disclaimer with books like these. Thanks for another great review!

[Priyanka2304]

The book seems to guide people who have suffered a loss of someone close to them. Finding hope when it seems to have lost is itself one step closer to becoming stronger.

[Fernando222]

This book seems to concentrate on bereaved spouses, letting them know that the next step after mourning is healing and then moving on. You chose a genuinely inspiring book.

[Kanda_theGreat]

I liked your introductory sentence that actually caught me by surprise.
Great review!

[whoisszara]

This book definitely encourages people who have fear for loss......
The story line of the book was quite good but the author did not use any figurative language much to keep the readers interested...

[Daisy Deeh]

wonderful review over there, i've read the book personally and i rated it 3 stars because of the errors otherwise the message of the author was clear . good work

[Hannah Fabro]

This book is a self-help book that helps the readers who had suffered the same loss as author did. It was a good book. But there are just some point that you have to reread the previous paragraphs because it's so detailed. That's one of the negative aspects I noticed on this book.

[Authentic Voice]

I like the introductory paragraph of your review. it captured my attention to consider reading the book.

In the past i have found it had to comfort with those who have experience loss. This book is an eye opener.