The Dawn

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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shortguytall
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The Dawn

Post by shortguytall » 22 Apr 2018, 07:02

The Dawn

I went outside to witness dawn arrive,
And met the cool spring air, pleasantly crisp
Upon my skin. I turned my eyes eastward
Towards the rising sun, who's early rays
Shone rosy hued across the sky, and clouds,
That blanketed the upper air, became
An ocean, with the sun still low, that cast
Its rays upon the surface, where the cresting
Waves were highlighted, with their fiery caps,
In passion-red, that set off depths beyond,
With rich purples, and darker, cooler blues.
The beauty of the scene held me the length.
I watched until the sun had risen past
The level of the clouds, and suddenly
The vibrant reds and darker purples faded,
As the sea calmed, and turned a deeper blue.

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Libs_Books
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Post by Libs_Books » 27 Apr 2018, 05:05

That's a very beautiful depiction - I love the wealth of colour.

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Mr Mutua Leams
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Post by Mr Mutua Leams » 28 Apr 2018, 06:55

the vivid description of the dawn is captivating yet the ending is not of the peak. ''

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Mr Mutua Leams
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Post by Mr Mutua Leams » 28 Apr 2018, 06:58

the vivid description of the dawn is captivating yet the ending is not of the peak. ''suddenly " is not proper look for something different

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DATo
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Post by DATo » 28 Apr 2018, 09:47

This is a beautifully descriptive poem which I enjoyed reading very much. It had a mystical quality about it and the metaphor of the sea was excellently crafted.

Many thanks to you for sharing this beautiful poem with us!
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright

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thaservices1
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Post by thaservices1 » 02 Jun 2018, 03:31

Quite lovely. Thank you.
"It is not the critic that counts..."
- Roosevelt

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KatSims92
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Post by KatSims92 » 29 Jun 2018, 09:12

I love the simplicity of the scene, but you made it extraordinary with the images and feelings evoked.

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