The Water Rose

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Scott
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The Water Rose

Post by Scott »

I wrote this today. Let me know what you think! :D


The Water Rose

It was a sunny day
in my giant tub of joy

But in the echos
of the walls
defining this space

I heard a rumble
faint
but ominous

I let the thought slide from my mind
as I played along
until I felt that puddle

My sock was damp
my shoe was wet
So I cursed the clouds
overhead

But I thanked the stars
peaking through
that that was it
until I felt the tides
hit my ankles

I won't bury the lead
the water kept rising
I felt it climbing
slowly getting ready
to bury me entirely

The horror crept
right above my knees
and it kept creeping
as if chasing my face

Now well past my waist
I cursed the skies and God
the clouds and the rain
the torture
the pain
the dirty muddy evil
playing us like a game

But curses didn't stop
this monster's sadism
It's as if it fed
on all I was saying

It kept pouring on me
and the whole world around me
And as I was done shaking my wet fist at the skies above
I cried down into my hands
Why does the world have to be like this?!

When it finally crept up my neck
I decided my fate had sealed
And it was okay I supposed
I don't want to live in a world like this
All this dirt and filth and wet watery grime

But then
When I felt it was finally time
I did something I didn't know could be done
My hands opened
my arms moved
my legs flew

I swam
I had never swam before
So with new tears in my eyes
I cried back to the same sky
From the flooded Earth
And I said please, oh please
Never let it dry
So I can swim like this
forever





the-water-rose.jpg
the-water-rose.jpg (231.7 KiB) Viewed 1376 times


I couldn't decide which of the images I liked best, so I included all three. :lol2: Which image do you prefer?
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Kaitlyn Wadsworth
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Post by Kaitlyn Wadsworth »

I love the third floating rose. Loved the poem.
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Scott
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Post by Scott »

Kaitlyn Wadsworth wrote: 16 Nov 2023, 22:09 I love the third floating rose. Loved the poem.
Thank you, Kaitlyn! :D
"That virtue we appreciate is as much ours as another's. We see so much only as we possess." - Henry David Thoreau

"Non ignara mali miseris succurrere disco." Virgil, The Aeneid
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Post by Reva Parker »

I also would vote for the third one, though all of them are beautiful.
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Post by Reva Parker »

I also would vote for the third one, though all of them are beautiful.
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Post by Asma Aisha Ansari »

The first rose best suits the lines in my opinion.
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Post by Nisha DSouza »

I liked the first one with the light pink rose. The muddy waters perfectly match the poem.
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Post by Kibet Hillary »

The poem is incredible!
I like the transformation between the 12th and the 13th verses. My mind was filled with vivid images!
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Post by Seetha E »

Considering the emotion of the poem and the lines, I would go with the first rose... most apt for this poem among the 3 chosen.
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Post by Gloria M 3 »

Wow I loved the flow of the poem it's very similar to what we experience, I enjoyed the change with in the 13th and 14th stanzas. The first image suits what comes with the muddy waters.
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Post by Kajori Sheryl Paul »

All three of the roses are beautiful, though I think the first one goes best with the poem.

I must say that the poem is very inspiring. It gives a ray of hope. Thank you!
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Post by Surabhi Rani »

'Why does the world have to be like this?' Thought-provoking! An ever-inspiring poem! The ending was great! It shows the writer's clarity of life concepts!
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