And My Thoughts Burn My Soul

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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And My Thoughts Burn My Soul

Post by ladyreck » 31 Aug 2018, 17:35

And My Thoughts Burn My Soul

It is in the wind. The taste of madness…the touch of insanity.
Chaos will conquer peace, and peace will dissolve like dust riding the breeze.
A forfeited life. Surrender to none yet conquered by all. The contradiction of the stumble before the fall.
A maze of intricate webs shadowing the eerie darkness. As an errant youth swallowing the destiny of rage.

Run. I think to escape the haunting I know will come, but I cannot.
Aye and I muddled my way through the storm in search of the calm.
I cannot breathe. The forces of nature capture me. I fought the balance. A lifetime ago it seemed.
Conjuring mercy in a nightmarish dream.

Childhood. A tumble down the hill. The greenest of grass shielding a skinned knee.
Fare thee well my dreams; an instance of reality. Soften the moon, harken the sea.
If I slept, waking on the morrow would change nothing. My senses rob me of the peace to come.
A nobody. A shadow fading in a sea of nothingness.

© Cynthia Clark

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Post by sarahmarlowe » 17 Nov 2018, 12:45

Whew! What a deep read!

First of all, I love the imagery. You do a very good job painting pictures with your verse. I love the imagery in the first line. My favorite is the entire third stanza. "The greenest of grass shielding a skinned knee" is not only a good use of imagery, but I also see it as a metaphor for the social masks we wear as we try to cover our emotional hurts and our mental pain.

I do wonder why childhood is the last stanza instead of the first, especially with the mention of "errant youth" in the first stanza.

Very enjoyable poem. Keep putting your thoughts on paper!
You can spend your time however you want, but you can spend it only once. :eusa-think:

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