Newbie having comma issues
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- Bianka Walter
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Newbie having comma issues
So I see that I'm not the only one that has issues when it comes to commas. The last review I wrote was particularly dismal. There was a sentence that I questioned a few times, but in the end, decided it was right. I was wrong.
I would like to ask opinions on this sentence and get some feedback. It reads as follows:
"Ultimately, those things are swept under the rug as they are introduced to demons, telepathy and possession, and of course… monsters."
I understand that when listing things, commas are needed to separate the list items, however, in this case, I wanted to group telepathy and possession into one item.
Should I have chosen instead to use semi-colons?
Should I have separated the two, even though they went hand in hand in the book?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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- Bianka Walter
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Thanks so much! I feel really bad asking for a recheck. I don't want to sound unappreciative But seeing there are 10 points in it, I will.CatInTheHat wrote: ↑31 Mar 2018, 14:27 I would ask the editor to re-check and explain why. But don't do this if there were more than 4 errors mentioned, as it won't change your score if there are still going to be 4+ errors as you can only ask for re-checks 3 times. And no to semi-colons.
And no to semi-colons. Thought so. Got it
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The sentence isn't incorrect if you want to group "telepathy and possession" together but as you've seen, there's a danger of misreading. I would second the suggestion to submit a recheck request explaining how it was meant to be read. Otherwise, a solution could be to use "as well as" instead of "and":Bianka Walter wrote: ↑31 Mar 2018, 12:18
"Ultimately, those things are swept under the rug as they are introduced to demons, telepathy and possession, and of course… monsters."
I understand that when listing things, commas are needed to separate the list items, however, in this case, I wanted to group telepathy and possession into one item.
Should I have chosen instead to use semi-colons?
Should I have separated the two, even though they went hand in hand in the book?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Ultimately ... they are introduced to demons as well as telepathy and possession, and of course ... monsters.
OR: ... they are introduced to demons and telepathy and possession, as well as ... monsters, of course. (I don't like that as much as it weakens the emphasis on the word monsters).
My top tip: read the section on commas in the Chicago Manual of Style.
- kfwilson6
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You're absolutely right. After thinking it over, it actually helped me with my next reviews. So instead of making a sentence wishy-washy, I've tried to be more clear. I did ask for a recheck and the editor did give me the points, but I totally agree that it wasn't obvious and I should have made it more so. Thanks so much for your feedback!kfwilson6 wrote: ↑14 Apr 2018, 22:22 I agree that it isn't incorrect but when I read it I thought a comma would have been preferable. I may change my mind upon reading the entire paragraph to gain more contextual info but just seeing this sentence alone there wasn't an obvious link between telepathy and possession that didn't also include demons and monsters. Upon deeper reflection I can see that demons and monsters are beings and telepathy and possession are abilities so it makes sense if it is clear from context you grouped for a reason. That being said, I had to let it process for a minute before I came up with that link.
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Here are a couple of examples from StackExchange where the comma is not used to set off the relative clause.
- The computer which I bought yesterday has broken down already.
- Do you have the screwdriver which you borrowed last week?
When the clause is defining, essential, or restrictive (it depends on which grammar book you use), no comma is used.
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"That" would work in both of the above examples.jgraney8 wrote: ↑18 May 2018, 18:00 No, Mildred, you should not assume that you should put a comma before which every time. Read the explanation on Grammarly about using commas with which. When the which clause is necessary for understanding the sentence, you shouldn't use a comma, but you usually will use that in those cases.
Here are a couple of examples from StackExchange where the comma is not used to set off the relative clause.
- The computer which I bought yesterday has broken down already.
In each sentence, the which-clause provides defining or essential information for understanding the sentence.
- Do you have the screwdriver which you borrowed last week?
When the clause is defining, essential, or restrictive (it depends on which grammar book you use), no comma is used.
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"That" would work in both of the above examples.Here are a couple of examples from StackExchange where the comma is not used to set off the relative clause.
- The computer which I bought yesterday has broken down already.
In each sentence, the which-clause provides defining or essential information for understanding the sentence.
- Do you have the screwdriver which you borrowed last week?
When the clause is defining, essential, or restrictive (it depends on which grammar book you use), no comma is used.
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Yes, it would and may even be preferable to many ears, but which also works.
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