Sheep
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- Posts: 10
- Joined: 10 Jan 2018, 06:20
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- Bookshelf Size: 0
Sheep
love, faith and gratitude.
Your world is knives, guns,
blood and attitude.
I roll with scriptures
and messages of old,
people who lived
and the stories they told.
You roll with wild music,
fancy cars and expensive clothes.
You roll with silver, diamonds
and every kind of gold.
You claim you no longer live that life,
you say it's sold.
But I think you're a lost sheep,
and not of this fold.
- SPasciuti
- Posts: 415
- Joined: 07 Jan 2018, 20:30
- Favorite Book: <a href="http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelve ... 46410">The Wendy</a>
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- Latest Review: Samuel by Samuel kidstar
Your poem has a really brilliant start and is almost musical in quality. I think you kind of lose your rhythm a bit in the third and fourth stanza in part due to the fact that your rhyme remains the same (old, told, gold, fold) and also because your line lengths varied in an unmatched way, but it's still really good.
- ReyvrexQuestor Reyes
- Previous Member of the Month
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- Latest Review: Journey by Lindsay Schuster
- Reading Device: 1400697484
Emotions are what make the poem going, or rather, the poet going. Keep on writing.
...To delineate the times that lovers miss,
...A thousand dreams can't beat a single kiss.
-reyvrex (Love Sonnet 107)
- Libs_Books
- Posts: 755
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