A Perfect Company

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Daniel-book
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A Perfect Company

Post by Daniel-book » 27 Jul 2018, 12:53

My wife and I are getting a divorce soon,
Because we argue who will eat with the hand and who will use the spoon,
Sometimes we chase each other around the dining table,
Trying to see who will eat the left-over vegetable,
And who will eat the fresh one!

And when I tell her that her food is a tragedy,
She makes sure that that day the soup is even more watery,
And the meat not tender,
And so we spend the whole evening arguing who made the other slender,
Is it her with her bad food,
Or is it me with my ever complaining mood?

In the house, we are only two,
And when we find a broken glass I say it is not me who did it and she says she did not do it too,
And so we spend the whole night arguing who is lying,
And when the argument gets tough, she starts crying,
And always she uses tears as a strategy,
To get me offer her some sympathy!

When she is from the market, she says she is tired and that she cannot light the jiko,
I also say I cannot light the jiko because I am from work and I am also tired,
And so we spend the whole night arguing who is taking advantage of the other,
In the end, we eat late without talking to each other,
And when I try to touch her in bed, she throws away my hands and turns the other side!

In the morning we argue who will do the dishes,
I say that the person who will leave the bed last is the one who will do the dishes,
When she hears that she jumps out of the bed but I hold her skirt,
And so we spend the whole morning pulling each other back to bed,
In the commotion she accidently kicks and breaks the television screen,
In the end we decide to go without breakfast,
And so she sits there in front of a broken television shampooing her hair,
And I remain in bed writing this poem and eating air!

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DATo
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Post by DATo » 28 Jul 2018, 00:53

Daniel, I like your poem very much. It contains thoughtfully constructed humor which I appreciate. Although the story it tells is to some extent a tragic one which is all too common in many marriages, it also instructs the reader to contemplate how trivial are our complaints sometimes not only with a spouse but also with the people we encounter in our everyday lives.

Very well done!!! My compliments.
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright

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palilogy
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Post by palilogy » 05 Aug 2018, 10:37

I love this poem and the comedy.
I would consider omitting unnecessary lines - lines that tell nothing new that we already infer in the poem.
"And so we spend the whole evening arguing who made the other slender,
Is it her with her bad food,
Or is it me with my ever complaining mood?"

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