HER EYES

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Reena Dubey
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HER EYES

Post by Reena Dubey »

The cold winter was feeling shy,
when she gazed with her eye
that was a moment
that was a fullstop
for me, for her
and the never ending whiteness
of the snow and her smile,
but her eyes
blissed me up.
There was a rain
a shower, with her smile
but her eyes
suddenly she was lost,
like a sunshine
but her eyes
left an nonchalant ache in my heart.
_Delly_01
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Post by _Delly_01 »

I had some trouble following most of the poem, but "left an nonchalant ache in my heart" is very powerful. I've never heard of heartache expressed that way, and your choice of using the word 'nonchalant' perfectly describes a heartache where it's not quite dull, but it doesn't surprise you or take your breath away anymore, either. It's the kind of ache that settles and becomes a part of you. It is a very powerful word choice.

Thank-you for sharing your poem. :)
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