Early Spring

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Libs_Books
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Early Spring

Post by Libs_Books » 16 Mar 2018, 04:12

Brave daffodils dance.
On the hill, cherry blossoms
Break forth like spring snow

In the garden, green
Tendrils reach timidly up
And out, seeking warmth,

Sunlight, space to grow.
Birds court and challenge, piping
Rainbow-tinted notes.

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Lincolnshirelass
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Post by Lincolnshirelass » 16 Mar 2018, 04:57

What a beautiful little poem! I specially like the image of the birds piping rainbow-tinted notes!
An Eye for an Eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

Mahatma Gandhi

EllieA
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Post by EllieA » 24 Mar 2018, 21:03

Really nice line breaks and punctuation choices. I especially like the choices in the second stanza; garden green and green tendrils, the break between up and out.

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Libs_Books
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Post by Libs_Books » 25 Mar 2018, 03:36

Thank you both for you kind comments

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DATo
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Post by DATo » 25 Mar 2018, 07:01

Very nice. I share Lassie's opinion of the "rainbow tinted notes". That really caught my eye.
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright

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Libs_Books
Posts: 674
Joined: 13 Feb 2018, 12:54
Favorite Book: The year of the flood
Currently Reading: Anything is Possible
Bookshelf Size: 259
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-libs-books.html
Latest Review: The Mathematician's Journey by Anthony Dalton
Location: UK

Post by Libs_Books » 26 Mar 2018, 13:14

Thanks for the feedback, DATo

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