He inspired Me

This is the place for readers of poetry. Discuss poetry and literary art. You can also discuss music here, including lyrics. Also, you can discuss poets themselves, in addition to poetry.
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Abigail09
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He inspired Me

Post by Abigail09 » 03 Feb 2017, 12:00

He inspired me..........
I watched him swim his heart out
At a point, when he had been in water for too long .
I wondered If he felt tired at all
I didn't stop there
I waited for him to come out
Expecting him to be so exhausted
To walk sluggishly
But his face shone like he had just been mesmerized by something
Then it occurred to me
He just finished doing something that makes him happy .
Sometimes that's all it takes to feel alive again
Doing something that makes us Happy
Feeding the soul .......

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R-Myra
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Post by R-Myra » 13 Mar 2018, 08:56

Abigail09 wrote:
03 Feb 2017, 12:00
He inspired me..........
I watched him swim his heart out
At a point, when he had been in water for too long .
I wondered If he felt tired at all
I didn't stop there
I waited for him to come out
Expecting him to be so exhausted
To walk sluggishly
But his face shone like he had just been mesmerized by something
Then it occurred to me
He just finished doing something that makes him happy .
Sometimes that's all it takes to feel alive again
Doing something that makes us Happy
Feeding the soul .......
This post is so beautiful. Is this your own creation? Because it's really deep. It touched my heart. It has simple words but very effective.
-R

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Abigail09
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Post by Abigail09 » 30 Mar 2018, 02:38

:) :) Thank you . Yes I created the write-up

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crediblereading2
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Post by crediblereading2 » 22 Apr 2018, 22:03

This is beautiful and touching.

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Yazhini
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Post by Yazhini » 26 Apr 2018, 00:05

woah! this is amazing..Keep it up ;) :)

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palilogy
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Post by palilogy » 11 Jun 2018, 13:00

"then it occurred to me" is a great line - i would consider your greatest line in comparison to the entirety of the poem and consider what else can be edited, removed or rearranged to create a poem that is as good as your greatest line.

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Abigail09
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Post by Abigail09 » 09 Nov 2018, 00:37

:D Thank you

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Andrew380
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Post by Andrew380 » 13 Nov 2018, 02:32

This is epic.
"Doing things that makes us happy"
That's one of the keys to success in life

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