Criticaly analyze my poem: The Memories

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Marxcanary1
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Icon Criticaly analyze my poem: The Memories

Post by Marxcanary1 »

The Memories
For the first time i open,
this misterios book.
ugly appears the cover page,
but the inside hold,
a story of my life.
You can share in my joy and pain,
if only you stare back at me
before time robs me of my memories.

The first chapter captures love
love sweet and sour
the sweet love glued us together:
my father, mother; my brothers and sisters
we were a happy family
but days danced dull and night grew darker and
the stars went off
my father had fallen in love with death.
I saw him and her vanish,
leaving us helpless
let me read the next chapter
before tears wash away my memories :(
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LASERRR__371
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Post by LASERRR__371 »

"Before time robs me of my memory "
Is your best line in this poem. You might wanna add some more content considering the title. Also should strengthen the tone.
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palilogy
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Post by palilogy »

"My father had fallen in love with death"
Elaborate and delve into this line - there is your intrigue of the poem.
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