A Feline's Schedule

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Emi_Review
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A Feline's Schedule

Post by Emi_Review » 17 Aug 2018, 08:25

Wake at 3am
Wake up servants
Demand food
Eat food
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep
Go on daily hunt
Hunt
sh*t
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep
Grace servants with appearance
Play
Punish servants, claw, nip, hiss
Demand food
Eat food
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep.

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palilogy
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Post by palilogy » 23 Aug 2018, 10:35

laughing at the sh*t line
i would remove the title or allude to the fact that it is a feline without directly saying so
creates intrigue

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Emi_Review
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Post by Emi_Review » 25 Aug 2018, 16:58

palilogy wrote:
23 Aug 2018, 10:35
laughing at the sh*t line
i would remove the title or allude to the fact that it is a feline without directly saying so
creates intrigue
Thank you, I didn't think too much about the title and the overall impact it could have on the poem but I see your point about creating the intrigue :D

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sarahmarlowe
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Post by sarahmarlowe » 20 Nov 2018, 20:20

Cute! You captured the cat's day so well that it made me miss my cat who passed this year. After I read the "hunt" part, I remembered him bringing his kills to the porch. Yuck! But, he was so proud! :lol:

I like the repetition of "Sleep." That's what they love to do! I think it's perfectly fine the way you've written it. The only suggestion I have IF you want to revise is to get a little rhythm going with the verse.

Thank you so much for posting this for all the world to see! Keep writing! :escribir:
sarahmarlowe
You can spend your time however you want, but you can spend it only once. :eusa-think:

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