Out of season and old

[FNAWrite]

Christmas 2012 - The Morbid, the Merrier

No matter your religion, your faith or your creed
Please attend now my Christmastime screed.
Just like the holiday,, my complaint has been annual,
So regular in fact, I can write from a manual.

The advertisements come earlier
As each Yuletide arrives
The pitchmen wax surlier
as each of them strives
to sell us their holiday goods.

It seems each year it gets a bit worse
Blandishments furious and fast
I crave old-fashioned - that is my curse
I fear each winter might be the last
For hard sauce and raisiny puds

This year’s first holly seen before Halloween
October Christmas I never had seen
Santa premiered this year on the 12th.
Yet why complain, I still have my health
- Oh right.

So it’s off to a mall for a padded red knee
to tell him of all I want just for me

For my hernias three, please give me some mesh
So my kneeling’s pain-free in front of the creche

There’s no longer a doubt my heartbeat’s a wreck
Like “Time Further Out” by the late Dave Brubeck

Some vertebrae crushed, yeah, they give me some pain
But the cure can’t be rushed - it’s Oxycontin again

My prostate has grown to the size of a melon
And it keeps me “goin’” because of the swellin’

My cat-scan showed spots glowing not joyous but bright
Bringing wintery dreams to each winter’s night

My blood-sugar meter is hung up with care
In hope that low numbers soon will be there.

Now I’ve said all that, so I could say this
In sickness or health, ‘tis the season for bliss

I’m honestly cheerful; I’m overflowing with joy
(As is befitting for each girl and boy).

Please worry not about my or your health
The life that we’ve got is a treasure of wealth

I should fret the commercial and complain it’s all crass?
No. It’s the best time of year, you can bet your sweet ass.

Go shopping, go praying, go give to the poor
Go eating, go drinking, go singing “Adore”.
I won’t grudge Bill Gates another billion or more
If Wal-Mart is open, it's Thanksgiving dinner then head out the door.

Print ads and video and billboards bombard
I’ll smile when I see them, it won’t be that hard.
I’m letting it go, all my stern indignation
From now on, no beefs with commercialization.

It’s life as it is and I’m fine with that
I’m doffing for good my cynic’s flat hat.
So joy unto you, unto them, unto me
All life is of beauty (if not easy to see)

I’m peaceful now here, my anger I’ve mastered...

(But don’t worry, next year I’ll get all those bastards!)

Merry Christmas