Bullying

Discuss the February 2016 book of the month, Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver.
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Insomniac07
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Re: Bullying

Post by Insomniac07 »

I never experienced bullying in my school. I was a weird kid and thankfully my friends never made me feel like an outsider in my own class for which I shall never be grateful enough, especially after reading all your comments. There were cliques such as the popular ones, the brainy ones, etc but we all got along for the most part. If we did not get along with someone, we avoid them. As simple as that. Yeah, there used to be a lot of teasing and bantering which used to suck at first. But it was something everyone did to each other for some lighthearted fun. I eventually even got good at teasing people back.
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Post by abithacker »

Bullying isn't really something that I ever saw at my high school. Bullying was something that was presented to us students as taboo. If someone was being bullied it wasn’t the classic meet-me-behind-the-school-after-class, or the public destruction of property. So many people were on the watch for bullying that it was really hard to get away with it. It was also really looked down upon by the student body so there was a bigger chance of getting caught or being ratted out. I think especially as people got older (juniors and seniors) bullying, at least physically, was not something that happened very much at all. The biggest form of bullying was and is verbal and online. Online is huge. The anonymous nature of online gives the bully the ability to hurt someone with the safety of being behind a computer screen.
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Post by Yana-Nav »

In school I don't quite remember whether the bullying was truly announced or not, but I do know that at my school did have, what I would deem, "major" bullying problems. My best friend since forever suffered bullying a lot, and it went unnoticed for the longest time. But in school we didn't have defined groups like "nerds", or "jocks", we all intertwined together, we mostly hung out with people we spent the most time with, or we would be in the library, talking or tutoring mostly. But, I don't know for all schools, but my school in particular, the whole bullying problem was seemingly undermined and passed off as if it didn't cause trouble amongst the students. The bullying problem at my school was horrifying to fathom. I seen my best friend, and many other people, suffer from the words and bullying of our peers.
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Post by Brittster »

KAV wrote:Maybe I'm crazy or just naive, but I don't remember there being that much bullying in my school. I know this is a huge topic in schools now, but I graduated with about 700 people, less than 10 years ago. I remember there being the "popular kids, the band geeks, the nerds," etc but no one went out of there way to make fun of someone. There never would have been a dumping beer episode at my school or cruel nicknames that follow you through the years like "mellow yellow." People just hung out with their own friends and left everyone else alone. We even has a school ambassador program so new kids would have someone to eat with at lunch until they made friends of there own.

Did anyone else really have this much bullying and issues at there high school?
I feel like their was a little bullying when I was in high school but nothing like that. I also feel like most if the time it was started because someone was being a jerk to begin with and then everyone was was against them. I am a fourth grade teacher now and my husband teaches middle school. Most of the bullying we see isn't bullying at all. It's just a kid who isn't getting there way pitching a fit to mommy. Real serious bullying is fairly rare but does still happen. I'm sure it carries from school to school also.
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Post by Terrylynsmith »

I didn't have to deal with bullying in my day too much, but my son is catching it! There a group of kids at his school that is taking turns fighting him because he refused to fight them back in the beginning. Although they were getting suspended, my son still faced issues of being called a b#tch, chicken, the weakest link...ect, because he never fault back.

Now when kids walk up and hit him...for no reason, because they know he's not a fighter...he has started to fight them back. He's protecting himself since he was savagely beat the last time. Now we find out, IF a student protects himself, EVEN if he did not START or PASSED the first lick, he still gets suspended for PARTICIPATING. I mean, really? WTF? They want him to allow these bullies to beat on him, to not protect himself, in order to not get suspended.

What is a parent to do?

Confused as $ell :evil:
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Post by CLRogers90 »

KAV, it sounds like you had a very positive highschool experience. Unfortunately highschool bullying is still very real and very threatening. My sister had a brick thrown at her head in her Sophomore year of high school just because we lived in a backwards town where simply dying one's hair a bright color would label one as "abnormal". This is also still a daily issue for members of the LGBT community in particular.
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Post by Vermont Reviews »

Bullying has been a problem for quite a few years now. We need to put a stop to it. Get involved and voice your opinion.
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Post by Lycaonia »

Bullying is more of a "black market" type thing. It doesn't usually involve messy cafeteria episodes, or large fights. Victims tend to keep quite out of fear, and bullies tend to be more sly so that if they get caught they could talk there way through it. So, unless you're a victim yourself, you often won't notice it.
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Post by Shadowhunter123 »

Bullying is unfortunately very prevalent in high schools today. In mine, there are many different friend groups, and while most people are very kind, there are some people that bully others. However, at my school people will usually talk about one person one day and then skip to another the next the next day, but in my freshman year I witnessed constant cyberbullying within my friend group. They taunted a boy online that they though was annoying and didn't really have any friends. I, along with a couple of my other friends, tried to stick up for him when it got really bad, but unfortunately they didn't stop. However, I did not become a target after that. He reported the situation to the website, and then it eventually stopped.

I have also experienced bullying, as I was bullied in preschool. Many people (such as my parents) don't believe me, but I was constantly picked on by one of my classmates and it felt awful. I would fake sick everyday in order to stay home, but my parents made me go. Even when I told my teacher about the bullying, she did absolutely nothing about it.
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Post by Vermont Reviews »

My grandchildren have to deal with this issue daily at school.

