Through the tears

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Daniel-book
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Through the tears

Post by Daniel-book » 04 Jul 2018, 12:08

I know I started reasoning with my manhood instead of my brain,
When I let all that I had built for years go down the drain,
Dear 'mpango wa kando',before a word you say,
Know that the same sun that melts wax also hardens clay!

I just met you the other day,
But we have done more than I did in many years,
With my wife who is now drenched in tears!
I must admit in your charm I overdosed,
But I never kept my two eyes completely closed!
I could see how our affair took a great toll om my wife!

Whenever we met in expensive hotels,Through the shiny forks and glass plates,
I could see my wife feeding the children and covering my meal,
I could see her coming out of the shower and putting on her night dress,
I could see her checking the clock and getting worried,her heart racing fast,
I could see drops of tears dripping from the corners of her eyes and soaking the pillow that she held tightly on,
When the clock ticked past midnight!

Whenever we went for picnics and kissed by the waterfall,
Through the reflection of the crystal clear waters,
I could see her picking the children from school,
I could see her making tea and poring mine in the thermos flask,
I could see her trying to reach me over the phone,
I could see tears swelling in her eyes when she watched the tea getting cold inside the flask!

Dear 'mpango wa kando',
Whenever we were together,
I never kept my eyes completely closed,
Whenever we spent the night at your place,
Through your face that shone bright after a night of steamy sex,
I could see her applying for a loan to pay our house rent,
I could see her getting our children new pair of shoes,
I could see her passing by the supermarket to get my favourite body spray,
I could see her placing the cologne beside the bed,hoping I come home soon,
I could see her hugging my picture!

Dear 'mpango wa kando'.I can't continue to see you anymore,
I'm going back to my wife,
Prevention is better than cure,
I'm going back to she whose love is pure,
She who has stood by me through thick and thin,
Righteousness and sin,
She who is taking care of my kids,
You are just but a passing wind,
Which brings with it heavy clouds that never bring rain!
Through the tears in my wife's eyes,
I could see the love inside her heart!

("Mpango wa kando" is a Kiswahili word for Concubine.

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palilogy
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Post by palilogy » 06 Jul 2018, 19:21

I love this poem and the Kiswahili - I almost want more of it and less of everything else.
Consider condensing and keeping only your strongest lines =)

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ccranston
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Post by ccranston » 11 Jul 2018, 02:26

I love how you describe what this person sees his wife doing. Brings out the guilt he feels. Great job!
“You know you’ve read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend." –Paul Sweeney

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LASERRR__371
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Post by LASERRR__371 » 28 Jul 2018, 14:00

I liked the way husband notices his wife's pain. You can make a part two of it on how can she take him back after what he has done.

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DATo
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Post by DATo » 29 Jul 2018, 05:04

Very nice poem. I like the theme it contains as well as its construction. It is the story of a man who succumbs to weakness only to find the greater strength to abide by the dictates of his conscience; it is the story of a fallen angel who redeems himself to seek and reaffirm his lost grace.

Well done!
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright

Daniel-book
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Post by Daniel-book » 30 Jul 2018, 14:36

Thank you all for your responses

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CJHeigelmann
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Post by CJHeigelmann » 01 Aug 2018, 11:36

A pleasant surprise! The theme, the message of shame, the empathy for his significant other all culminate in change of heart and of the mind.

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