Love Sonnet 135

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Love Sonnet 135

Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes » 18 Feb 2018, 01:37

Love Sonnet 135

Our love has thrived above board all the time,
That scribes above would note regards our fate,
Perhaps, we have enough of deeds sublime,
For sure access enjoyed at Heaven's gate;
No need to press review of glorious acts,
Or pester Heaven's keeper with demands,
You have been virtuous, on angelic tracts,
On paths not swerved, and far from reprimands;
Yet should our mirth confront but bolted doors,
We'll wait outside, encamped in desert tents
As would bedouin sheiks and troubadours,
Until all settles to our hearts intents;
.......But even now, with you here by my side,
.......To call it less than Heaven, I deride.

---Reyvrex Questor Reyes
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"

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jbeebe8
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Post by jbeebe8 » 18 Feb 2018, 05:49

Subject matter is deep,endings are jagged, some rhyme, most don't, which interrupts flow. Content matter is original and unique.

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DATo
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Post by DATo » 18 Feb 2018, 07:27

A nice, modern-day sonnet. I liked it Reyes. I especially liked the way you stuck to the classic Shakespearian sonnet form complete with summarizing ending couplet.

Thanks for sharing!
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright

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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
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Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes » 18 Feb 2018, 10:04

DATo wrote:
18 Feb 2018, 07:27
A nice, modern-day sonnet. I liked it Reyes. I especially liked the way you stuck to the classic Shakespearian sonnet form complete with summarizing ending couplet.

Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for visiting buddy, and thanks for the encouraging remark. You have nice literary pieces yourself that I have viewed. Thanks for sharing.
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"

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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
Posts: 1136
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Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes » 18 Feb 2018, 10:12

jbeebe8 wrote:
18 Feb 2018, 05:49
Subject matter is deep,endings are jagged, some rhyme, most don't, which interrupts flow. Content matter is original and unique.
Thanks for giving me the honor of being your first post. I appreciate and need your critique. Thanks for sharing your time.
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"

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ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
Posts: 1136
Joined: 28 Sep 2017, 07:38
2017 Reading Goal: 100
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Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... 5">Raven's Peak</a>
Currently Reading: Uncharted
Bookshelf Size: 163
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-reyvrexquestor-reyes.html
Latest Review: Gods and heroes by Oladele Olusanya

Post by ReyvrexQuestor Reyes » 02 Jun 2018, 21:51

jbeebe8 wrote:
18 Feb 2018, 05:49
Subject matter is deep,endings are jagged, some rhyme, most don't, which interrupts flow. Content matter is original and unique.
With regards to rhyme, the rhyming scheme is based on "masculine rhyme" or "end rhymes" which a rhyming dictionary could offer a reference for. Thanks, you have noticed.
"In the beginning was the word.........John 1:1"

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