Desperate and Voiceless

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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thisgirl818
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Desperate and Voiceless

Post by thisgirl818 »

Screaming.
I'm screaming voiceless once again
I close my eyes in the darkness
Hoping for something, anything, nothing
Silence embraces my very being
Lost in thought, lost in love
Finally I see the permanent damage
You did to me
If only you were a better man
I'd say I'd still be in love
Helpless in your every desire
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Kenyan23
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Post by Kenyan23 »

You're such a great writer thisgirl818. When your reading every line you will feel the emotions, you will like your the one wrote this.
Your really good.
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marvy-link
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Post by marvy-link »

to my point of view the his heart broken
due to what the guy did to her she will find it hard to love again
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palilogy
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Post by palilogy »

I think you have something buried within this poem
Why wasn't he a better man?
When did the speaker fall out of love?
Use details - less vague = better poem !
Latest Review: Mistress Suffragette by Diana Forbes
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thisgirl818
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Post by thisgirl818 »

It's difficult to love an incomplete man, he'll just end up destroying you, devour everything you have...
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ccranston
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Post by ccranston »

I kind of like it better vague. Leaves it open for the reader to make their own personal connections.
“You know you’ve read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend." –Paul Sweeney
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