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Unbroken Heart

Posted: 08 May 2018, 11:12
by CHRIS2428
Unbroken Heart

It was innocent and happy
when it first came to see the beauty
of life and love.

It was cheerful and graceful
when it tries to love
and have given it all.

But when melancholy hits
its inner core, then it suddenly
felt the pain that it never
knew existed.

Unbroken heart then can
be broken when it
started to open.

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 11 Jun 2018, 12:29
by palilogy
I'm not sure if this is about an unbroken heart. I think you left that idea behind and the poem became about something else. Follow where your pen leads you. Perhaps go back and reconsider what you wanted to say and what you did end up saying.

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 19 Jun 2018, 21:34
by ms07
I enjoyed reading your poem very much, I think because it is so relatable to me. I have always been the closed off kind and letting people in is difficult and worrisome. When I let someone into my life, the jolly spirit that people saw in me turned into heartbreak and misery. I do have to admit though, it was worth it for the love I experienced. Thank you for sharing.

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 20 Jun 2018, 01:03
by Litchii
This is a very well written poem. It is honnest and pure. I think everyone can relate to your poem.

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 12 Jul 2018, 14:48
by TaaraLynn
It reminds me of being young and innocent, the heart is so pure and open. Then something tears straight through it; a lie, a truth, death, etc. Or just life in general, no matter what the age. That's what I got from it, my perspective. Either way, I enjoyed this.

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 13 Jul 2018, 12:12
by ChaunMartin
It was nice but I felt like you left something out, what caused you to be brokenhearted and how did you get over it?

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 29 Jul 2018, 22:59
by Shalu jain+1212
"Unbroken heart"
It is poem with a simple meaning. It is well written that an unbroken heart can be broken when it started to open.

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 30 Jul 2018, 02:21
by Mudassir Shehzad
This poen is near to reality. Really heart touching.

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 23 Aug 2018, 10:08
by SMwathi
truly its heart touching. I like it.

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 24 Aug 2018, 12:08
by Innocent Nifty
It's a nice poem but I think the unknotting of embellishments in the reader is a somehow missing...
I know you can work on it and do better. Great work!

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 03 Sep 2018, 16:22
by fatima115
Quite inspiring. It reminds me of the several times my pure heart was broken, then mended, then broken again...

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 05 Sep 2018, 00:20
by Rashmi W
Unbroken heart is your poem name but it ended up with broken heart.
Rewriting the topic or poem would last better

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 02 Oct 2018, 01:12
by Laxmi123
I think if it is a guy see the heart touching beautiful girl then that time his feeling like broken heart,Unbroken Heart means like if one thing wrong, but he likes that one,but he doesn't go that side............

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 02 Oct 2018, 07:11
by Lilian-nyambura
Well done poem reminds me of the past days....

Re: Unbroken Heart

Posted: 03 Oct 2018, 07:34
by Ab001
Reading your poem reminds me of first love.