thoughts?

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Izzie Carter
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thoughts?

Post by Izzie Carter » 16 Jun 2018, 04:10

Is it true that the there is a God?
In the midst of all the evil that abounds
and that there's a reason we're made for
Even though some die as mere infants.

Is it true that science is objective?
And so are it's truths
Yet old theories give way to discoveries
And old truths to New truths

Is it true that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder?
And one man's food is another man's poison
But we all agree that sugar is not bitter
And that there should be no food for the lazy.

Is it true? Is it true?
That we know anything at all
knowledge can be an illusion too
Perhaps cognition is our flaw.
Reality is the illusion we choose . :techie-studyingbrown:

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palilogy
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Post by palilogy » 16 Jun 2018, 10:51

I think you have a lot of good material here and strength in the narrator's voice.
I would consider the ending though - maybe breaking pattern and ending on a question - or on your answer without doubt.

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Samarth sahu+123
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Post by Samarth sahu+123 » 16 Jun 2018, 12:05

Nice lines
But i think you will do some more words
Ur lines are too good

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Izzie Carter
Posts: 19
Joined: 20 Oct 2017, 04:22
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Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-izzie-carter.html
Latest Review: Fish Wielder by J.R.R.R. (Jim) Hardison
Reading Device: B016UDMQAW
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Post by Izzie Carter » 18 Jun 2018, 10:00

palilogy wrote:
16 Jun 2018, 10:51
I think you have a lot of good material here and strength in the narrator's voice.
I would consider the ending though - maybe breaking pattern and ending on a question - or on your answer without doubt.
Hmm, I think I'll do just that. Thanks for the feedback
Reality is the illusion we choose . :techie-studyingbrown:

User avatar
Izzie Carter
Posts: 19
Joined: 20 Oct 2017, 04:22
2018 Reading Goal: 20
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 7
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-izzie-carter.html
Latest Review: Fish Wielder by J.R.R.R. (Jim) Hardison
Reading Device: B016UDMQAW
Location: Nigeria

Post by Izzie Carter » 18 Jun 2018, 10:01

Samarth sahu+123 wrote:
16 Jun 2018, 12:05
Nice lines
But i think you will do some more words
Ur lines are too good
Wow, thanks man.
Reality is the illusion we choose . :techie-studyingbrown:

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