One of my poems

This is the place for readers of poetry. Discuss poetry and literary art. You can also discuss music here, including lyrics. Also, you can discuss poets themselves, in addition to poetry.
User avatar
Inspiro Assistant
Posts: 137
Joined: 24 Jul 2011, 01:31
Bookshelf Size: 0

One of my poems

Post by Inspiro Assistant »

This is the poem I write when I was in college. I just use ordinary words. Feel free to give me a comment.

YOU are the one I use as my tool
In building my dreams in the world so cruel
You make everything so perfect to me
Makes me smile and happy

You're always there every time I need you
Following my commands in all I want to do
We sing together, we strum together
We painted dreams with each other

You wipe my tears, you stroke my hair
We never fall apart, we're always near
If you are taken away from me, I'll be mad
We're so inseparable, 'cos you are my HAND

Do you guess the title? Yes, it's "Hand"
Kevin9
Posts: 2
Joined: 20 Jun 2011, 08:04
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Kevin9 »

Awesome poem is written by you, such a great word of mixture in this poem really impressive words speechless to say about your poem.
User avatar
Kdor11
Posts: 41
Joined: 11 Jul 2011, 09:41
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Kdor11 »

Very well done! I like the type of poem where the inspiration is revealed in the end :wink:
User avatar
Inspiro Assistant
Posts: 137
Joined: 24 Jul 2011, 01:31
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Inspiro Assistant »

Thanks Kevin and Kdor! I've written that 11 years ago and just keep it. Your words gave me confidence. Thank you guys!
User avatar
Robin jackson
Posts: 151
Joined: 25 Jul 2011, 10:20
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Robin jackson »

YOU are the one I use as my tool
this line is amazing loved it :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:
title should be Mad love
User avatar
Cheryl Rendone
Posts: 181
Joined: 17 Jan 2014, 22:00
Favorite Author: Ellen Hopkins
Favorite Book: Identical
Currently Reading: Red Dragon
Bookshelf Size: 34
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-cheryl-rendone.html
Latest Review: Third Chances by Dan Petrosini
Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU
fav_author_id: 3134

Post by Cheryl Rendone »

Great poem!! I'd like to guess that the title is "you"? :)
User avatar
princesskhym
Posts: 8
Joined: 18 Mar 2014, 23:58
Bookshelf Size: 0
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-princesskhym.html

Post by princesskhym »

I must say this is a great poem you wrote. The last line is my favorite! :)
User avatar
tmoore1990
Posts: 15
Joined: 21 Mar 2014, 15:57
Bookshelf Size: 0
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-tmoore1990.html

Post by tmoore1990 »

Lovely poem. Simple, yet it's deep enough to keep me wondering until the end.
tennent10
Posts: 47
Joined: 25 Mar 2014, 15:13
Bookshelf Size: 0
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-tennent10.html

Post by tennent10 »

I like the variation of words, it's really good. It got the point across and it wasn't to long, nor to short. Very good.
User avatar
RisingDownfall
Posts: 12
Joined: 25 Mar 2014, 15:21
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by RisingDownfall »

I wasn't expecting the twist at the end. Good job!
ryancody
Posts: 30
Joined: 19 May 2014, 04:48
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by ryancody »

Well written...I love reading love poems a lot and you wrote lovely.
NakedSoulPoet
Posts: 23
Joined: 06 Jun 2014, 10:06
Bookshelf Size: 1
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-nakedsoulpoet.html

Post by NakedSoulPoet »

Love the twist at the end. Nice write
amen jamir
Posts: 214
Joined: 10 Jun 2014, 05:10
Favorite Author: Jane Austen
Favorite Book: Wuthering Heights
Bookshelf Size: 3
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-amen-jamir.html
Latest Review: "Immoral Society (Book One)" by Catherine Hudson
fav_author_id: 2379

Post by amen jamir »

Lovely poem!

-- 27 Jun 2014, 10:16 --

Lovely poem!
Latest Review: "Immoral Society (Book One)" by Catherine Hudson
Genaaa
Posts: 221
Joined: 09 Sep 2016, 21:51
Bookshelf Size: 18
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-genaaa.html
Latest Review: "A Messiahs Battle For The Human Realm" by Roberto Torres Rivera

Post by Genaaa »

This is actually really cool as the whole poem came together at the end.
Latest Review: "A Messiahs Battle For The Human Realm" by Roberto Torres Rivera
User avatar
revna01
Posts: 1087
Joined: 13 Mar 2018, 00:39
Currently Reading: Storm Front
Bookshelf Size: 143
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-revna01.html
Latest Review: Rufus: A Boy's Extraordinary Experiences in the Civil War by Phoebe Sheldon

Post by revna01 »

Poems are such a personal thing, thank you for sharing. You did a great job and be didn't reveal the title to the end, which was a nice twist.
Post Reply

Return to “Poetry & Music”