Starlight

[asiangirl22]

STARLIGHT
Starlight, shining bright

What’s up with you tonight?

Mesmerized by your beauty

For a while, would you stay with me?


Starlight, shining bright

What’s this madness in sight?

Not a long ago, love’s true

And now, we are saying “adieu”?


Starlight, shining bright

For my love, should I fight?

Tell me where did I go wrong

For each other, ain’t we belong?


Starlight, shining bright

What’s up with you tonight?

This afternoon around two

I left the earth to be with you...


by asiangirl22

[ANDREW MBAGO]

Good use of end rhymes and repetitions.I suggest you look at the spacing among the lines.I think your poem has four stanzas.For example;

Starlight,shinning bright
What's this madness in sight
Mesmerized by your beauty
For a while would you stay with me.

Starlight,shinning bright
.......
.......
......

[Julez]

I love this piece. It's a beautiful poem.

[Nina Rose]

I like how it uses repetitions and rhyme for word flow.I don't like the last line though.

[asiangirl22]

Hi All,

Glad you like the poem, thanks for stopping by.

[Vivian Paschal]

Like everyone else is saying, your rhymes and repetition are powerful. I also like the way you frame the questions in the poem. It was also very simple and easy to flow with. Good work!

[asiangirl22]

Vivian,

Thank you for your feedback, it's greatly appreciated.