Be the Light

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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mac83
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Be the Light

Post by mac83 » 16 Aug 2018, 11:18

You see gloomy days,
I see rainbows and sunshine.
You feel hate, I feel love.
You bring pain, I bring comfort.
You are about destruction,
I am about building up.
You want weakness,
I give strength.
You walk in the dark,
I bring the light.
You want others to hurt,
I want them to feel happiness.
It's in your hands to control how miserable you are.
It's in my hands to not let you make others miserable.
You're not evil, but you are not good.
I may not always be good, but I will never be evil.
Mac :techie-reference:

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palilogy
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Post by palilogy » 23 Aug 2018, 10:37

Hmm...
A tad too many cliches and lines that I have heard before.
What makes your idea here different?
Consider using specifics add imagery.

mac83
Posts: 212
Joined: 20 May 2018, 19:44
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 144
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mac83.html
Latest Review: Superhighway 2 by Alex Fayman

Post by mac83 » 23 Aug 2018, 10:42

What makes it different is it was written based on the fact that there are cults and they try to destroy all that is good within someone. So when the person being hurt has someone to counter everthing, they can pull through the nightmare, that there is a light.
Mac :techie-reference:

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