-- 25 Apr 2016, 06:06 --
Skoraeus wrote:I have tons of experience in this. I don't know if this count as bullying, but I have been taunted and teased at my Freshmen and Sophomore year. It sucks, really. Is kinda bad as well, the thoughts and negative thinking I had in fear of going school on a daily basis. Learning turns out to be a horror, a nightmare. But things started to get way better when I'm in my Junior year. I made many friends, few of whom are still close friends, even now. No longer the scrawny kid I used to be in the first two year of high school. Had a growth spurt or such, made me more 'intimidating'. I can't enjoyably say that high school was my best memory. First two years was an absolute nightmare, but the last two years turns out to be the most exciting aspects of my life. I still badly missed high school. Hanged out regularly with friends at all during the beginning of Junior year. Irony isn't it? Turns out I was quite well known and respected throughout the last two years, a friendly person which everybody instantly took a liking to. A complete contrast from the sadist I used to be. But anyway, bullying sucks. I would go out of my way just to help others in need, and I do hope each individual here would help the bullied ones as well. Make the society a better place to live in.

It is our responsibility to get involved and make a difference.
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Post by lmoses »

I think the biggest difference between bullying now and 10 years ago is the use of the internet. It is so easy for people to write hateful and cruel things to people and never have to look them in the face. Go onto any online media and you can find comments about people. When I was in school, bullying was done to your face and you had a chance to defend yourself, but a lot of teenagers that I work with never have the option to confront their bullies, because it is done anonymously or through fake accounts. Cyber-bullying has become HUGE and unfortunately as much as people try to regulate this, it is only getting worse.
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Post by Rhoe_Marrow »

I think bullying was more subtle back when I was in high school. No one fully understood at that time how talking about another person could be so damaging, but when you are a teenager you do that. not because you genuinely feel evil thoughts towards another person, but because you have this genuine need to want to "fit in", as a result it turns into this horrible pyramid of who is the best.
Now I work in a high school. Bullying hasn't changed. the reason why are still the same. its just that the bullying has gotten much louder, and due to the internet (where everything is relevant, permanent and easily accessible) has become much more harmful to ones reputation and (God forbid) their quality of life. I hear rumors of people unable to get jobs because of a raunchy picture they post on their facebook feeds

-- 27 Apr 2016, 10:34 --

I think bullying was more subtle back when I was in high school. No one fully understood at that time how talking about another person could be so damaging, but when you are a teenager you do that. not because you genuinely feel evil thoughts towards another person, but because you have this genuine need to want to "fit in", as a result it turns into this horrible pyramid of who is the best.
Now I work in a high school. Bullying hasn't changed. the reason why are still the same. its just that the bullying has gotten much louder, and due to the internet (where everything is relevant, permanent and easily accessible) has become much more harmful to ones reputation and (God forbid) their quality of life. I hear rumors of people unable to get jobs because of a raunchy picture they post on their facebook feeds

-- 27 Apr 2016, 10:38 --
Terrylynsmith wrote:I didn't have to deal with bullying in my day too much, but my son is catching it! There a group of kids at his school that is taking turns fighting him because he refused to fight them back in the beginning. Although they were getting suspended, my son still faced issues of being called a b#tch, chicken, the weakest link...ect, because he never fault back.

Now when kids walk up and hit him...for no reason, because they know he's not a fighter...he has started to fight them back. He's protecting himself since he was savagely beat the last time. Now we find out, IF a student protects himself, EVEN if he did not START or PASSED the first lick, he still gets suspended for PARTICIPATING. I mean, really? WTF? They want him to allow these bullies to beat on him, to not protect himself, in order to not get suspended.

What is a parent to do?

Confused as $ell :evil:
I have your same worries mama! although my son is only 18 months olds, I work at the schools and see what these kids have to face on the daily. its a harsh school work and the rules are not adapting as fast as they should.
Also, respect to your son for being man enough to rise about the foolishness for as long as he did. it is a sad truth that any child, even if they are defending themselves, are subject to punishment for fighting
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Post by HalcyonFlower »

I feel it's a hit and miss with high school. Personally, I went through bullying in elementary so high school was just a time of growth. But some kids got it really bad, especially the ones who didn't dress 'well' or didn't have smooth skin. In my last year, there were friends falling out more than there was bullying but those who didn't fit in with the group anymore would say they were bullied. We didn't have anything incredibly terrible, like suicides because of bullying thank goodness. It's really frightening how quick things get around and harm others nowadays, especially at an age where everyone is super sensitive.
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Post by aparsons »

I teach in an urban first grade classroom, and the bullying is horrific. My kids are super sensitive to anything anyone ever does. I swear I had a kid who complained someone breathed on him. Ugh. Granted, some of the attacks are legitimately cruel and hurtful, but my kids don't even know the difference.
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Post by Sloray689 »

I witnessed mor bullying in middle school than high school I would say. No one ever bothered me much, but in middle school you would hear kids making rude comments, specifically to fat, foreign or "weird" kids. By mid-highschool though I feel like a lot of that went away. The older we got, the more everyone started focusing on the future, the world outside of our little school. Suddenly what brand your shoes were or what language you speak at home wasn't as important. every was coexisting, sometimes working together, to pull through the last years of cocoon life and get ready to blossom.
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