Simplicity is my life

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Tzenn
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Joined: 20 Mar 2018, 08:15
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Icon Simplicity is my life

Post by Tzenn »

Simplicity is my life


I don’t have a luxurious palace for you to live in
I live in an inn
I don’t drive fancy cars coz that’s not ma type
I’m busy living my fancy life which is more like my type…
I don’t chase empty dreams
I’m too busy to be caught up in my own fantasies
I don’t have money to be a millionaire
That doesn’t bother me coz I have enough money to make a living
All I’m saying is... I’m not rich to have all the money that you want
I don’t have a fancy car or live a luxurious life
I’m not an actress to impress you with my shows
I’m only a simple ordinary girl living a simple life
I don’t need money to be rich or to be a model
All I want is to be simple coz simplicity is my life
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Kataruiz
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Post by Kataruiz »

I believe you counterdict yourself when you say your "busy"
Replace "coz"
Instead of saying your too busy chasing your fantasies you can say too caught up in real fantasies
don't have enough money to be called a millionaire
Take out all I'm saying
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Tzenn
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Joined: 20 Mar 2018, 08:15
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Post by Tzenn »

@ Kataruiz... Thanks for the feedback. Appreciate it
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