Raspberry Bush

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
Post Reply
User avatar
DreadWolf
Posts: 2
Joined: 16 Jan 2019, 04:20
Bookshelf Size: 0

Raspberry Bush

Post by DreadWolf »

I lay beneath the raspberry bush and watch the world go by.

I’m a young adult and my life is good I cannot deny.

I’ve food and shelter but no company, what more could I beg?

I’m a cat you see, fur of gray and white. I want not for a “nest egg”

Yet I find myself staying here with this family when they gave up a chicken leg.




I lay beneath the raspberry bush and watch the world go by.

It’s been more a year with this family, ah how time does fly.

The black furred one, their other cat, we do not get along

We keep fighting and he keeps telling me I do not belong.

That midnight one, the same cat, he is very very headstrong.




I lay beneath the raspberry bush and watch the world go by.

It’s been many years now and I feel old and not so young and spry.

My teeth decay and rot and my family, they do worry.

They take me to the dreaded vet and oh do they hurry.

But they should not worry about this body that is oh so furry.




I lay beneath the raspberry bush and watch the world go by.

I’m not long for this world I know it so, the time I leave draws nigh.

I struggle to breathe and struggle to walk but I still want to stay.

This family, they’ve been good to me, but I’m afraid I have no say.

I wish I did and I wish I could but soon my body will give way.




I lay beneath the raspberry bush. No longer able to see.

I’m covered in dirt, deep, in a box. I have been set free.

No longer will I struggle to take that next breath, no longer will I ache

I’ve been put to rest ‘neath the raspberry bush, I know what’s at stake

I will protect this house even in my death. Just for their sake.
User avatar
tailee_teiwaz
Posts: 1
Joined: 16 Jan 2019, 05:49
Currently Reading: The Unbound Soul
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by tailee_teiwaz »

Love the progression of life/death and the consistency/connection to the raspberry bush.
User avatar
eleanorthereader
Posts: 15
Joined: 13 Jan 2019, 09:36
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 3
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-eleanorthereader.html
Latest Review: Raven's Peak by Lincoln Cole

Post by eleanorthereader »

Major feels <3 I like how circular it feels with the structure and the life/death element, like @tailee_teiwaz said.
User avatar
DreadWolf
Posts: 2
Joined: 16 Jan 2019, 04:20
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by DreadWolf »

Thank you both. I debated posting this as it was incredibly near to my heart. Perhaps I might post more. Something different perhaps.
Post Reply

Return to “Creative Original Works: Poetry”