I never

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Zzaakkiiyyaa
Posts: 20
Joined: 30 May 2017, 11:17
Currently Reading: Paper Towns
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I never

Post by Zzaakkiiyyaa »

i never wanted to drift through life,
i wanted to tear peoples hearts
in beautiful ways,
make impact,
change the structure of people’s brain tendrils,
i wanted to create laughter, pain, feeling in my words
i needed people to be destroyed, in one way or another
by my voice,
my writing,
my echo,
for I believe feeling is the only way to get through;
for people to understand that -
i am not here lightly
i am a gallant ball of flames
i spew passion from every angle
my fire is not to be distinguished
i’ll roar my way through your forest,
tear it down,
leave the ashes on the ground
as a reminder
that i,
never wanted to drift through life
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Kelebogile Mbangi
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Post by Kelebogile Mbangi »

Inspiring! I personally love writing poetry and short stories, your poem makes me want to be more passionate about writing. And its so easy to drift through the motions of life, thanks for sharing this piece!
"And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!" - Dr. Seuss
Zzaakkiiyyaa
Posts: 20
Joined: 30 May 2017, 11:17
Currently Reading: Paper Towns
Bookshelf Size: 166

Post by Zzaakkiiyyaa »

Kelebogile Mbangi wrote:Inspiring! I personally love writing poetry and short stories, your poem makes me want to be more passionate about writing. And its so easy to drift through the motions of life, thanks for sharing this piece!
Thank you so much for your kind words! It means a lot to me that you liked it. I'm glad this poem inspired you and that you can take something from it. It honestly means the world to me :D
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Czarmaine AM
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Post by Czarmaine AM »

I'm amazed by how you used the same lines in the beginning and end of this poem. I've always wanted to write something like this but I can't seem to find the right words. Good job! thanks for sharing your passion to the world <3
"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
(The Old Astronomer to His Pupil by Sarah Williams)
Latest Review: "Border Post 99" by Kedar Patankar
Zzaakkiiyyaa
Posts: 20
Joined: 30 May 2017, 11:17
Currently Reading: Paper Towns
Bookshelf Size: 166

Post by Zzaakkiiyyaa »

czarmaineam wrote:I'm amazed by how you used the same lines in the beginning and end of this poem. I've always wanted to write something like this but I can't seem to find the right words. Good job! thanks for sharing your passion to the world <3
Thank you so much for your super kind comment :D It means a lot to me! You could definitely write something like this! <3
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Vivian Paschal
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Post by Vivian Paschal »

I love this poem. It speaks volumes really. In my own four lines, two of which are borrowed from you, and two of which sum up to be a popular saying:
I never wanted to drift through life
I came and I saw
And all I wanted to do was conquer
I never wanted to drift through life.

Thanks for sharing this piece.
PS. I think you might have erred by using distinguished rather than extinguished in line sixteen.
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