Insecurity

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ciecheesemeister
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Insecurity

Post by ciecheesemeister »

It has been a very difficult month. My car died on me on a remote country road and getting it repaired wiped out my savings. My self-esteem is pretty shaky at the best of times and it really took a hit when I thought back on all the stupid things that I did in the past and the fact that I never managed to save any money. I have ADHD and high levels of anxiety plus complex PTSD. I also tend to experience imposter syndrome whenever I feel like I'm doing well with anything. In other words, I'm a hot mess.
I do write my own stuff but I'm never going to feature any of it here. I'm strictly a reviewer. However, I almost quit doing both because I was feeling so bad about everything.
I'm not the sort of person who makes connections easily, so I doubt that this will get any response. Most of the time, I keep to myself. I suppose I was feeling guilty that it took me 6 weeks to review a short, easy-to-read book and I wanted to offer up some explanation for why that might be as if anyone noticed!
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gali
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Post by gali »

ciecheesemeister wrote: 10 May 2021, 08:27 It has been a very difficult month. My car died on me on a remote country road and getting it repaired wiped out my savings. My self-esteem is pretty shaky at the best of times and it really took a hit when I thought back on all the stupid things that I did in the past and the fact that I never managed to save any money. I have ADHD and high levels of anxiety plus complex PTSD. I also tend to experience imposter syndrome whenever I feel like I'm doing well with anything. In other words, I'm a hot mess.
I do write my own stuff but I'm never going to feature any of it here. I'm strictly a reviewer. However, I almost quit doing both because I was feeling so bad about everything.
I'm not the sort of person who makes connections easily, so I doubt that this will get any response. Most of the time, I keep to myself. I suppose I was feeling guilty that it took me 6 weeks to review a short, easy-to-read book and I wanted to offer up some explanation for why that might be as if anyone noticed!
I am sorry to hear about your difficulties and hope the next months will be better for you.

As long as you have asked for extensions via your Update tab, it is fine and you shouldn't feel bad about it.

The way to make connections here is by interacting with others, commenting on reviews, and playing the games in the off-topic section. :tiphat:
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Lisa A Rayburn
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Post by Lisa A Rayburn »

ciecheesemeister wrote: 10 May 2021, 08:27 It has been a very difficult month. My car died on me on a remote country road and getting it repaired wiped out my savings. My self-esteem is pretty shaky at the best of times and it really took a hit when I thought back on all the stupid things that I did in the past and the fact that I never managed to save any money. I have ADHD and high levels of anxiety plus complex PTSD. I also tend to experience imposter syndrome whenever I feel like I'm doing well with anything. In other words, I'm a hot mess.
I do write my own stuff but I'm never going to feature any of it here. I'm strictly a reviewer. However, I almost quit doing both because I was feeling so bad about everything.
I'm not the sort of person who makes connections easily, so I doubt that this will get any response. Most of the time, I keep to myself. I suppose I was feeling guilty that it took me 6 weeks to review a short, easy-to-read book and I wanted to offer up some explanation for why that might be as if anyone noticed!
I'm sorry things have been so difficult for you. Don't feel guilty about taking a while to review your chosen book. It's happened to all of us at one time or another. I definitely empathize with having anxiety and ADHD. I am on meds for both. If you would like to 'friend' me on here, I'd be more than happy to chat sometimes or when you just need an ear. Remember, for every negative thought you have, make your brain find two positive ones, even if it's just that you woke up this morning and you made it to another day!
Books are my self-medication. 8)
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Manang Muyang
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Post by Manang Muyang »

ciecheesemeister wrote: 10 May 2021, 08:27 In other words, I'm a hot mess.
We all have our quirks. We all have our flaws. We all have our bad days. But we all have strengths, talents, and something beautiful inside us, as well. There are over two million people on this site. I bet not one of them is perfect, but each one is wonderfully unique.

I know you know all that. But venting helps. Go ahead and vent.

P.S. Your opening post could have been me talking one time or another. Different circumstances maybe, but the same thoughts. It's okay. You are not a hot mess. And you write really well.
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Post by Gravy »

ciecheesemeister wrote: 10 May 2021, 08:27 It has been a very difficult month. My car died on me on a remote country road and getting it repaired wiped out my savings. My self-esteem is pretty shaky at the best of times and it really took a hit when I thought back on all the stupid things that I did in the past and the fact that I never managed to save any money. I have ADHD and high levels of anxiety plus complex PTSD. I also tend to experience imposter syndrome whenever I feel like I'm doing well with anything. In other words, I'm a hot mess.
I do write my own stuff but I'm never going to feature any of it here. I'm strictly a reviewer. However, I almost quit doing both because I was feeling so bad about everything.
I'm not the sort of person who makes connections easily, so I doubt that this will get any response. Most of the time, I keep to myself. I suppose I was feeling guilty that it took me 6 weeks to review a short, easy-to-read book and I wanted to offer up some explanation for why that might be as if anyone noticed!

God, this hits so close to home.
I have a lot of those same thoughts.

Anyway, you are not alone in any of those feelings. *hugs offered*

Feel free to message me anytime. It may take me a few days to see the message (health/injuries kicking my butt, recently), but I would welcome hearing from you.
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MrsCatInTheHat
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Post by MrsCatInTheHat »

ciecheesemeister wrote: 10 May 2021, 08:27 It has been a very difficult month. My car died on me on a remote country road and getting it repaired wiped out my savings. My self-esteem is pretty shaky at the best of times and it really took a hit when I thought back on all the stupid things that I did in the past and the fact that I never managed to save any money. I have ADHD and high levels of anxiety plus complex PTSD. I also tend to experience imposter syndrome whenever I feel like I'm doing well with anything. In other words, I'm a hot mess.
I do write my own stuff but I'm never going to feature any of it here. I'm strictly a reviewer. However, I almost quit doing both because I was feeling so bad about everything.
I'm not the sort of person who makes connections easily, so I doubt that this will get any response. Most of the time, I keep to myself. I suppose I was feeling guilty that it took me 6 weeks to review a short, easy-to-read book and I wanted to offer up some explanation for why that might be as if anyone noticed!
I am so sorry that you are having a hard time right now. Don't give up on yourself, you will get through this. It's sometimes hard to see the end of the tunnel, but it is there. Many of us have been through it and can assure you that it is there.
Life without a good book is something MrsCatInTheHat cannot imagine.
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Post by Kansas City Teacher »

I am sorry you are feeling down. You have put into words what many others may be feeling. Keep going and do not quit. One thing that has helped a lot of people I know is to go outside in the sunlight every day if you're not already doing that.
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