The mind of one addict
- Sweetp120
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The mind of one addict
I don't want to feel,
It's all crashing down.
I feel like I'm going to drown.
The silent screams,
And the loud long fights,
It all won't stop.
I don't want to feel.
I don't want to let go.
So I'll sit here
And take a hit,
Stick a needle in my vein.
I'll let go
And enter oblivion.
I'll take a drink
And drown out my sorrows.
I'll silence the screams
And take all the blame.
God knows,
I'm tired of this game.
When will I get out?
When will life begin again?
At the end of a barrel
My life was changed.
My eyes were opened
When they put me in chains.
God gave me a gift.
Now I've got to change.
For a second chance full of love
Is far better
Than this drinking and drugging game.
I wrote this poem on September 22, 2014, in my 6th week of treatment, and I was 214 days sober at that time. I state at that time because I did relapse for a short time. As much as I regret the choice to relapse I also do not regret it. After relapsing and being played by an ex-boyfriend I met my second and last husband, to whom -while embarrassed and ashamed- I admitted my problem to. I will never forget the look on his face, on the day I admitted to him my problem, when he said, "If you don't want it, then I don't want it. We won't ever touch it or be around it again." In March of 2019 that day will be 3 years behind me, and since then our family has grown, and now I have two beautiful reasons to stay clean and sober. I hope this poem has helped maybe give a small hint of understanding to someone whose never been in an addicts shoes or even the courage to say I was there too or I need that kind of help now. Bless you all, and thanks for bearing with my ramblings.
- amafie
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- Loripavlovsky1964
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- Sweetp120
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- Ekta Kumari
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-Guy de Maupassant
- Sweetp120
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Thank you so much for your kind words. Im sorry for the late response as i have been having some health issues. I needed this tonight as encouragement to keep going and not giving up no matter how hard things may get. I hope all is well for you and that you have a happy EasterEkta Kumari wrote: ↑03 Mar 2019, 09:55 I admire you for sharing your personal experience so that it can be helpful for others. Congratulations on your progress and beautiful family.
- Dragonsend
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- Sweetp120
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- Sweetp120
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