Fewer commas,

[RegularGuy3]

What does everyone think about using "sentences" rather than commas for a list of long thoughts or topics. For example:

The

-- 23 Sep 2017, 15:06 --

Accidental submit (fat fingers):

What I meant to complete was:

For example:

The house was not without its charms, but there were too many structural problems to justify buying it. A porch that leaned away from the front door. Windows that seemed to come from another century than the rest of the house and did not fit. Columns that were off center and soon to crumble.

I know the technically accurate way is to create a list with commas or semicolons, but what are your thoughts on using the sentence fragment instead? It reads much cleaner, in my opinion. Ideally, I would maybe use bullet points, but that's not always possible...and not particularly literary.

Anyone else have strong feelings either way?

[kandscreeley]

I don't mind that personally. I think you can be deliberate about incomplete sentences like that and it's okay.

[RegularGuy3]

Thanks for the feedback kandscreeley. I agree that deliberate and selective use is the key.

[Mallory Whitaker]

I agree with what you all have said. It gives it a more conversational and natural feel.

[Manang Muyang]

I do agree, RegularGuy3. The sentence fragments have more impact and are easier to read. But grammar rules (unlike hearts) are hard to break.

P.S. Your post title has a comma. Was this intentional, for effect?

[RegularGuy3]

Miriam Molina - It was intentional. I thought the comma would catch the eye and potentially invite more comments.

[Alice Heritage]

As drafted, your paragraph has a dramatic, punchy sound. It's important to assess whether misreading is possible; here, I don't think it is.

[BoyLazy]

I prefer commas. Long sentences can be difficult to follow and not suggested as per easy reading guidelines

[RegularGuy3]

BoyLazy - in my example, the use of commas would result in a truly unwieldy sentence. The list isn't the type that can be shortened without losing meaning. But to each his own.

[Alice Heritage]

in my example, the use of commas would result in a truly unwieldy sentence. The list isn't the type that can be shortened without losing meaning. But to each his own.

I thought of this thread when I saw this in a book I'm currently reading:

"To my surprise, instead of the faded-brown coat of deer, it was the unmistakable blood-red coats of five animals without antlers that emerged from the foliage.
Fanatiks!
Swords at their belt.
Single file, briskly working their way uphill."

"They were Fanatiks, with swords at their belt, briskly working their way uphill in single file" sounds lacklustre in comparison.

[RegularGuy3]

Great edit, ButterscotchCherrie!

[BoyLazy]

Nice edit.. Butter..

[Christina Rose]

The way you used the sentence fragments gave a more dramatic element to what you wrote, so I definitely see the appeal to using fragments instead of commas. I agree with ButterscotchCherrie about the importance of assessing whether or not it could be misread. I don't know if I would use fragments instead of commas in any form of writing that may be judged on its grammar, though, such as school papers, or even reviews.

[Ali B]

I read and reviewed a book recently that had so many commas breaking up the sentences. Even the title had a comma!

Example sentence from the very start of the book: Greg had been sending her text messages for some time. Often, they were greetings, in the morning, at night, on school holidays; or good luck wishes on exams, debates, and mock trials.

It continued like this throughout the book and I found it distracting and eventually irritating. I couldn’t work out the authors intention in what I felt was complete overuse of punctuation.

Is it personal preference, something subjective? Or is it grammatical error?

[Rosemary Wright]

As a writer, you should know when and where to use your commas. Writing without adding the commas at the right places, makes it difficult for your readers to read and understand. Punctuations definitely were created for a good purpose.