What do you think of my poem?

[Master of Bullshit]

I gave you a map to my heart and you kept it for yourself

I gave you a map to my heart and you memorized every path

I gave you a map to my heart and you cleared every over grown path

I gave you a map to my heart and you revived the dying roses

I gave you a map to my heart and you led yourself through the maze

I gave you a map to my heart and you pillaged the memories

I gave you a map to my heart and you trampled every path

I gave you a map to my heart and burned every tree

I gave you a map to my heart and you rerouted every path

I gave you a map to my heart and you built a heavy stone wall around it

I gave you a map to my heart and you trapped within

I gave you a map to my heart and you kept it for yourself

[Bhmurray1498]

I really love the repetition of 'I gave you a map to my heart' and I think the message you're conveying hits a lot of people in the heart. However I think it is a message that are in many poem books; a publisher may notice that and not want to add it to a collection nonetheless it is a very descent poem and quite enjoyable to read.

[qsusan]

The poem is good and I especially like the mirror images in the upper and lower halves that overlap and enhance each other.
But the flow and rhythm of the poem may be a little awkward, do you feel the same?

I gave you a map to my heart, you kept it for yourself

gave you a map to my heart and you memorized every path

I gave you a map to my heart, you revived the dying roses

gave you a map to my heart and you cleared the overgrowth

I gave you a map to my heart, you led yourself through the maze

gave you a map to my heart and you pillaged all the memories

I gave you a map to my heart, you trampled every path

gave you a map to my heart and you burned every tree

I gave you a map to my heart, you rerouted all the paths

gave you a map to my heart and you raised stone walls 'round

(I gave you a map to my heart and you trapped within) = you may consider rewriting or removing this line, the meaning is unclear who is trapped?

I gave you a map to my heart and you kept it for yourself



This is just a suggested form to give you an idea about improving the flow but ultimately you are the one who knows what you wish to express and what is best for your poem.

[rusalka]

I understand this poem to be deeply personal and almost surely a result of some recent emotional turmoil the author (yourself) experienced. As such, I'm not criticizing it; we all need an outlet of some sort or another.

With that in mind, if you're interested in bettering it, I would cut short on some of the repetition as it is too long and makes the reader skim over to only the second parts of the lines. Try incorporating it only with the first and last two lines, see how it works if the repetition becomes a little more unexpected. You could even try separating the poem into two stanzas, the twist of it (deviation from what seemed like a happy progression) beginning with the line I gave you a map to my heart.

Poem wrting develops when you stay true to yourself and practice, like any other art form. Good luck!

[Mwanyalo]

i could understand this poem this way:you show up something or may be an idea with all your heart, and no one cares about it.