Noches Solitarias (Cold Nights)

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Noches Solitarias (Cold Nights)

Post by Daniel-book » 01 Aug 2018, 01:36

When you get married to a soldier,
Then terms like guns, grenades and magazines,
Should not be a bother,
You get used to heavy boots and bloody scenes,
Lonely and cold nights become familiar,
When he is on a peace-keeping mission in say, Somalia.

When you get married to a doctor,
Then terms like gloves, syringes and Schizophrenia,
Should not be a bother,
You get used to white lab coats and stethoscope plugged in the ear,
Lonely and cold nights become your companion,
When he is cutting and opening pregnant abdomens during late night emergency operation.

When you get married to a teacher,
Then terms like lesson plan, low pay, exam papers and C.A.T.S,
Will not fail to feature,
In your daily conversations,
You get used to pressed shirts, red pens and chalky fingers,
Lonely and cold nights become your friend,
When he is busy marking a pile of papers till late in the night.

Why then do you complain?
When you get married to a writer,
And terms like fiction, essay, poetry, and book clubs,
Become part and parcel of your vocabulary,
Why do you refuse?
To get used to abrupt travels, Microsoft word and unfinished manuscripts,
Why don’t you understand?
That lonely and cold nights will become your comforter,
Those nights he stays up late to polish up the final draft?

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Post by palilogy » 05 Aug 2018, 10:24

There is something missing in this poem or the focus is confused.
Maybe omit the soldier, the doctor and the teacher - that's not where the story is.

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Post by deras--- » 18 Aug 2018, 19:32

I think it features well, as it puts the writer in the same category as the aforementioned professions, it also gives you a leading up to feeling.

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